Check Your Sources
by ekc293
Summary: The extended companion pieces for "Extra! Extra! Read All About It!" And yes... you should probably read that first.
1. October 11, 2012

So... you asked for it! These are the extended scenes behind the stories that I've posted in _Extra! Extra! Read All About It!_ I personally think you should read those first (they're not very long), though I guess you could technically read these and still understand them.**  
**

I hope I do them justice!

* * *

**October 11, 2012**

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Kate huffed, tossing her hair up over her shoulder as she glared at him for asking her the same question for the fifth time in half as many hours. She was hunched over, strapping on her gold heels, the final piece of her ensemble that she and Lanie had spent hours searching for and spent a good chunk of her bi-weekly paycheck on. He was watching her in the mirror he was standing in front of, his tie still hanging limply around his neck, his cufflinks undone, his expression clouded with concern.

She sighed. Out of all the nights of the year, this should be the one where he doesn't have to worry. "Heat Wave" was finally hitting the big screen. It was his first book-gone-movie, and he had played a pretty big part in the production when you look at how much input other authors (J.K. Rowling aside) get to have when it comes down to it. He should be happy, ecstatic even – the characters he created in his mind were so successful, so relatable, that people wanted to make a movie about them, and instead he's worrying about if she really wants to do this.

She stood up, adjusting her dress, straightening out the skirt that flared out her hips and ended at mid-thigh and walked over to him. He watched her reflection, his eyes trailing momentarily down to her legs. She rolled her eyes slightly, smirking because even when he's worried about something he's still so easily distractible.

_Oh Castle…_

She slides up behind him, fastening his cuff linksfor him before spinning him towards her and lifting her hands to knot his tie for him. His hands settled on her waist, his fingers sliding along the silky black jersey.

"Have I told you how much I love this dress?" he asked her quietly, one hand reaching around to stroke the bare skin of her back.

Kate hummed her affirmation.

"Only about five times since I first put it on an half an hour ago."

He trailed the tips of his fingers over her spine, the slightly callused pads making her shiver slightly against him and she didn't have to look at him to know he was smirking at her.

Nearly four months of being with him and he still manages to do that to her.

She finishes knotting his tie, straightens it for him and looks up at him with a small smile as she ran her fingers down the long piece of silk.

"I'm sure."

He looked at her, still not thoroughly convinced and she would have been really annoyed if she didn't think it was equally as sweet.

He just didn't want her to be uncomfortable. He knew how much she hated the spotlight and didn't want her to feel like she had to do it this way.

She leans up, presses a soft kiss against his lips, waits until he returns the pressure before pulling away, sliding a hand down his freshly shaven cheek.

"It's time," she said simply.

And it was. They had been together since May.

His phone rings on his nightstand, undoubtedly their driver telling them that he was downstairs, exactly on time, and Kate smiled at him. She moved her hand to the hand at her waist, plucking his off of her and holding it in her own, squeezing it tightly before tugging him over to the edge of the bed where the rest of his suit was laid out.

"Come on," she said, handing his jacket to him. As he slid it over his shoulders, she walked over and unplugged his phone from the wall, checking his missed calls and seeing that it was indeed the car service. She walked up behind him, reaching around his waist and slid his phone into his front pocket. She grabs her clutch from her nightstand (still his nightstand technically… but really, it's hers) and reached out a hand to him.

"Come on," she said, "time for me to tell the women of the world that they can't have you anymore."

He smiled back at her, the corner of his eyes crinkling in that way she loves so much, and took her hand.

XxX

The ride in the town car was mostly silent. Rick tensed back up again during the ride from the loft to the premiere, and Kate couldn't help but think that it was funny that she was the calm one in this situation. She held his hand in her lap, brushing her thumb along his skin in a soothing motion as if she could suck the tension from his muscles from his skin with only her touch.

The car came to a stop and she saw Rick brace himself square his shoulders as the car idled two blocks away from the Angelika Film Center where the red carpet started – they blocked off the whole street in both directions for this premiere. There were photographers waiting just outside the door, she could tell by the flashes through the window and the voices already calling out questions though they didn't even know who was inside the car.

She leaned over, brushed a chaste kiss against his cheek before she let his hand go.

Their driver, a man Castle called Sal, opened the door for him and he climbed out. She heard the excited buzz of the crowd pick up at the sight of him, and she couldn't stop the proud smile that bloomed across her lips because all of what was going on out on the street was because of him.

Castle turned around and reached a hand into the car to help her out. She took it, sliding across the leather seat as he guided her out of the car and onto the red carpet. The calls from the crowd grew even louder, and Castle wrapped his arm around her waist, tipping his imaginary hat to Sal who was already back in the car before he began to lead her down the red carpet, smiling politely at the cameras and the fans who were standing behind them.

"Is Paula here?" Kate asked, her voice barely audible over the roar of the crowd to their side.

Rick leaned closer and nodded, "I'm sure she's inside. She can only handle so many pictures before she threatens to rip a photographer to pieces."

Kate smirked. She knew the feeling.

"How angry is she going to be at us?"

"At us? Not very. She can't be too mad because I've already written the statement and my tech guy is ready to post it as soon as we get inside…" he smiled at her, "but at herself? That woman prides herself on knowing _everything_ about my personal life. That we've been together four months and she hadn't realized? She'll be _mortified_."

Kate laughed slightly, imagining the look on the woman's face when she finds out.

Kate quickly scanned the crowd of people ahead of her. Natalie and Carson Phillips, the man playing Rook, were a few yards ahead of them. Natalie turned at that exact moment and saw them, sent a huge smile their way before turning back to the cameras, nudging Carson slightly and gesturing in their direction. Carson raised an eyebrow at the two of them, and Kate smiles back, watching as Carson laughs knowingly, winking at her before turning back to look at the cameras.

Nearly halfway done the walk, the two were led in front of a crowd of photographers and reporters.

"Are you two finally together?" she heard a reporter yell.

"Are you dating?"

"How long have you been a couple?"

She felt Rick lean into her, his breath tickling her ear as he spoke quickly.

"Quick, I think we've been discovered. And we were being so subtle! Abort, abort!"

She didn't try to stop to smile from spreading across her face. She pulled away from him slightly, to look at him, his eyes positively dancing and she really just couldn't help herself.

He was excited that this was happening - that now he could take her on dates and it wouldn't matter if anyone saw them; that he could hold her hand when they're walking down the street; show everyone just how much he loves her.

She lifted a hand to his cheek, saw his eyes flash in recognition a moment before he smiled at her.

This wasn't the plan. The plan was to show up together and then release the statement after the premiere.

But it didn't really look like he minded.

She leaned up the small distance and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. She heard the people behind her go wild, and she pulled away. She certainly hadn't expected that kind of reaction.

He didn't let her go far though, his hands tight around her waist and she bit her lip as she smiled at him, blushing slightly because he brings out that impulsive side of her – the one that wakes him up at 2 in the morning so she can have her way with him, and goes skinny dipping with him in the Hamptons, and apparently kisses him in front of hundreds of people with cameras.

"I love you," he mouths. He may have actually said it, but she couldn't hear it over the roar of questions being thrown at them.

"How long have you been together?"

"Is this your first official outing as a couple?"

"Are you in love?"

_Yes._


	2. January 14, 2013

**January 14, 2013**

"I'm just saying," Rick said, already pulling on his latex gloves as he stepped out of the car in front of their latest crime scene, "You practically live at my place anyway. Moving in now is just a matter of picking up a few more boxes from your place and putting some stuff in storage."

"Can we please not talk about this at work?" Kate asked, already annoyed. They had just gotten home from a long day at the precinct when they were called right back in for another case. It had been a cold day and she had managed to survive with one of the coats she had at the loft, but with the sun quickly falling below the skyline, the temperature dropped quickly with it, and she knew she'd need a heavier coat to make it through the night without catching hypothermia. So they had to stop by her place before coming to the crime scene so she could pick one up, which prompted the entire discussion about her moving in… again.

It's not that she was against it. She wasn't. They'd been dating for nearly 8 months, and she knew this was where they were going eventually, but he always found the worst possible moments to bring it up: while they're looking at the murder board, at crime scenes, when she's showering and he's shaving in the bathroom sink.

She would gladly talk about this… when they sit down and do it like mature adults. She wants to make sure that this is what they both really want, go to her apartment together and figure out what will go into storage and what they'll pack into the Crown Vic and bring back to the loft. She wants to make sure that it's okay with Martha and Alexis because, yes, Martha had moved into an apartment above her school and Alexis was in her dorm at Columbia but it was still their home too and she needed to make sure it wouldn't make them uncomfortable. She didn't _think_ they'd have a problem with it, but she still wanted to cover all of her bases.

"Fine," he said, throwing up his hands in surrender, "I get it, you don't want to move in…"

She spun around on him, placed her uncovered fingers onto his lips.

"You know that's not it."

Rick shrugged.

Kate sighed. "After this case is over, okay? You'll come over to my place. I'll make you dinner, we'll have some wine, and we'll talk about it."

She watched his eyes light up, his lips curving into a smile against her finger and he kisses them quickly. She pulled her fingers away, smiling at him.

"Now focus," she said sternly, pulling on her glove, "We've got a murder to solve."

She quickly glanced at the front of the warehouse that's their latest crime scene. A crowd had already started forming outside, looking through the broken windows to try and figure out what was going on inside.

Castle lifted the crime scene tape for her and she ducked under it, the two of them breezing past the uniforms guarding the entrance to get to the body.

The warehouse was relatively empty, the walls lined with stacks of old, warped crates and barrels. Kate absently wondered how long they had been sitting there.

She found Lanie hunched over their victim, scrawling notes on her clipboard as the uniforms milled about around her.

"Nice of you to finally show up," Lanie said without looking up.

Kate rolled her eyes, "I had to go to my place to grab a thicker coat."

Lanie looked up, raising an eyebrow at the detective, "You mean… you don't already have all of your coats at writer boy's?"

Rick smirked at her, Lanie unknowingly proving his point from earlier and Kate huffed in annoyance.

"What have you got for me?"

Lanie narrowed her eyes at her best friend before looking down at her notes, gesturing towards the man on the ground.

"White male, cause of death are the two bullets in his chest."

"Do we have an ID?"

At that moment Esposito made his appearance.

"What took you so long, girl?"

"Yeah," Ryan said, coming up behind him, "we were starting to think you got lost or something."

Kate narrowed her eyes and looked back at Castle.

"Did you put them up to this?"

He held up his hands in mock surrender, "I did nothing of the sort."

She didn't entirely believe him, but turned back around to her confused team.

Okay, maybe she did believe him.

"You got an ID?" she asked the boys.

"Yeah, vic's name is Marco Smith, age 29, address listed in the Bronx," Esposito said, "Pocket's searched, money and credit cards are gone but whoever did it left his license."

"No witnesses to the actual shooting," Ryan continued, "But multiple people around the area at the time reported hearing shots fired about an hour ago. They came down here to see what happened, saw the body, called the us. He was dead when we got here. Officers found the murder weapon, a 32, they're testing it for fingerprints as we speak."

"One of the weapons," Lanie corrected, gesturing towards the victim's chest.

"What do you mean?"

Kate squatted down next to the medical examiner, looking at where she was pointing.

"The bullet holes are different sizes," Lanie explains, "This one looks like a 32, but this one looks to me like a 45. I won't know for sure until I get him back to the morgue and can get the bullets."

"So there were two shooters?"

"Unless your man could shoot with two hands..."

"Alright," Kate said, looking up at Ryan and Esposito, "Castle and I are going to go talk to the witnesses again see if they remember seeing two people hanging around here recently, I want you two to talk to uniforms before you go back and start looking at the vic's financials, make them do another sweep. See if they can find the other–"

"GUN!"

It took everyone a second too long to react and the shots quickly came down on them. Kate stood up as quickly as she could, pulling her gun from her waistband.

"Castle! Lanie! Get down!" she heard Esposito yell. Kate was searching for the suspect.

"Kate!"

She turned just in time to see Castle pushing her out of the way. She stumbled as he shoved her, catching herself awkwardly, her ankle twisting painfully underneath her. She heard him grunt as he crashed to the ground beside her, one hand flying out to try and catch himself, the other clenching his side.

"Castle!"

She ran back to his side, gasping at the pain in her ankle before setting herself down between him and the direction the bullet had just come from. She holstered her gun, looking him over. She saw the red pooling underneath his fingers, the panic seeping through her veins.

"I got him!" Esposito yelled, "I got him!"

Kate looked down at the man underneath her, his face crumpled in pain.

"Ryan!" she screamed, "Call a bus! We need a bus. Castle's hit!"

Kate quickly shed her coat, rolling it up into a ball and pushing it against his wounds, sliding his bloody hands out from under it.

He groaned at the pressure.

"I know, I know it hurts, I'm sorry. We'll get you fixed up soon."

"We've got an officer down," she heard Ryan say, rattling off the address of the warehouse quickly to dispatch.

"Everyone else okay?" Esposito called out.

Then she saw the blood on his arm.

She quickly removed his own jacket, apologizing as he groaned, before she placed pressure back on the wound on his side, watching the blood soak through his shirt in two places.

"You were shot twice?" She said, trying to keep her panic under control and failing miserably.

He looked at her, utterly confused before he looked down at his arm.

"Huh," he said, his voice full of wonder, "I didn't even feel that one."

He tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

"No, Rick, open your eyes," he did as she said, moving almost lethargically, "I need you to keep your eyes open."

She felt someone move up beside her.

"You're so beautiful," he said, smiling slightly.

"Tell me how much," she said, desperate to keep him awake. If he was talking, he was conscious.

Conscious was good.

She saw Lanie's hands move in the corner of her eyes, the doctor's hands covering her own and Kate knew it was best to leave it in the doctor's hands. They shifted the hold, and Kate moved up towards Rick's head, brushing his hair off of his forehead.

"So beautiful," he slurred, taking a deep breath, locking eyes with her, "like the sun… or the moon. A siren… completely irresistible. Oh! No, a goddess… Like Aphrodite… no, Athena. She was beautiful. And she fought for… justice. Like you. But you're not a virgin…" she watched as a goofy smile formed on his face, "No… definitely not. Do you remember that one time –"

"Yes, I remember," she said, feeling her cheeks heat up slightly, extremely cognizant that her best friend and fellow partners were standing near them, listening to everything they were saying.

"But I didn't even say –"

"I remember," she said again, staring at him pointedly.

"I like Castle suffering from blood loss," she heard Esposito say behind them, the teasing clear in his voice.

Kate responded without looking.

"Even suffering from blood loss, he's still more eloquent than you, Esposito."

Ryan choked out a laugh somewhere behind her, and Lanie smirked.

"Three minutes for the bus, Boss," Ryan said.

Kate nodded, looking down at her partner.

He reached up one of his shaking hands and grabbed hers. She tried not to cringe at the feeling of his blood on her hands.

"My wrist hurts," he said, grunting as Lanie shifted Kate's jacket over his wound.

She squeezed his hand.

"I know, baby," she murmured one of her hands still combing through his hair, "I know."

_Wait, his wrist?_

His brow furrowed.

"Did you just call me baby?" he mumbled, his eyes starting to slip shut again.

"Nope," Kate said, "you must have imagined it."

He nodded, pursing his lips, his jaw clenched as another round of pain hit him and she heard the tell-tale sound of sirens moving towards them.

"You're gonna be okay, Rick," she said. He let his head fall to the side, rubbing his cheek against her knuckles as they waited for the ambulance to arrive.

XxX

She was sitting in the OR waiting room for over an hour when Martha and Alexis arrived, her head in her hands as she thought about everything that happened.

It hit her in the ambulance that he had just taken a bullet for her. He had pushed her out of the way of a 45 caliber bullet. The bullet that a surgeon was currently pulling from her boyfriend's side was meant for her. And he had been shot _twice._ They weren't sure when the first one happened – no doubt a result of the adrenaline that had burst through his veins when he pushed her to the ground.

He had finally passed out in the ambulance after he had been hooked up to an IV and they took him immediately into the OR on arrival.

He could've died today…

"Kate!"

She looked up from her hands, saw Martha and Alexis rushing towards her. She stood up slowly, wrapping Alexis in a hug as she moved towards her.

It had been a rough start for the two of them. It took all summer for Alexis to finally believe that Kate wouldn't purposefully hurt her father, even after she went back to work in September when her administrative leave was up and Gates refused to accept her resignation. Alexis moved into her dorm at Columbia and the two became closer than they'd been before, meeting up for coffee a few times a month and texting to keep in touch.

She felt Martha put a calm hand on her shoulder, and she looked at the woman, nodding in acknowledgment.

"What happened?" Martha asked, "Kevin called us and told us that Richard had been shot?"

Kate nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat, "A graze on his right arm and an actual shot to the side."

"He was shot _twice?" _Alexis asked incredulously.

Kate squeezed her shoulder, "He said he didn't even feel the graze..." _As if that helps_. "…Doctor said it's not even deep..." _Still not helping. _"…It'll sting for a few days, but no need for stitches."

"And his side?" Martha asked.

"He's in surgery right now to get the bullet out."

Martha nodded, worry clear on her face and Kate could feel the guilt squeezing her veins tightly.

"I'm sorry," Kate started to say quickly, "We had no idea that someone was hiding in one of the crates at the warehouse and he caught everyone off guard and when an officer did see him he just opened fire… I'm so sorry, he was standing next to me and I should have seen it coming. I should have kept him safe -"

"Darling," Martha said patiently, "None of this is your fault."

Kate squeezed her eyes shut, let out a shuddering breath. Alexis unwrapped her arms from around Kate's waist and Martha used the hand on her shoulder to make her sit down again, Martha and Alexis flanking her on both sides.

But it _was_ her fault.

"Are _you _okay?" Alexis asked.

"Just rolled my ankle," Kate said, shrugging it off, "It's fine."

"Have you gotten it looked at?" Martha said.

Kate shook her head.

"Oh Kate…" Martha scolded.

"It's alright," Kate insisted, "It can wait until he's out of surgery."

They were silent for a moment before Alexis spoke.

"Did they get him?" she asked quietly.

Kate nodded, "Esposito and Ryan are interrogating him as we speak. Gates is officially filing the charges."

Martha nodded resolutely.

"Good. That's good."

Kate nodded. If she had seen him she would have put a bullet in _his _side. Or better yet… maybe closer to his chest.

"Family of Richard Castle?"

The three women immediately looked up at the doctor, and stood up, Martha taking point.

"Yes."

The doctor moved forward and shook her hand.

"I'm Dr. Reynolds, his surgeon. He's going to be fine. We were able to remove the bullet in his side," he looked at Kate, her badge gleaming on her hip, "We have preserved it and will turn it over to the police as evidence if need be."

Kate nodded and he continued.

"The bullet missed all major organs, and caused minimal internal bleeding which is excellent news. He also broke his wrist from the impact of hitting the ground, so we've reset the bone and put him in a cast. We've patched him up, given him some antiseptic for the graze on his arm. He is all settled in the recovery room, and should be waking up in a few minutes. I can take two of you back to see him now."

The three looked at each other and Kate took a step back.

"You two go," she said with a smile, "I can wait."

Martha looked like she was about to argue, so Kate sat back down in her seat. She smiled at them.

"Go."

The two women looked at each other before following the doctor back toward the recovery wing.

Kate stood up once the two were out of sight, limping slightly out of the waiting room to call Ryan and Esposito and Lanie to let them know he was okay.

XxX

"This is hell," he said, still groggy from the pain medicine.

It was nearly 8 in the morning, and he had slept since Martha and Alexis had left him the night before around 11. She had stayed with him, falling asleep on the uncomfortable chair by his bedside after they had convinced Martha and Alexis to go home for the night.

"Believe me…" she said, searching for his hand under the sheet, finding it and wrapping her fingers around his own sticking out from his cast, "I know."

She watches his eyes cloud over for a moment, no doubt reliving that painful day for everyone before he looks at her, regret in his eyes.

"God, Kate, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"What I just said… That was so insensitive –"

"Hey," she cut him off, "A bullet is a bullet. Same pain, different place."

She didn't really believe that.

From the look in his eyes, he didn't either.

"No more jumping in front of bullets for me," Kate said seriously.

Rick shook his head.

"Anything to keep you safe," a wave of panic flashed across his eyes, "You are safe, right? You're okay?"

She considered lying to him but knew that he would see right through it.

"I twisted my ankle. Landed on it funny…"

Realization flashed in his eyes.

"When I pushed you?"

Kate nodded once.

He squeezed her fingers as tightly as he could, guilt causing his entire face to fall, "Kate –"

"It's okay, Castle. It's not your fault."

"It's _not_ okay, and it _is_ my fault," he insisted, "I _pushed _you."

"To keep me from getting shot," she reminded.

"And _I _hurt you anyway," he said, his voice rising, "God Kate, I never meant to hurt you."

"I know, Rick," she soothed, "I know."

She moved her chair closer to his side, reached up with her free hand and let her fingers slide under his neck to the hairs at the base of his skull.

It always helped calm him down.

He let out an unsteady breath.

"Did you at least get it looked at?"

Kate bit her lip.

"Kate," he said, and she could hear the pain in his voice.

He leaned over, grunting at the pain in his abdomen as he pushed the call button right beside his bed.

"You're getting that looked at now."

Kate nodded, knowing she wouldn't be able to calm him down any other way, "I was just waiting for you to wake up."

He sighed, tilting his head so he could place a soft kiss on her wrist, a silent moment settling around them as he breathed steadily against her skin, her hands still playing with the hairs on the nape of his neck.

"We're a mess," he said quietly.

Kate let a soft snort burst past her lips.

"Haven't we always been?"

"But hey," he said, trying to make the situation lighter again, "At least now we match."

She rolled her lips against each other, focusing on his fingers tangled with her own.

He's right. They each had their own bullet scar now. Both of them had now been shot in front of the other. Another burden to share together.

"Yeah… I guess we do."

A layer of silence fell over the room for a moment before Rick cleared his throat.

"You know… I'm going to need someone to take care of me during this. Maybe a live-in nurse…"

Kate raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh really?"

He nodded, "I know the perfect person for the job. And then, once I'm all healed, she could just… you know… stay."

"Castle," she deadpanned.

"Yes, Beckett?"

"I'm not moving in with you."

She watched the disappointment cloud over his eyes at being shot down again before she squeezed his fingers lightly.

"Not until you're healthy enough to help me carry all the boxes."

* * *

(For those of you that are waiting for another Chapter of Extra!... I apologize. I'm currently trying to work out the rest of the timeline because I royally screwed it up. I _should_ have something up by the weekend.)


	3. March 5, 2013

**March 5, 2013**

She heard him walk through the door just as she opened up the last box in the loft that contained her books. She stood up from where she was hunched over the box, her ponytail swinging in an arc over her head until it hit her back. She had thrown on a pair of jeans when she woke up alone that morning on one of her rare weekdays off, but was still wearing his Green Lantern t-shirt that she had thrown on before she went to bed with him the night before, the hem of it tucked into the waistband of her jeans.

She looked at him, wearing his black pinstripe suit with the white collared shirt and solid black, silk tie. He looked tired, his bag in one hand, the other holding a carrier with two coffees. He knocked the door shut with his hip.

"Hey," she greeted him, brushing one of the errant pieces of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail away from her face.

He looked up at the sound of her voice and smiled at her.

He moved over towards the kitchen, set his briefcase on the bar and the cups of coffee down next to it. Castle took them out of the carrier, one in each hand, before he made his way into the living room.

"I was hoping you would still be in bed," he said as he moved closer to her, handing her the coffee in his left hand.

She took it and rolled her eyes.

"Castle, it's one in the afternoon."

He shrugged, letting his now free hand trail down the curve of her waist.

"I just have this fantasy…" he said, cocking his head to the side, "… where I come home from these boring meetings talking about my books and then find my muse still lying in bed waiting for me so I can ravish her for the rest of the day."

"Ravish, huh?" Kate said, taking a sip of her coffee.

Castle hummed his affirmation. He wrapped his hand around her waist and used it to close the space between them, pressing a soft kiss against her lips.

"I don't think you're up for any ravishing yet," she said when she pulled away.

"Ka-ate!" he whined, "I'm fine."

"Not until your doctor clears you."

"But it's been 2 months!"

"And you got shot in your abdomen, Rick. You need those muscles to have sex."

"So I'm healthy enough to carry boxes but not to make love to my girlfriend?"

"Rick –"

"You could just –"

"Castle. You have your last appointment next week. Once the doctor clears you then –"

"I can ravish you?" he asked hopefully.

"Or I can ravish you," she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

He looked at her, his eyes widening slightly before he smiled.

"You're the best muse ever," he stage whispered.

"Don't you forget it," she murmured.

He squeezed her side.

"So… since you're obviously not in bed, what have you been doing all morning?"

She looked over at the room, the broken down boxes on the other side of the coffee table, her box of books sitting on top of it.

"Finishing the unpacking," she said with a smile. She nodded towards the open box on the table. "That's the last one."

His eyes sparkled and he put his coffee cup down on the table, bringing his other hand up to wrap both of his arms around her waist.

"So… you're almost officially moved in?"

"After this one."

"So you're here to stay?"

Kate chuckled, "I mean… I guess for a while. Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie would be angry if they had to help me move again. And it would really be a pain to pack up all of this again and I'd have to find another place –"

He growled at her, leaning forward and capturing her smirking bottom lip between his own.

"No more places," he said into his kiss, "Unless it's with me."

"No more places," she agreed, returning his kiss gently.

"What's in it?" he asked, breaking the kiss and cocking his head towards the open box.

"My books."

He nodded, "You mean… all those worn out first edition, hardcover, mystery novels written by Richard Castle?"

She shook her head, trying to fight the blush crawling up her cheeks.

He had a field day when he found them while they were packing up her apartment last week.

"No, I threw all of them out," Kate lied.

"Mhm, I'm sure you did. But you know…" he said, his tone teasing, "… I know a guy. I could probably get you the manuscripts if you wanted them."

"Speaking on manuscripts," she whispered, her hand still not holding her coffee cup trailing up to tug on his tie, "how'd your meetings go?"

He pulled away from her slightly, putting some space in between them. He looked at her and smiled.

"Three."

"Three?"

"Three more," he said, still smiling.

Kate paused for a minute before it hit her, her eyes widening.

"Books?"

He nodded, his smile never leaving his face.

"They were only going to extend it one and see how it went from there, but they loved _Heat of the Moment_ so much that they extended it to three more with, and I quote, 'a possibility of extension after the publication of the third.'"

Kate put her coffee cup on the coffee table next to his and grimaced at him. He looked confused at her response.

"You mean I have to deal with _three more_ _books_? Maybe more?" She sucked in air through her teeth, trying to hide her smile, "Geez, Castle… I don't know if that's going to work for me –"

He wrapped his arms around her, tugging her up into him and she lifted herself up onto her bare toes, hugging him tightly as she laughed.

"Congratulations," she murmured once she had calmed down.

His own arms tightened around her waist and she felt him smile against her neck.

"Couldn't have done it without you," he murmured against her skin, pressing a soft kiss against her neck, "I love you."

She squeezed him a little tighter, "I love you, too."

He pulled away from her neck so he could look at her.

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of that."

"Well that's good because you're not getting rid of me that easily."

He held her against his chest for a moment longer, his cheek resting on top of her head as he breathed her in. She closed her eyes, settling against his chest.

"I like you here," he said holding her tightly.

"You're getting sentimental," she warned.

"Doesn't mean it's not true," he insisted. "I like you here, in the loft, wearing your jeans and my t-shirt. I like your things with mine, and the empty boxes. I like you here, against my chest, with my arms wrapped around you."

Kate looked up at him smiling. She pressed herself back up on her toes, and kissed him lightly.

"We're still not having sex," she said.

He sighed, his shoulders drooping.

"It was worth a shot."

Kate barked out a laugh, letting one of her arms drop from around his neck so she could snake her hand up towards his ear, letting her fingers trail slightly over his lobe.

"Fine," he huffed, "if you won't have sex with me until _the doctor _says it's_ okay_…" he sneered, "… then I propose a toast."

"A toast?"

"A toast."

He pulled away from her and she let her arms fall from around him. He leaned down, grabbed their coffee cups from the table, handed Kate her cup and holding out his own in front of him.

She smiled at his antics, holding out her own cup in a mirror image of him.

"To extended contracts," he said grandly, smiling at her, "and your things next to mine in our home."

They tapped their coffee cups together, the plastic from their lids echoing dully as they each took sips of their quickly cooling coffee.

"Come on," he said, putting his coffee back down on the table, "let's find a space for all of these books and get you finally moved in."

She put her coffee down next to his again and moved over with him towards the box. He opened the flaps wider, and began pulling out her books.

"Do you want to put them in the study?" he said, "We can make some space on the bookshelves?"

"Sounds good," she said. She took the books from his hands and piled them in her arms. She started walking away but then remembered part of the conversation from earlier. She bit her lips to hide her smile before she spun around on her heel and looked at him.

"Hey Castle?"

He looked up from the box, his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah?"

"Remind me when your next meetings are," she said. At his furrowed brow, she smirked.

"I'll make sure I sleep in late for you."

* * *

For everyone who has been waiting for these, I'm sorry. They take a lot more time & thoughts than Extra! posts and I keep skipping around and writing other stories before the others but I want to post them in chronological order and I'm really just a mess, that's all.

(But thank you for being so patient)

(and the real date is March 5, I messed up. Damn I really am a mess...)


	4. September 28, 2013

Remember in an author's note in Extra! when I said I was going to post these in order?  
Well, I've literally been trying to figure out what I've wanted to do for the May articles for 2 weeks now and can't come up with anything and it's super frustrating... so I figured I should update this with what I have or I may never update it again.  
I figured you wouldn't mind.

* * *

**September 28, 2013**

He'd had the ring since last Christmas. He knew he wouldn't propose then, but he had seen it in the store, the round platinum band with the semi-inlaid princess cut diamond with a cushion stone on each side, he knew that it was Kate's ring. He bought it without giving himself a chance to second guess it, took it home, and hid it inside his fire safe where he kept all the important documents like his will and Alexis' birth certificate and social security card.

He'd had the ring the entire time, when she moved in with him, after her mother's case, their trip to India, but he'd never found the right moment to ask her.

Until he had to write the dedication for _Heat of the Moment_.

Big and intimate she'd told him. Women want to be asked in a way that was big yet intimate.

Well it was certainly big, hundreds of thousands of people would be able to see it, but he wouldn't do it that way. The dedication would be something teasing, something to make her brow furrow before he'd ask the real question, somewhere more intimate, more their style.

_To Kate,_  
_Always?_

It was subtle, it was simple, and only she would have the possibility of understanding the true depth of the statement.

And that's when he planned the book launch party. He got Paula in on it, and she helped him plan, helped him keep Black Pawn and the groupies and reporters they wanted try to sneak in out. He shut down the Old Haunt for a night, somewhere they were both comfortable. They invited the gang from the precinct, Jenny, his poker buddies and the mayor. Jim and Alexis were there (not drinking) and his mother was there (definitely drinking).

And everyone knew what was happening except her.

Over the last month, he had gotten everyone's blessing. He'd asked Jim first, stating his intentions though Jim told him he knew of his intentions from the first moment he saw the two of them together. Then he asked his mother and Alexis, both of whom told him that he'd finally found the right one. He asked Ryan and Esposito, and they gave him the go ahead after tearing up in the break room and swearing to never let Beckett know that particular chat had occurred. He'd asked Lanie in the morgue which really had been an awful decision because she nearly dropped her bone saw onto his foot before she said "about damn time". He'd told Gates of his plan, and she told him that since they managed to keep their relationship out of the precinct so far, she didn't see a problem with it (he thinks she even smiled at him). And on a day where he had meetings with Black Pawn, he'd left an hour before he needed to, stopped and picked up two small bouquets of flowers, and stopped at two cemeteries, telling both Montgomery and Johanna Beckett that he was going to ask Kate to marry him, and thanking them both for helping bring her into his life, as the woman who brought her into this world and the man who brought him into the precinct where he slowly fell in love with her.

And now it was here. Everyone was sitting at the Old Haunt, the air warm and buzzing with the conversations of everyone. Brian and his mother were tending bar, the soft jazz playing through the speakers as Martha tried to teach Brian a few dance moves. His fellow writers were talking with Captain Gates (he was still surprised she had come) and Paula in a booth in the corner, nursing glasses of his best scotch. Alexis, Jenny, Ryan, and Esposito were playing pool on the table he had brought in, the ladies laughing as Ryan and Esposito tried making trick shots. Kate and Lanie were sitting at the bar, Kate dressed in those dark jeans he loved so much and a black blouse he loved even more because of the deep, draped u in the back that showed off her bare spine, laughing while waiting for their drinks. He was sitting with Jim in a booth, barely listening to the older man tell a story as he watched the two women, the ring heavy in his pocket.

He was nervous, more nervous for this than he had been for anything else in his entire life. He married Meredith because she was pregnant with his child. He married Gina essentially for business reasons, and yes, he loved them both in a way but he wanted to marry Kate purely because he loved her. He didn't care that it would help his book sales (as Paula kept pointing out). He wanted to marry her because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

And that was daunting. Never had marriage sounded so permanent.

"Nervous?"

He looked over at Jim who was smiling at him knowingly.

Rick nodded, taking a sip of his ginger ale he had been drinking with Jim.

"Extremely."

Jim picked up his own soda and took a drink.

"Don't be…" Jim said, smirking in humor, "haven't you done this before?"

They'd hashed out his past early on in their relationship at Castle's urging. So much so that Jim was now comfortable joking about it.

_Any man_, Jim had said,_ that makes my daughter smile like she has been can't be that bad, no matter what his past says._

"But never for the right reasons," Rick said earnestly, "and never with Kate. Besides… this one will be pretty embarrassing if she says no."

Jim smiled and reached out, patting his arm once.

"She's not going to say no."

He knew that, too.

He looked over at her, and found her smiling over her shoulder at the two of them, her eyes shining before Lanie got her attention and she laughed at something she said.

He took a deep breath, downed the last of his ginger ale and stood up, holding the empty glass in his hand and held out his right to Jim.

"Jim," he said, shaking the older man's hand, "I do believe it's time."

Jim smiled at him, motioning for him to go forward.

He walked slowly towards the bar, seeing the knowing smiles of everyone he passed until he reached Kate at the bar. He put his hand on her bare back, leaning down and kissing her softly on the cheek.

"Having fun?"

She turned to him, and nodded.

Rick stood in front of his bar, nodding at Brian who turned down the music in response. He cleared his throat, grabbing a metal stirrer from behind the bar and tapping it against his glass, getting everyone's attention.

"Everyone," he projected, "if you'll give me a moment?"

He watched as everyone stood up and made their way over towards them, Lanie stepping back slightly, smiling over Kate's shoulder. When everyone was gathered around him, he took a deep breath.

"I just wanted to take a moment and thank you all for coming tonight. I know it's not up to the typical best-selling author standards," Patterson, Lehane, Dennis, and Conrad chuckled lightly, "but I wanted this night to be special. You all have helped me make this book what it is, whether it was the friendly competition," he nodded towards the writers, "locking me in my office and forcing me to write like a good parent does," he smiled at Alexis and everyone chuckled, "or just being awe-inspiring people," he glanced to everyone from the Twelfth, reaching out and grabbing Kate's hand, "I can never thank you all enough."

He squeezed Kate's hand in his own and took a deep breath.

"So… as I'm sure you all would agree…" Rick said, looking at everyone around the bar. He noticed people had their phones out, his daughter surreptitiously taking pictures or a video on her phone.

Good girl. She'd need to send those to him.

"It's only right…" he continued, pulling Kate off of her barstool towards him in front of the crowd of their family and friends, "… that the inspiration get the first copy of the book."

She looked at him suspiciously and then someone wolf-whistled. He thinks it was Esposito and Kate spun around and glared at him and Rick was happy that they were helping to try and throw her off of his trail.

He felt someone nudge him, looked back to see Jim Beckett holding out the book to him with a smile and Rick could hardly keep his hand from shaking as he took it because the man just handed over his marriage proposal to his daughter with a _smile_ and he was happy for the two of them.

Rick dropped Kate's hand and handed her the first copy of _Heat of the Moment_, bowing dramatically.

"My lady."

She took a step closer to him as he stood up and kissed him lightly, Ryan and Esposito awing dramatically in the background when she pulled away smiling, her cheeks slightly pink.

Castle knew her well, and the first thing she did after running her hand over the cover, was flip to the dedication page. While her eyes were focused on the page, he took a slight step back from her and dropped down onto one knee, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

He watched her brow furrow at the words on the page, reading them no doubt for the second or third time. She looked up to where he was before, the lines on her face deepening. She looked around for him before looking down at the ground, her eyes widening and he swore they looked slightly shinier than before.

"Oh my god," she gasped, still clutching his book against her stomach. She tried to turn away but Lanie was right behind her, pushing her back towards him. He smiled at her reaction, knowing that he had succeeded in surprising her.

He reached out with his right hand and coaxed her left off of the book and held it in his own.

"Kate," he said, quietly, his own voice shaking but he smiled all the same, "You've captivated me ever since the first day I met you. Every day I find something else about you that makes me wonder, something that drives me crazy…" Kate chuckled, "… but it only makes me love you more. I didn't plan on falling in love with you when you walked into my book party all those years ago, but I can't imagine a single day without you by my side anymore. Every future I can write has you in it –"

"Will you just ask me?" Kate said quickly, tears streaming steadily down her face, her face pink.

He looked around at their friends, sighing dramatically. He lifted her hand in his own and pouted.

"I can't even propose to her without having her knock me down a few pegs?"

Everyone laughed and he looked back up at her, his own eyes shining.

"I love you," he said, squeezing her hand.

"I love you, too," she said softly.

He cleared his throat.

"Katherine Beckett…" he said, digging a hand into his pocket. He pulled out the ring and she inhaled deeply, as if none of this had been real until she saw the round metal ring of platinum and diamonds in his hand that he knew would sit perfectly on her finger.

He had thought about what he wanted to say at this moment for months. He could go with humor, ask her to let him be Mr. Katherine Beckett. He could go sentimental and ask if she would allow him to be her one and done, his third times a charm, but didn't feel that it was right. He thought about asking her for always like he had done with his proposal in his book but he didn't want there to be any question of what he was asking, what he wanted. He didn't want her to have any doubt of his intentions (as if it wasn't already obvious enough).

"… Will you marry me?"

She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath before opening her eyes again and nodding.

"Yes."

He looked at her, a large smile on his face.

"Really?"

She laughed, happy tears still streaming down her cheeks, "Really."

He slid the ring onto her finger, bringing her knuckle to her lips and kissing the ring, _her _ring, once before he stood up.

Their friends were all clapping, smiling and crying and happy for them but he wasn't paying attention. At some point she must have dropped _Heat of the Moment_ or someone had taken it from her hands, but as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her up towards him, one of her arms wound around his neck, her other hand, her left hand, pressed against his cheek. He smiled as he kissed her, his arms tightening around her waist, lifting her up off the ground and bending backwards because she just wasn't close enough to him.

His fiancée.

His future wife.

His head was spinning at the thought.

She said _yes_.

* * *

**September 29, 2013**

"Wait, did you just say 'all of our family and friend's blessing'? What do you mean?" Kate asked suspiciously.

It was early afternoon and they were lying in bed, Rick with his laptop out, Kate next to him on her stomach in only his t-shirt and her underwear, already halfway through _Heat of the Moment_. His Twitter account had been blowing up since the public got their hands on the book, with questions about the dedication and what it meant. He was so excited and she knew that they wouldn't be able to keep it a secret for long, so she told him he could do the big reveal how he wanted to, and he wanted to be the one to write the statement for his website.

He was annoying her, purposefully distracting her by reading what he was writing out loud because what he really wanted was for them to write it together but she refused to put his book down.

He would tease her about that if he wasn't so damn happy.

"Exactly what it says," he responded cryptically.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but let it go, turning back to her book and continued to read. He smiled, and continued to narrate.

"… _For the first time since I met her over five years ago, I think I managed to truly surprise her, and she (thankfully) said yes"_

She smirked at him, lifting her hand from her book and staring at the sparkling ring with a smile_._

"You really did," Kate whispered, "It was perfect."

He let his hand drift from the keyboard, running his hand up her t-shirt covered spine in affection.

"… _We are both incredibly happy," _he continued, _"… and look forward to our future together."_

She went back to reading, so he continued, smirking as he typed the statement.

"… _As I look at her sitting beside me, reading _Heat of the Moment_ for the first time as I write this, my ring on her finger, I feel so lucky that I was given the chance to meet her, know her, and fall hopelessly in love with her, and even more blessed that this beautiful woman, for all that I've put her through, miraculously loves me back…"_

Kate snorted, looking up from the book.

"Please tell me you didn't just write that."

"Why not?" he said, "it's true."

"Take it out, Castle," she said, marking her page and closing the book, "it's too sappy."

He moved his laptop off of his knees and onto his nightstand, reached out once his hands were free and wrapped his fingers around her hips, tugging her across the bedspread towards him.

"You better get used to it," he said, rolling her over. He shifted from his seated position, moving so he was lying down, hovering over her.

"And why is that?" she said, her eyes darkening slightly.

He leaned down, ran his nose along her cheekbone, down the side of her face to her jaw, breathing her in. His hands ran down her sides, inched underneath the fabric of her t-shirt and up her abdomen, smiling as she arched into his touch. Her legs fell open slightly and he took the invitation, wedging his thigh between hers as he pressed a soft kiss against her throat.

"Because you said yes."

* * *

I went back and added the dedication in there... but I said it in Extra!...


	5. February 13, 2014

**FEBRUARY 13, 2014**

She tried to sneak out of bed that morning. They had just closed up their case the evening before and she was due to be at the precinct at 8 that morning for a long, boring day of paperwork. Even being engaged hadn't changed the fact that Castle wouldn't stick around and do paperwork with her and he could definitely have a few more hours of sleep until he had to get up and go to his meetings with Black Pawn. She'd kept him up late the night before, and she knew how much he enjoyed his sleep, so she wanted to let him have it. It was a rare luxury for both of them.

Hopefully they wouldn't catch a case today so she'd be able to end the night early. He expected his meetings to go until late, so she would go home, maybe stop at the store on the way, surprise him with dinner. Yes, she liked that plan. Oh, or better yet, maybe she'd wait for him in bed like he told her he thought about last year.

Maybe she'd do both. Leave him something to eat on the counter and then be waiting for him in their room.

He had told her that he had plans for her on Valentine's Day, so she would surprise him the night before. She smirked to herself. He'd never see it coming.

"Kate?"

She looked over at the bed as she tugged up her jeans. His tired eyes were watching the slide of her hips as shimmied into her jeans and she smiled at him.

"Hey," she said softly, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"What time is it?" he mumbled, bringing a hand up to rub at his eyes. She decided she could spare a few moments, moving over and settling on the bed beside him.

"7:15," she said, moving her hand to run her fingers across his brow, swiping his hair off of his forehead.

He groaned and Kate laughed quietly, smirking at him.

"You can go back to sleep…"

"No," he grunted, shifting on the mattress, his eyes closed once again, "I'm up now."

"Sure you are…" she patted his cheek lightly, before standing up.

"I am," he said, rolling out of bed with a grunt. He stood in front of her, his naked chest pressed against her barely clothed one. He reached out and tugged on her waist with his hands, bringing their hips together, "Can't you feel it?"

She could.

She bit her lip. The quicker she could get into work, the quicker she could get home to surprise him.

"Castle... I can't. I really have to go to work."

His hands moved to the front of her jeans, ignoring her protests, popping open the button with skilled fingers.

She slapped his hands away, laughing slightly.

"Tonight," she said, "I'll make it up to you after you get back from your meetings."

He sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to win this argument. He linked his fingers around her belt loops, tugging her closer to him again and buttoning her jeans for her.

"Fine," he mumbled teasingly, "Tonight. But you better make it worth my while…"

"Hm…" she said, "Don't I always?"

"You do," he answered, running his hands up and down her bare sides, "You always do."

Rick leaned down, pressed a soft kiss against her lips.

"Good morning."

"Morning," she said against his lips.

"Finish getting ready," he said, "I'll get your coffee for you."

She kissed him once more, "Sounds wonderful."

They moved in separate directions, Kate moving towards the bathroom and Castle grabbing a pair of sweatpants from his dresser drawer, tugging them up over his hips as he moved through his office to the kitchen. Kate finished getting ready, washing her face and brushing her teeth before doing her make-up skillfully. She used her curling iron to touch up her hair before moving back into the bedroom towards the large walk-in closet. She picked out a red, oxford blouse, putting it on and buttoning all but the top two buttons. She leaned down, picked up a pair of black platform pumps that she knew made her legs look so much longer than they actually were and slid them on her feet. She threw a quick glance in the full length mirror on the back of the door, fixing her hair as she checked to make sure her outfit worked. Satisfied, Kate grabbed her phone from where it was charging on her nightstand and put it in her back pocket, picked up her engagement ring and her watch from the dish on the table and put them on. Kate moved out of the bedroom, leaving the door open behind her as she moved to the safe in his office. Unlocking it quickly, she grabbed her gun and her badge, tucking them both into the waistband of her jeans as she moved through the doorway and into the kitchen.

He turned at the sound of her heels moving across the floor, looked her up and down as she walked up to him, before he opened up his arms to her, inviting her into his embrace. She went willingly, placing a soft kiss on his lips

"Mm," he hummed into her kiss, "you know how much I love you in these heels…"

Kate smiled, "Just giving you something to think about while you're in your meetings all day."

"Are you sure you don't have a case?" he said, pulling away from her.

She leveled a glare at him, "No, it's just paperwork. And no, I will not pretend to have a case to get you out of your meetings. Go do your job."

"But they're so boring!" he complained, his shoulders sagging slightly and Kate had to bite back a smile.

"You'll live."

She walked away from him, moving over to the hall closet and grabbing her black peacoat off the hanger. She buttoned it but before she could move to fix her hair Castle was already there. She turned around as he swiped the hair out from under her collar. He held out her travel mug with a smile. She took it, taking a quick sip, letting the coffee soak into her taste buds.

"Perfect," she said, looking up at him with a smile, "thank you."

"Of course," he said, softly, "I love you."

"Love you, too," she murmured, closing the small distance between their lips and kissing him softly, "I'll see you tonight."

"See you tonight," he mumbled against her lips. He kissed her once more before moving to hold the door open for her. She walked through after grabbing her keys and tucking them into the pocket of her coat, smiling over her shoulder before walking towards the elevator.

The elevator arrived on their floor quickly and she got inside, hitting the button for the lobby. She greeted the doorman and he smiled back at her.

"Have a good day, Detective Beckett."

She wished him the same before walking out onto the street, intending to take a cab.

She paused on the street, pursing her lips.

The traffic was moving nicely, and on the off chance that she did get a case she wanted to make sure she had her car. Oh, and she had to go to the store afterwards. Yeah… she definitely needed to drive herself today.

She shook her head at herself for forgetting her plan already, and moved towards the building's parking garage.

Kate walked into the darkened space, down the slope from street level to the underground level where her Crown Vic was parked, her heels echoing against the concrete. She could see her car, and took another swig of her coffee, smiling at how Castle somehow managed to get it perfect every single time he made it.

She heard footsteps coming towards her too late, the heavy footfalls echoing quickly throughout the small space.

An arm crossed in front of her face and before she could react, a hand came down over her face, covering her mouth and nose, the other holding something sharp against her back, forcing all of her weight behind her. She dropped her coffee and staggered back, losing her balance momentarily before she steadied herself. She thrashed against her attacker for a moment, feeling the point of the sharp object – a knife, she realized, slide across the back of her coat. Kate threw her head back, the back of her skull crashing into her attacker's nose. The man lurched at the impact and the knife in his hand jerked, slicing through her coat and into her side. She cried out against his palm, grimacing through the pain as she threw an elbow into his stomach. He moved away from her slightly and she spun around in his arms, grabbing hold of his wrists to try and throw him off of her, the knife still in his hands.

They grappled for a moment and while she may have had the training, her attacker had the advantage of sheer size on her. He was a little taller than Castle, definitely wider, and knew how to handle someone that was thrashing against them. She looked down at the ground, her head spinning at the sight of the blood on the ground.

Was she really bleeding that much?

She felt a sharp pain in her neck and tensed up against the man in front of her, before her hands fell away from his wrists, her knees giving out from under her, and everything went black.

* * *

It was almost 10 when Ryan and Esposito started to get really worried.

They both knew that Beckett liked to get in early to do paperwork, she always had. When they both rolled in at around 9 that morning, they were surprised that Beckett wasn't already there plowing through her paperwork with a cup of coffee in hand.

They looked at each other and rolled their eyes though, just assuming that Castle had managed to convince her to stay in bed a little while longer.

Ryan and Esposito grimaced in time with each other at the image of mom and dad in bed together before sitting down and beginning their own paperwork.

The precinct began to fill up with uniforms and fellow Detectives who had cases, but Beckett never walked through the door. The two spent the hour shooting nervous glances at her empty desk.

"We should just call her," Ryan said, "See if she's alright."

Esposito scoffed, "I'm sure she's fine…" he shot another look at her empty chair, "… but I guess it wouldn't hurt."

Ryan already had his phone out, scrolling through his recent calls list to find Beckett's number, putting his cell phone up to his ear.

"Javi…" Ryan said a moment later, "it went straight to voicemail."

"She probably just hung up on you," Esposito smirked.

But Ryan was already punching away at his computer, and he turned back to Esposito.

"Her phone's off…" he furrowed his brow, "… Beckett never turns her phone off."

Esposito felt his gut start to twist, the same moment his desk phone started to ring.

He picked it up, holding his hand over the mouth piece and looking at Ryan.

"Track her car."

He didn't wait for a response before he answered his phone.

"Detective Esposito."

"Detective? My name is Adrian Brush, I'm calling to report a crime scene."

"Mr. Brush, is there a body?"

"No, but there's blood in the parking garage."

"Unfortunately Mr. Brush," Esposito said distractedly, watching Ryan pull up the GPS tracking information on her car, "Unless there's a body and it can be ruled a homicide there's nothing we can -"

"This is the Twelfth Precinct, is it not?"

Esposito felt his stomach begin to sink again.

"Yes…"

"And you work with Detective Beckett?"

"Yes," Esposito said firmly.

"I'm sorry I didn't say that earlier. I'm the landlord at an apartment building. Detective Beckett and Richard Castle are two of my tenants. We believe the spots are blood, though we don't know for sure, and they start in the center of the garage away from the entrance…"

"Mr. Brush, what does this have to do with Detective Beckett?"

"The spots lead to a parking space before they disappear completely. I've tried to get in contact with Mr. Castle," the man said hurriedly, "but he's not picking up his phone."

Esposito took a deep breath, "Mr. Brush –"

"It's Detective Beckett's spot, Detective Esposito. And her car isn't there."

"Javi, the GPS has been disabled on her car," Ryan said.

"Mr. Brush, keep everyone out of the parking garage. We're on our way."

Esposito hung up his desk phone and pulled out his cell phone, looking at Ryan.

"They found blood in Castle's parking garage that leads to Beckett's empty parking spot. I'm calling dispatch to meet us there. Go tell Gates. Beckett's missing."

* * *

It was noon when Rick finally got a chance to stand up from his first meeting. They were taking a lunch break, and he stood up, adjusting his suit jacket for a moment, stretching out his back.

He froze at the number of missed calls before panic started to settle into his stomach.

Something had happened.

He quickly scrolled through the 57 missed calls since around 10 this morning. Some were from his landlord, but most were from Ryan and Esposito, even a few from Gates.

None from Kate.

Hm, that was odd.

Unless…

His stomach dropped.

_Oh no_.

He nearly dropped his phone in his haste, calling back the most recent number on the list. It rang only once before

"Castle?" Ryan said.

"Yeah, Ryan, it's me. What's going on?"

There was a pause on the other side of the line.

"Ryan –"

"Beckett never showed up for work this morning."

Rick felt like the rug had been pulled out from under him.

"No, of course she did..." he denied, "… She left around 7:30. I made her coffee to go."

"Your landlord found blood in the parking garage earlier this morning…" Ryan said softly, "…And a travel mug on the ground. There's a trail… it leads to Beckett's spot."

Rick couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had taken a cab that morning, hadn't even walked towards the parking garage.

Paula walked up behind him noticing the stiffness in his shoulders. He flinched at her touch, not even realizing that everyone was staring at him.

"Ryan where's her car?"

Another pause.

"Kevin –"

"We don't know."

He felt his knees start to shake.

"Can't you track it?" He said, panic starting to creep into his voice.

"GPS is disabled."

"And what about her phone?"

"It's turned off."

He was going to be sick.

" – We're at the precinct looking at traffic cams but there was a power outage last night that knocked most of them out and they're still not up. Lanie's running the blood samples for us right now. We should know in about an hour if it's hers."

_Hers… her blood._

"Kevin, tell me this is a joke," he said desperately, knowing that he couldn't stop the emotion from choking him, permeating into his voice, "Tell me you're bored doing paperwork and I will forgive you right now I swear just tell me you're lying. Tell me she's sitting right next to you."

He heard Ryan swallow.

"Ricky," he heard Paula say quietly, "is everything alright?"

But he wasn't listening to her.

"Castle, I'm sorry…" Ryan said softly, sounding desperate himself, "We don't know where she is."

* * *

Lanie came up to the precinct just before 1:30 that afternoon, the results from the blood test clenched in her hands. The boys were sitting at their desks, trying to look calm, but clicking furiously away at their computers. Castle was sitting in his chair with his head in his hands, a uniform pulled up in front of him taking his statement of what he knew.

She could only imagine how he was feeling right now. And he would undoubtedly be suspect. Lanie mentally scoffed. Castle would rather hurt himself than ever hurt Kate.

At the sound of the elevator dinging shut, all three sets of eyes snapped up to look at her. Esposito stood up quickly, moving towards her. When he reached her, he put his hand on her shoulder lightly. They were trying to keep their relationship quiet again, but she couldn't take it. She wrapped her arms around his waist quickly, waiting for him to squeeze her back tightly before she pulled away. She felt her face crumple.

"It's hers," she said, softly, trying to bite back the tears, "It's her blood."

Gates walked out of her office.

Lanie tried to compose herself, stepping away from Javier slightly.

"There… there was another sample there though. Preliminary results suggests that it's from a white male, but it's not in the system."

Can't be Castle. His blood was catalogued in the system when he first started working with Kate. She saw his shoulder's sag in relief.

Good, one less thing for him to worry about.

"Dr. Parrish," Gates said, "Are you sure this is correct?"

Lanie nodded, "I've never been wrong before."

Gates nodded, "Then that settles it..." She looked at her watch, "It is 1:30 PM on February 13th and I am officially reporting Detective Beckett missing. I want all hands on deck. Ryan, Esposito, go to the apartment building and look for more details. See if their security cameras were functional after the power outage. Mr. Castle, I want you to stay here and think if there is anyone that would want to hurt you or Detective Beckett. Look through old case files. It won't be a prisoner, but look for people who specifically felt they were being treated unfairly, and look at their family and friends, "Beckett is a well-known member of the NYPD, so I'm taking this to the media tonight."

She walked back into her office, presumably to work on a statement that she would release to the media tonight. Javier squeezed Lanie's shoulder once again before grabbing his coat and walking towards the elevator with Ryan.

Lanie looked over and saw Rick, his phone cradled in his hand. She walked over slowly.

"I have to call Jim," he said, sounding empty, "I have to call her father and tell him that she's been taken…"

Lanie reached down, put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly, mimicking what Javier had just done for her.

"We're going to find her, Castle."

When he didn't respond, she furrowed her brow. She tilted her head to the side, looking at him critically, the guilt seeping out of every pore in his body.

"This isn't your fault, you know."

"Isn't it?" he said, anger flaring up in his words, "I go to work with her every morning. The one day in _months_ that I haven't been with her and she goes missing? That means the man who did this was watching us, watching her – waiting for me to leave her alone."

"You couldn't have known," Lanie insisted, "No one saw this coming."

"But I should have! God Lanie, I'm supposed to protect her! She's my fiancée, my _partner… _And she was kidnapped from our _home _when I was only 5 floors above her –"

"You need to calm down," Lanie said, moving around to stand in front of him. "You need to calm down for _her_. You're going to go call her dad and tell him before he hears it on the news, and I'm going to go get one of those cute uniforms to help me get all of her case files," she said, trying to lighten the mood and failing miserably, "and then… we're gonna find the fool who thought he was smart enough to get away with taking our girl."

* * *

She felt a pain at the cut in her side and she hissed.

"Sorry," a voice murmured.

She looked down and the face near her ribs, the man who had kidnapped her from her parking garage.

"I didn't mean to cut you."

The odd thing was… she believed him. She looked at his face, so much younger than she had expected him to be, his size seriously misleading. He was big, not really overweight but still big enough that his size alone was intimidating. His nose wasn't bloody anymore, maybe not broken like she had intended it to be but certainly bruised to the point where it wouldn't heal fully for a week or two.

He held up a bottle of peroxide, a class ring glittering on his finger.

He was in high school?

"It's just some peroxide… Wanted to try to keep it from getting infected."

Kate swallowed, her brow furrowed.

This isn't how people who kidnap others from parking garages threat their captures.

Unless they wanted ransom.

Okay, so the kid needed money. Maybe he had a sick parent he needed to take care of, some hospital bills, college to pay for. Rick would pay anything to get her back.

But then why would he chain her to a table? And loosely at that. She pulled on her arms, feeling the manacles cut into her wrists once the slack in the chain tightened. She let her wrists fall back onto the table, the chains holding her there landing noisily underneath. She could feel her senses coming back to her and the rocking of the ground underneath her meant that she couldn't be on land. She was on a boat? It didn't make sense. If you were going to kidnap someone for ransom, you keep them somewhere isolated enough where no one could find them, yes. But you also chose a space where you could easily get away from them when the cavalry arrived. Even if you killed the person, you wanted to be as far away from them as you could possibly be - somewhere you could get the money and disappear as quickly as possible.

You couldn't do that if your captive was on a boat with you. There's nowhere to run except the water.

"What's your name?" Kate said groggily, trying to make her senses come back to her quicker. She needed to figure out what was going on.

The boy looked up at her, flinching away from her gaze and focusing on the cut on her side, dabbing some peroxide on a rag and wiping at it. She flinched slightly at the pain, but kept her jaw clenched.

"Daniel," he said quietly, running the rag over her wound again.

Kate took a deep breath.

"How old are you?"

"Just turned 18 two weeks ago," he murmured, taking less time to answer.

"Why are you doing this, Daniel?" Kate asked quietly.

He paused momentarily in his first aid, before exhaling unsteadily.

"Because she wants me to."

She had been fighting with him when she had felt the pain in her neck and blacked out. It couldn't have been him, his wrists were trapped in her hands. Which means that someone else had been waiting for her in the parking garage.

"Who is she, Daniel?"

He wouldn't meet her gaze anymore, instead focusing on her side.

"My mother."

"Your mother?"

He shivered.

"Yes."

"Why?" Kate asked trying to keep the horror out of her voice. Assuming he's telling the truth, what mother would have her son kidnap someone at knifepoint?

He shivered again, "I don't know."

Kate didn't believe him, and she was about to tell him so when she heard a door open from somewhere above her. She looked up and a switch was flicked, filling with the small room with light. She could see a woman standing at the top of the steps. She was slight, had light brown hair. She wore dark skinny jeans, a fitted, long sleeve, red shirt, and a pair of black pumps.

She was dressed like her.

_What the -_

"Oh good, she's awake," the woman said clapping once, excited, before she collected herself. She moved down the stairs slowly, her eyes never leaving Kate. Kate sensed Daniel moving away from her, but she refused to look away from the woman, staring defiantly at the woman she assumed drugged her. The woman lifted a box up off the ground, ignoring her stare, and put it on a low lying table next to the one Kate was lying on, opening it up.

She pulled out a knife, and Kate somehow kept her gaze from wavering, though she couldn't help the way she tried to shift further away from the knife. With the knife clenched in her fist, the woman, Daniel's mother? backhanded her across the cheek and Kate could instantly feel the blood start pooling in her mouth.

In Kate's moment of distraction, the woman ran the knife up under the hem of Kate's blouse, effectively ripping it open.

"Now the fun can begin."

_She was in trouble._

* * *

(1/3)


	6. February 14, 2014

(should I post a warning that this contains descriptions of torture and verbal abuse?  
That seems like the right thing to do.)

* * *

**February 14, 2014**

By six in the morning, they still hadn't come up with anything. The boys hadn't been able to get any usable security tape footage the night before, the main camera being knocked out by the storm. They were told that there was another set, a backup connected directly to a generator stored on some obscure hardware that they needed their tech person to retrieve, and he was out of town, visiting his wife's family in the UK. They called him and explained the situation, and he hopped on the first available flight home. He would get it for them as soon as he got home.

So Ryan and Esposito had come back to join them all at the precinct after doing another sweep of the crime scene. Castle had called Black Pawn and gotten them to send over all of his fan mail from the past few months, and he and Lanie were going through that while Ryan and Esposito looked over case files.

They had been up all night, gone through espressos after espressos and cups of the precincts old, stale coffee and they had nothing. They had released the information to the press, and had gotten nothing.

_Nothing._

It made him angry, furious that people would sit around and do nothing when he wanted and needed to do everything at once. He needed to bring her back to him, bring her home, alive.

He needed to boost the signal.

If there was ever a time where he should be able to use his name without feeling guilty about it, it was definitely then.

He sat up straighter, looking at his watch before glancing at the others.

"Gates said we could take this to the media, right?"

Esposito looked up and nodded, "She thinks that there's a better chance of finding her that way… Why?"

Castle was already scrolling through his phone, looking at his contacts.

"I know someone who owes me a favor."

* * *

"Hello, I'm Robin Roberts and welcome back to Good Morning America this Valentine's Day. Before we get to our next segment on last minute Valentine's Day dinner idea, we have a guest whom we all know that has a very important message to share with you all this morning. Richard Castle, New York native and best-selling author of the now popular _Nikki Heat _novels –"

He sat there, sliding his fingers along the edge of the photograph in his hands and the notecard with all the things he couldn't allow himself to forget while Robin Roberts talked him up, still wearing his slacks from yesterday. His leg was shaking, and he wasn't sure if it was from the caffeine overload from the night before or the nerves but he tried desperately to relax.

He didn't get nervous often, especially not giving statements or anything like that… but this? This was everything. Never before had something so vital been riding on a few sentences written by him. This paragraph he had to say could cost him everything.

Gates thought it might help, and the producer had given him the okay as soon as he had explained the situation, now he just had to pull it off.

Robin looking over at him, and Rick knew he had to speak.

"Thank you, Robin. Early yesterday afternoon, Detective Katherine Beckett of the NYPD, my partner, and…" he choked on the word, "… fiancée, was officially reported missing. She was taken from the parking garage of our building. She was last seen at approximately 7:45 AM yesterday morning after she left for work. She has brown hair, hazel eyes, and is approximately 5 feet, 7 inches tall without heels on. She was wearing a red button up shirt, dark washed skinny jeans, and a pair of black patent leather heels -" God he loves those shoes, "- at the time she went missing. She was also carrying her gun, badge, wearing a man's watch, and… and her engagement ring…" he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, before taking a deep breath and continuing.

"I am personally offering a $10,000 reward to anyone who can provide any useful information regarding the disappearance of Detective Beckett. If anyone in the New York area has seen this woman -" he held up the photograph, one of their engagement photos. His favorite one, with her walking in front of him with a smile on her face, holding his hand, his own expression awestruck and totally devoted, "- Or have seen a Navy Blue, unmarked, Crown Victoria with the tags AXA 2496, I urge you to call the official hotline that has been set up at 917-475-0070 immediately…" he paused for a moment, knowing that his official statement was over but unable to let it end like that. He looked straight at the camera, knowing that his eyes were undoubtedly red rimmed, whether from the unshed tears or sleep deprivation he wasn't sure, and took a deep breath.

"Please," he said, taking another deep breath to try and control his voice, failing miserably as his voice cracked, "We just want her home."

* * *

Kate quickly realized that the reason someone who intends to torture you would put you on a boat is because there's no one around to hear you scream.

She thinks she passed out somewhere around 3 in the morning from the punches to her stomach.

When she woke up again, the sun was up, and she was gagged and no longer wearing her jeans, couldn't feel the weight of her watch on her wrist.

A little while later she realized why there was some slack in her chains.

Apparently it was more fun for her to watch her victims try to get away.

She thinks she passed out again around noon.

* * *

Esposito slammed down the phone and Castle sunk back in his chair, disappointment causing his shoulders to slouch.

"Another one?" Ryan asked.

Esposito nodded, walking back over towards the murder board turned abducted board, his mouth pressed into a hard line.

The line had been ringing off the hook since his Good Morning America statement earlier that morning, but none of the leads had panned out. They had three uniforms working the hotline and a line connected to Esposito's desk, but everyone was just looking for the money or expressing their condolences.

Nothing useful. Just wasting their time.

Rick was ready to pull his hair out.

Esposito's phone rang again and he sighed. This time, Ryan stood up, moving over towards the desk and picked up the phone.

"Detective Ryan… Yes, this is the hotline… And what's the license plate number? Uh huh. Where did you say you saw it?" Ryan picked up a pen and scratched something down on a scrap piece of paper, "And what's your name, ma'am?... Ma'am?... Hello?" He pulled away from the phone, and looked down at it before putting it back on the cradle.

"Well?" Esposito said.

"A woman from the area says she thinks she saw Beckett's car on an abandoned, industrial pier," he held up a little slip of paper, "this is the address. Guys… I think this one is solid."

"Why?" Castle asked.

"When I asked for her name, you know, for the reward? She wouldn't give me it. She just said, 'I hope you find her soon,' and then hung up."

Esposito moved over toward his desk so he could grab his coat.

"Sounds like a lead to me," he said, "Castle, you comin' bro?"

* * *

It was her car.

As soon as they pulled up to the pier they knew it was her car and they called CSU immediately. While they waited, they put on their own pair of gloves and started their own search.

They found blood in the trunk and in the backseat, and an empty syringe in the on the floorboards of the driver side behind the brake pedal.

Castle's head was spinning, looking at her blood in the trunk of her car, the evidence left behind of what happened to her. He looked out towards the water, his gaze catching on a small black object towards the end of the pier.

Castle squinted, trying to figure out what the object was on the end of the pier, moving towards it slowly. He quickened his pace as he got closer to the black shape. He froze once he got a clear view of it.

It was a shoe.

_Her shoe._

Oh god he felt sick.

He heard footsteps coming closer to him but he didn't look back, instead staring at her shoe, his heart beating faster as his stomach twisted into knots.

She was here.

She was somewhere on the river.

Or in the river.

He was going to throw up.

_No, no, don't think like that. She's alive. _

_She has to be._

"Castle?" he heard Ryan say.

He nodded, "It's hers. These are my favorite pair of her shoes. She wore them yesterday to tease me..."

The boys didn't say anything right away.

They heard the sound of a car engine shut off, the sound of doors opening and closing.

Ryan looked over his shoulder.

"CSU is here."

"I'm going to call Gates," Esposito said, already pulling out his phone, "Have her contact the Coast Guard and get a no boating zone and a team out here on the water."

As he walked away, Ryan shifted awkwardly on his feet.

"We're going to find her, Castle," Ryan said finally.

Castle looked away from her shoe, and stared out onto the East river.

"Ryan, Castle," he heard Esposito say. He finally turned away from the water, to look at him.

"Gates says your tech man from your building just got the security footage. They're sending it to the precinct right now."

* * *

"Take it," the woman said.

Kate looked back and forth between the metal pipe in the woman's hand and Daniel, watching him shake his head, refusing to take it.

"Take it, Daniel," the woman said, more forcefully this time.

Daniel stepped away from the table.

The woman glared at him for a moment before scoffing once, rolling her eyes.

"Daniel's too soft," the woman said bitterly, glaring at the teenager on the other side of Kate.

"He could've been a star linebacker with his size," the woman continued, shaking her head, "Or maybe even a baseball player. But what does he do instead? He _writes_."

The woman turned her attention to Kate.

"Do you know what he wants to be? Did he tell you _that?_ He wants to be a nurse. Not even a doctor… a _nurse_," she sneered.

Kate watched as Daniel put his head down.

"My _son_," she said angrily, "the _nurse_. He volunteers at a nursing home for the insane."

Then she paused, looking between the two of them thoughtfully.

"I guess that's one thing you have in common," she said softly, "both of you chose careers where you just don't belong."

Suddenly, her expression softened, almost looking vulnerable.

"Do you think she's beautiful?" the woman said, spinning around to look at her son.

"No, mother," Daniel answered timidly.

"I don't believe you!" she screamed. She took the metal pipe in both her hands, bringing it crashing down on Kate's stomach. A gasp burst past her lips and the pain that burst through her abdomen, clenching her eyes shut at the instant ache that settled itself there.

"Do you think she's beautiful?" she repeated through clenched teeth.

"Yes," Daniel answered softly.

"As beautiful as me?"

"No, mother."

The woman chuckled, her face brightening, "Of course not. No one is."

The woman put the pipe down and went back to her toolbox and picked up a knife instead.

"What part of her do you think is most beautiful?"

Daniel didn't answer.

"Daniel," the woman said. She put her knife up to Kate's cheek, pressing down hard, "Answer me."

He looked on anxiously, shifting on the balls of his feet, wringing his hands nervously.

The woman pressed down harder, drawing a drop of blood.

"Her feet!"

_Her… feet?_

The woman was surprised as well.

"Her feet?"

Daniel swallowed once, his Adam's apple bobbing before he nodded vigorously.

"Yes, her feet."

The woman moved the knife from Kate's cheek, looking at him suspiciously.

"Why?"

Daniel exhaled unsteadily.

"Have you looked at them?" he said, unable to keep his voice even, "They're… they're perfectly proportionate to… to her legs. And they're strong. She… she runs in heels all the time and how many women can do that? -"

"Enough," the woman said, cutting him off, taking her knife and walking down towards her feet.

"Not her face?"

Daniel shook his head, "Her teeth… they aren't straight. And she has that spot underneath her eye… You're… much more beautiful than her… mother."

Daniel looked over at Kate, his eyes wide with apology but she wasn't looking at him, instead staring at his mother who lifted the knife to her feet. She ran the blade along the top of her foot, cutting a thin red line across the center. Kate flinched, and the woman smiled, mimicking the action on the other foot.

Her… _feet._

Oh, she understood. She looked at Daniel, her eyes wide in thanks because if she survives this he may have just saved her so many noticeable scars, until she felt the knife dig in to the sole of her foot and her eyes slammed shut.

* * *

"Castle, are you sure you can handle this?"

Rick glared at Esposito, his hands fisted at his sides.

They were wasting time.

"Play the tape, Javier."

Esposito stared at him for a moment longer before he turned his direction back towards the screen in the conference room, pressing play with Ryan and Gates standing off to the side.

The image of his parking garage filled the screen, the dark, almost green looking image frozen as the time stamp continued to count forward. They watched in tense silence, arms folded over their chests.

The time stamp read 6:53 AM when two figures came into the screen.

It was a man and a woman. The woman turned to the man, seemed to talk to him and handing him something before looking around for a moment. She then moved into the parking garage while the man hid on the opposite side. The woman moved over toward Kate's car, and crouched next to it, hiding in the shadows.

"Two attackers?" Ryan said.

Gates nodded, "It looks like it."

Rick's brow furrowed. There was no way to tell who they were.

"Mr. Castle," Gates said, "You said Beckett left your apartment around 7:30?"

Castle nodded, "Around then. Our doorman said he saw her around 7:40."

Gates looked over at Esposito.

"Esposito, fast forward until 7:30."

The image on the screen blurred forward until the time stamp read 7:35 before Esposito let it slow back down to normal. The two hadn't moved from their hiding spots.

Rick felt the air leave his lungs when the time stamp read 7:38, and Kate walked into the parking garage from the entrance on the street. He watched her take sip of her coffee, shaking her head slightly at something, her other hand sneaking down towards her pocket. To get her keys, he realized absently. The shadow on the far side of the screen moved, the man coming out from his hiding place, something long and thin in his hand _– a knife – _before he came up behind Kate. He thought he saw her tense for a moment but then one of the man's arms wrapped around her head, his hand covering her mouth, the other hand, the one with the knife, hidden behind her. Kate staggered backwards, losing her balance and dropping her coffee cup.

He watched as Kate struggled against her attacker for a moment, thrashing against him before she threw her head back, the back of her skull crashing into the man's nose. The force caused the man to jerk against her, and Castle saw flash of the knife as it cut into her side. Kate flinched, falling forward slightly in pain before throwing an elbow into her attacker's stomach. He watched as a stain formed on the ground, growing larger by the second. Kate spun around in her attacker's arms, her hands locked around his wrists, still holding his knife. His eyes were drawn to the woman at the bottom of the screen. She stood up and moved over towards Kate and the other man, gripping something in her hand. The woman stood up behind her, her hand quickly coming up to Kate's neck. Kate seized for her moment before she went limp in her attacker's arms. The woman took the knife from his hands, stuck her hand in Kate's pocket, digging out her keys. She turned and unlocked the car, popped the trunk open before grabbing Kate's feet. The two then carried her over to her car, put her in the trunk and closed it before the woman got in the front seat of the car and the man crawled into the back. Then the woman backed out of the parking spot and left, turning towards the precinct.

Esposito paused the tape and the room was eerily still.

Rick felt his lungs start to burn, and released the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"That's my girl," he murmured.

When everyone in the room looked at him, he laughed once, letting his head fall forward.

"She's not going down without a fight."

Everyone in the room smiled briefly before they composed themselves.

"I'm going to release this clip to the media," Gates said, "Maybe someone will remember seeing two people walking near your building."

Castle nodded and Gates left the room.

He looked down at his watch as Gates left the room. Castle swallowed before looking back and Ryan and Esposito.

"You two should go home... It's Valentine's Day… Do something special for Jenny and Lanie."

Esposito startled slightly before composing himself. The two looked at each other, before shaking their heads.

"No way, bro."

Castle shook his head.

"I already talked to Jenny yesterday," Ryan said, "told her I'd make it up to her. She agreed that I should be here."

"And Lanie would never be able to relax knowing that Kate's missing…" he said, before quietly adding, "… I wouldn't be able to either."

Castle looked between the two of them, felt his heart constricting in his chest.

"I'm really happy that she has you two."

The two shifted uncomfortably at the praise before Ryan took a deep breath.

"Well… don't forget that you have us, too," Ryan said.

"Yeah," Esposito continued quietly, "Beckett will always be our girl," he reached out and gripped Castle's shoulder, "But you're our boy."

The unspoken thoughts settled in the air around them.

_You're family_.

* * *

When Kate came to again, she wasn't gagged anymore.

"I would've gotten a bigger ring."

Kate blinked and looked over to her left. The woman was staring at something above Kate's hand. Kate realized it was her hand.

"My fiancée knows me," Kate said bitterly, though the tone was marred slightly by the pathetic rasp in her voice.

"He has the money," the woman said, staring at her, "If he really loved you, he'd show it."

Kate's jaw clenched.

"He loves me enough to respect my wishes and not go overboard. I don't love him for his money."

The woman ignored her, running her fingers along the edge of the knife.

"I've met him before," she said, "at a Derrick Storm book signing," she smiled, "he told me I was pretty. You know… back when I was blonde. I gave him my number… after he signed my chest," She shrugged, "He didn't call. So I went to the next book signing, his first _Nikki Heat_ signing," she frowned, "he didn't even recognize me. And then I went to the next one, and the one after that," she scowled, "Nothing. Wouldn't even sign my chest anymore. And then I realized he was with _you_," she sneered, "You, the _cop.._. But I didn't give up," she shook her head, "No, I couldn't. He told me I was pretty. Richard Castle thinks I'm pretty. We are _made_ for each other. If he liked how you looked, fine, I could do that, even if I don't understand why," the woman lifted her knife, flicked it over her now brown hair, "I can be whatever he wants me to be. I'm perfect."

The woman took a deep breath, and Kate realized that the knife was shaking.

"Why does he want you?" she said bluntly, "He could have anyone in the world, and he chose _you_."

Kate clenched her jaw.

"You don't deserve him," the woman continued, standing up, "He's the best. _I_ deserve the best."

"You're crazy," Kate said, wincing as she realized she just broke the cardinal rule of dealing with someone insane.

The woman clenched her jaw, leaning over and smacking Kate across the face.

"When I'm done with you, there's no way he'll want you…" she threatened, her voice low, "That is…"

She looked at Kate, running the blade of her knife over Kate's neck. Kate glared at her, trying not to flinch.

"… If I don't kill you first."

* * *

(2/3)


	7. February 15, 2014

**February 15, 2014**

She didn't sleep at all that night, lost in her own thoughts, struggling to breathe. Her chest hurt, her bones were sore and her skin was turning a horrifying shade of purple. Her feet were burning despite the bandages and antiseptic Daniel had put on them after his mother, whose name he still wouldn't tell her name, went to bed, her skin trying to pull itself in every direction to heal.

She thinks it's the third day she's been gone, the third morning at least if the sun that burst through the door as Daniel came down the steps with a bottle of water in his hands was anything to go by.

She wondered if they realized she was gone.

She nearly rolled her eyes at that. Of course they knew she was gone. At least Castle did. He has the tendency to panic if she doesn't answer his texts within an hour of sending them. He was looking for her. She knew he was.

And the boys would have realized something was wrong when she didn't show up for work.

People knew she was missing.

Kate closed her eyes. Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and she was gone. She was supposed to be home with him, and she was stuck on a boat with a teenager who wouldn't stand up to his mother but was trying to protect her at the same time and a narcissistic psychopath who thought she belonged with Castle. And he was probably driving himself mad, letting his imagination get away from him and imagining her in the worst possible situations.

She sighed.

She had to admit, this was pretty far up the list of the worst places to be.

But she wasn't dead yet.

Alive and tortured is always better than murdered.

"How do you feel?" Daniel asked quietly. He untied her gag from around her mouth, resting it beside her head.

Kate stared at him blankly.

"I have water," he said, averting his eyes and twisting off the cap, "Are you thirsty?"

She wanted to say no. But she was. Her tongue was heavy in her mouth, her throat rough like sandpaper. If she was going to make it out of here, she needed water.

She nodded her head.

They let her up once from the table to go to the bathroom, and it was early on the second morning, when they had woken her up and she wasn't even fully conscious. She hadn't eaten in days, her stomach long since ceasing to growl at her. Instead, she noticed the way her stomach was thinning out, her bones more visible through her skin, her body eating itself to try and give her energy.

She felt Daniel's hand on the back of her head, his palm pressed flat against her greasy, knotted hair. He lifted her head slowly before bringing the bottle of water to her mouth. She took tiny sips, nearly sighing at how good the water felt sliding down her throat.

Before she knew it, the bottle was halfway gone, and Daniel was setting her head back on the table.

"Daniel," Kate rasped, "you have to help me."

"How?" he asked, "What do you need?"

Kate looked pointedly at the keys hanging on the wall.

She had stared at them for hours at a time, trying to figure out a way to get them and get herself off of the damn table but it was useless. Chained the way she was, there was no way she was going to be able to get out of her bindings unless she had help.

But Daniel was already shaking his head.

"She'll kill me," he said quietly.

"Daniel, if you help get me out of here I will help you. I promise. I'll tell everyone how you've protected me. I'm the best homicide detective in the city, Daniel, my word goes a long way."

Daniel exhaled unsteadily, so Kate trudged on, her voice as steady as she could make it.

"My fiancée is one of the most influential people in New York. He's on a first name basis with the mayor, plays poker with him and some of the judges in this city. If anything happens to me… he's not going to let it go. He loves me, Daniel. If they find you… if _he_ finds you, he's going to make sure you pay. And there's not a single cop in this city that wouldn't be on his side."

He shivered.

"Daniel," she said earnestly, "I can get you away from your mother. I know that you didn't want to do this. You want to help people, not hurt them. We can make her pay for the way she's treated you –"

"She's my mother," he said quietly.

"But that doesn't mean she's a good person," Kate murmured, "She's hurt you, Daniel. Maybe not physically but she has and you deserve to be around people who love and support you. I can help you find those people, Daniel."

Daniel stared at her for a moment, his eyes conflicted before he tied the gag back over her mouth.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I can't."

He picked up his bottle of water and walked back up the stairs, closing the door behind him.

* * *

"What would you do if you were pregnant?" the woman said, looking contemplatively at the knife in her hands.

Kate glared at her, unable to answer because of the gag in her mouth. They'd been doing this for hours now, the woman asking questions Kate couldn't answer and punishing her when she didn't.

"Children are really terrible," she continued, looking over at her son, "They suck the life right out of you."

Daniel broke eye contact with his mother, looking instead at Kate.

"Does Rick want more children?" she scoffed, "I doubt it. Especially not with someone like you. But with someone like me…"

She stopped, looking back at Kate.

"I could take care of that for you," she said genuinely.

Kate felt her brow crumple.

"I can make sure you never have children," she moved back over to Kate, resting the tip of her knife on her lower abdomen. Kate sucked in on reflex, trying to move away from the point.

"I'd be doing you a favor really," she said, running the knife along her skin until the blade was flat against her skin, "and it would only cost you a couple of sca- Did you hear that?"

The woman froze, and Kate looked at Daniel who was staring, terrified, at the blade resting just above the waistband of Kate's underwear.

They listened and Kate thought she heard the sound of a motor moving closer towards them. Her heart started racing in her chest. The woman let go of the knife and it slid across Kate's skin before it clattered to the table the same moment they heard a siren. Kate looked down, saw only an angry red scratch where the blade had been pressed against her. No blood. She sighed in relief.

The woman swore for a moment before bolting towards the stairs. She slowed before she reached the top and took a deep breath, opening the door, stepping through, and closing it behind her again.

"Is there a problem?" she heard the woman vaguely say.

"U.S. Coast Guard, ma'am," a man said loudly, "Do you realize that you're currently in a no boating zone?"

Kate heard another set of footsteps on the deck above them.

"Oh… no, I didn't," the woman said, sounding apologetic.

"Is there anyone else on board, ma'am?"

"Only my son, Daniel," she said, "I'll get him."

Kate heard footsteps moving closer to the door, before there was a loud banging on it.

"Daniel!" the woman called, "Can you come up here, please?"

Kate threw a wide eyed look at Daniel.

He could get her out of here. He could save her. And she would help him just like she said she would.

Her eyes flicked down towards her gag.

If he would just take the gag off…

He stared at her for a moment, obviously conflicted, before walking away from her towards the stairs.

She grunted at him through the blindfold but he ignored her. She cried out to him, felt her eyes start to blur but he just put his head down and kept walking.

He walked up the stairs, looking back at her for a moment, a small smile playing on the corner of his lips before he went up on deck. He left the door open behind him.

_He left the door open._

"Why son, that's a nasty looking bruise you got there. You sure your nose isn't broken?"

"Oh, he just got into a fight. Got him suspended from school," the woman said, "I thought a boat ride would help get his mind off of it. We're from Jersey."

If she didn't get off of here now, she was going to die. She knew it. She didn't know when but this woman was going to kill her and then dump her into the river or take her back out towards the Atlantic and drop her body out there so no one would ever find her.

"A woman went missing a few days ago," she heard the male voice say, "the NYPD believes she may be on the river."

"Oh, that's awful!" the woman said, "We'll leave as soon as possible."

Kate screamed.

She was still gagged, the piece of fabric tied over her mouth and her vocal cords felt like they were ripping themselves from her throat. She lifted her arms, the chains dangling from her arms bringing them down heavily onto the wooden table. She thumped her bloody heels against the table, banging them loudly and ignoring the pain that shot through them at the pounding.

"Ma'am, what is that sound?" the man said.

"What sound?" the woman said a second too quickly.

Kate kicked the table harder, screamed through her gag so loudly she was seeing stars. She slammed her head down against the table, ignoring the pain that burst behind her eyes.

"Do you mind if we take a look?" Kate heard footsteps moving closer to the door.

She thrashed against the table, jerking the chains loudly, throwing herself from side to side until the table scratched against the floorboards underneath her.

"Yes!" the woman said, the door slamming shut as she pushed herself against it, "I do mind."

"It's not a request," the man said, his voice closer to the door, "Please step aside or I will be forced to move you."

There was a brief pause, before she heard shuffling on the deck and the doorknob turned.

"NO!" The woman screamed, she tore through the open door, and Kate's eyes widened as she all but tripped down the stairs. The men from above were screaming, running down the stairs after her. The woman reached the bottom and ran towards Kate, grabbing one of the knives from the box and moving towards her.

The woman screamed as one of the men barreled down the stairs, running straight into her and tackling her to the ground. The woman was sobbing as the man pinned her on the ground until more men came down the stairs. Someone procured a set of handcuffs and he cuffed the woman's hand behind her back before hauling her up and handing her over to another guard.

An older man, his hair streaked with gray and his face lined wrinkles, came down the stairs, immediately walking towards Kate.

"Matthews, take her up and get the boy in handcuffs! Roberts, get me the first aid from our boat! Daniels, up at the wheel now, and start taking us into port. And someone call the NYPD!"

The man looked over at Kate and untied the gag in her mouth. She watched him search around the hull frantically before he found was he was looking for – the keys. He moved over and took them off the hook on the wall, the hook that had been tormenting her for days. The man started with her mangled feet, gently unlocking the chain from around them and maneuvering the carefully off of her ankles. He reached up to the lock on the chain above her wrist, the click sounding like heaven to her ears. He wrapped his fingers around her forearms carefully and helped rotate her shoulders so her arms were back down by her side. She clenched her teeth at the ache.

She watched him, saw his eyes focus on the engagement ring on her finger before he looked back at her.

"Detective Beckett?"

Kate nodded, and the man smiled at her.

"I'm Lieutenant Marks from the US Coast Guard. You're going to be fine."

He turned back and pulled the first aid kit from a man she didn't even know had come back. He grabbed the space blanket from the canvas bag and placed it over her respectfully and she had almost forgotten that she was lying on a table in only her underwear.

Kate heard the motor of the boat start up and her head fell back against the table in relief.

"A lot of people are going to be happy to see you," the man said glancing at her ring again, "One very lucky man in particular."

Kate couldn't help it.

For the first time since the entire ordeal began, she started to cry.

* * *

He wasn't supposed to be at the precinct. Hell, none of them were. Gates kicked them out of the precinct an hour ago and they had left reluctantly. They all headed towards the Old Haunt without a word, each knocking back half a glass of Castle's finest scotch before they all made their way back towards the 12th when they knew Gates wouldn't be there.

Castle, Ryan, and Esposito were all staring around the white board, her smiling face from one of their engagement photos staring back at them from the center of the board. They were all looking at it without blinking, each trying to figure out just what they were missing.

With every second that ticked by, Castle felt his stomach clenching in agony. The percentage of victims alive after the first 48 hours of their disappearance is heartbreakingly low, and Kate had been gone for nearly three days. She was already injured when they shoved her in her trunk.

It still didn't make sense. He had the money. He would give them anything they wanted to get her back but they hadn't heard a single thing from the people who took her. Her case files came up clean, all of the recently released prisoners who may have a vendetta against her were all accounted for. Nothing in his fan mail had raised a red flag.

Why _her? _If the people who took her weren't trying to get his money, or get revenge on her or hurt him, why would they take her?

He heard the phone on Esposito's desk ring and he bit back the hope that always came with it.

It only led to disappointment – leads that didn't pan out, people who were trying to lie to get his money. The only lead that panned out was her car at the pier, and the woman insisted on remaining anonymous, telling them that she was praying that they got her home safely before hanging up.

Esposito stood up and made his way over to the phone, picking it up on the fourth ring.

"Esposito."

Castle and Ryan looked at him, both nearly flying out of their seats when they saw Esposito tense, immediately standing up straighter.

"What? Where?"

He listened for a moment, jotting down an address on the corner of a piece of paper and tearing it off quickly.

"We'll be right there."

He hung up the phone and looked over at the two of them. Castle and Ryan stood up.

"That was the Coast Guard," Esposito said, moving around his desk to grab his coat. He threw it on quickly before grabbing Ryan's and throwing it at him.

"They found her," he said quickly, "Alive."

Castle froze, looking at them with shining hopeful eyes because if this was a trick, if this was some prank call and they'd go to wherever Esposito had written down on that piece of paper and she wouldn't be there he wasn't sure he would survive it.

Ryan must have sensed his hesitation.

"It was the Coast Guard, Castle. They called Esposito's private extension."

"Castle," Esposito said, a small smile on the corner of his lips, "Beckett's alive."

* * *

They pulled up to the pier just as soon as both of the boats anchored at the dock, a bus and some squad cars with flashing lights already there, waiting. Two paramedics with a gurney hopped on board what looked like an old deep sea fishing vessel as soon as the boat was moored to the concrete, quickly disappearing below the deck.

Esposito had warned them after they had gotten in Ryan's car to drive to the pier. The man on the phone told them that she was alive, awake and responsive, but she was in bad shape, her torso and face covered in bruises, lacerations on her torso and her feet (her feet?). They found her chained to a table wearing next to nothing, gagged with a dirty rag and she looked beyond exhausted.

But he could handle it. He could. He just needed to see her.

The paramedics moved back onto the deck of the boat.

He vaguely registered two people sitting on the ground being guarded by officers, the shrill sound of a woman's screams piercing through the already buzzing scene.

"Richard we're made for each other! She's not perfect! I am! She's ugly! I made her ugly! She's not worthy of you!"

Castle looked over at them, his face crumpling in disgust at the woman. He looked at her for the first time, her hair, the same color as Kate's, a pair of heels that looked like the pair she had worn the day she went missing, skinny jeans, and a button up blouse.

She looked like… Kate.

He was going to be sick.

This was his fault after all.

_Oh god._

And then he saw her.

She was strapped on the stretcher, her arms lying straight on both sides of her, her head lulling to one side and his heart started beating faster in his chest because maybe they were wrong, maybe they were too late.

"Kate!" he screamed, his voice echoing over the sirens, the wail of the woman who just wouldn't shut up.

He saw her head snap up towards his voice and he quickly pushed past the officer standing in front of him, bolting towards her. He sprinted across the concrete, ignoring the screams of the officer. He moved over to her, sidling up next to the stretcher.

She was looking at him. She was covered in bruises, her hair matted down on her head, her wrists missing layers of skin, her bra straps peeking over the top of the blanket covering her.

But she was breathing, her chest steadily rising and falling under the sheet and he didn't know if he'd ever seen a more beautiful sight.

"Oh, Kate," he said softly, running his fingers softly over a small cut on her cheek.

"Castle," she said, her voice choked with relief or happiness and he wasn't sure which or if the two were mutually exclusive but he held on to it because she said it. She's talking and he didn't know if he would ever hear her say his name again and he was just so damn relieved. He looked her in the eyes, seeing hers fill up with tears and his hands found the uninjured sides of her neck, holding her head gently in his hands.

He leaned forward, pressed a gentle kiss against her forehead and the tears he had been holding back since they got the call saying she was alive finally spilled over his cheeks. He felt her hands come and wrap around his wrists, holding them tightly and he shifted so he could rest his forehead lightly against hers.

"I love you," he said tearfully, running his thumb softly over her lips, "I love you so much. I'm so happy you're okay."

"Sir," one of the paramedics finally said, "We need to get her to the hospital."

"No," Kate said, her voice coming out like a sob, squeezing his wrist tighter.

"Please don't go," she whispered in a moment of vulnerability she would never allow herself in front of others under normal circumstances.

He pulled away from her and he saw the fear flash in her eyes as he pulled her fingers off of his wrists. He ran his finger over her engagement ring, leaning down and kissing it before linking their fingers together. She clutched his hand tightly, almost desperately.

Oh, Kate.

"I'm not going anywhere," he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss against her lips, "I'm here."

_I love you._

_I love you._

_You're safe now._

* * *

(3/3)


	8. August 9, 2016

Chronological order? What's that?

Here's some fluff to counteract Extra! angst.**  
**

Also, I'm calling this the companion that would never end. I've been writing this thing for weeks now.

* * *

**January 10, 2016**

"Please, Lanie?"

"I could always just do a blood test," Lanie said, rolling her eyes, "It's more accurate anyway."

"But then we'd have to go into the morgue and have to explain to everyone."

"We could just do it tomorrow."

"But then we'd have to wait. Lanie, come on! This is your fault!"

Lanie raised an eyebrow at her friend.

"I seriously doubt this is _my_ fault."

Kate glared at her, "You know what I mean. I wouldn't have even thought about it if you hadn't said anything."

Lanie sighed.

"Why can't you do it?"

"Because someone may recognize me and then it will be all over page six in the morning. If I am –"her voice dropped, looking side to side, "-pregnant, I really don't want Castle finding out in the paper. You put the idea in my head."

Lanie sighed, looking across the street for a moment before she started walking towards the drug store on the other side.

"You owe me big time, girl!" she said, looking back and pointing at Kate, smiling all the same.

Kate smiled back, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this here?"

Kate looked around Lanie's apartment, then back to the woman holding out that daunting little pink box.

Kate took a deep breath, and reached out and took the box from her, nodding on her exhale.

"If I don't do it now, Rick'll know that something's wrong."

Lanie nodded and took a step away from her, nodding towards the bathroom.

"Go do your thing, girl. I'll be out here."

Kate nodded and shuffled towards the bathroom.

* * *

"Lanie…"

Lanie looked over at Kate's pale face, before taking the test from her hands.

"Are congratulations in order?"

Kate didn't respond right away.

"I – I don't know."

She sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"We haven't talked about kids, Lanie. He already has Alexis and she's in college now. What if he doesn't want another? We've been so busy. And so careful! How did this – oh…" she trailed off.

"Kate?"

Kate exhaled loudly, her hand coming up to rest on her forehead.

"The fundraiser."

They definitely hadn't been careful that night. Not in bed, or against the bookshelves, or the kitchen counter where the whole night started.

Had she taken her pill that morning? She couldn't remember. She thinks she did. She would have noticed if there was one left over.

But these things happen anyway, don't they?

"Kate," Lanie said gently, bringing her out of her thoughts, "Castle will be ecstatic."

"How do you know?" Kate said softly.

"Oh, honey…" Lanie laughed, "that man was born to be a dad. You know how good he is with Alexis, and he can't handle her mother for any more than a few hours. He loves you. This baby is half you. You might shock him at first, yes. But he's going to be so happy, you'll see."

Kate nodded, but didn't respond.

"I'll do a blood test for you first thing tomorrow," Lanie said, "Just to be sure. And when you know for sure, you'll tell him."

Kate nodded again, letting out a breath, "Thanks, Lanie."

"Anytime," Lanie said, leaning forward and putting the positive pregnancy test on the counter.

"But just in case… no coffee in the morning."

Kate groaned, letting her head fall into her hands.

"As if _that _won't tip him off that something's wrong."

* * *

**January 15, 2016**

She still hadn't told him.

She hadn't been acting like herself, and they both knew it. She knew that Rick blamed it on the time of year – she was always a little quieter around January 9, a little more reserved. She'd gone shopping with Lanie, the day after, got the blood test done.

And they'd gone on with their lives as normal. They'd gone to work. Rick didn't know. The boys didn't know. Gates didn't know. Only Kate and Lanie knew, and Lanie swore herself to secrecy.

And this case wasn't making it any easier - A pregnant woman, murdered in her apartment, with a butcher knife.

Seriously, universe?

Looking at the murder board made her queasy. She had sent Ryan and Esposito down with Lanie to get the autopsy report, she made them do a sweep of the crime scene while she and Castle ran down possible witnesses.

It was so unlike her.

She was staring at the file in front of her when she heard the phone go off. She looked up briefly at Esposito as he picked up the phone, briefly caught sight of Castle walking back from the break room with two cups of coffee in hand.

Oh, she'd kill for a cup of coffee.

She let her eyes fall back down to her file with a sigh.

"Yo boss," she heard Esposito call, him and Ryan already pulling on their jacket, "We got a hit on the witness sketch. Says he's at a Westie Bar on the East Side."

A Westie bar? That sounded like… a really awful place for a cop to be.

Especially a pregnant cop.

She took a deep breath.

"You two head over there with some uniforms outside for backup," she said, not looking at them, "I'm going to sit this one out."

Ryan and Esposito froze and looked at each other before walking over to her.

"You okay, Beckett?" Ryan asked, truly concerned.

"Yeah girl, you haven't been acting like yourself."

Kate nodded.

"Guys, I'm fine."

She saw Esposito's jaw clench.

"The last time you said you were fine," Esposito mumbled out, "You were having panic attacks."

"You know you can tell us anything," Ryan said, trying to ease Esposito's harsh words.

_Oh, just stop._

"We've always had your back, Beckett."

_Stop it._

"Tell us what's wrong."

_STOP._

"It's not like we'll ju-"

"I'm pregnant," she blurted out, cutting them off.

It felt like the entire precinct fell silent. Ryan and Esposito froze in front of her desk, staring at her in shock and she heard something crash over to her left. She ripped her gaze away from the boys and saw Castle staring back at her, the same look of shock on his face, the two white ceramic cups in pieces on the floor by his feet, his slacks dotted with their coffee.

_Oh god, no._

"Castle…" she whispered.

"You're… what?" he whispered back.

_Oh god, he didn't want this_.

Kate felt her stomach tie itself up into knots. That could be the only reason he was staring at her like that. He didn't want any more kids. He didn't want _this _and she didn't know if she did either but god she felt the tears start prickling in her eyes because she's only known that their little one had been in there for 5 days and she didn't even realize that she had already fallen in love with it.

She stood up quickly, ignoring the looks from Ryan and Esposito and heading towards the bathroom, sliding past Rick.

She was going to be sick.

She made it about two steps past him before she felt an arm wrap around her bicep, tugging her back. She let out a breath as he spun her around, one hand still wrapped around her bicep, the other coming up to cup her face.

"Kate," he breathed.

"I'm sorry," she said, quickly, her eyes watering, "I don't know how it happened. And we haven't talked about it –"

"So that's why you aren't drinking coffee," he whispered, cutting her off, "you're having a baby."

"Our baby," she murmured unthinkingly.

She watched something light up behind his eyes, before a smile spread across his face, his teeth gleaming in the fluorescent light of the precinct.

"Our baby," he said, unable to stop smiling. His hand left her arm and came up to cradle her other cheek.

Then he laughed.

"You're having our baby!"

He laughed loudly, leaning in towards her and pressing his lips firmly against hers in a smacking kiss. He let go of her face, his arms moving to wrap around her tugging him up towards him tightly.

"You… want this?" she whispered into his embrace.

"_Want this_?" he asked incredulously. He paused for a moment before pulling away from her slightly so he could look her in the eyes.

"Kate," he said sincerely, "there is nothing in the world that would make me happier than to be the father of your children... I love you."

His hand drifted down from her face, moving to rest itself against her still flat stomach, the heat of his palm scorching her through her shirt.

"Besides, this is the first step in my plan to take over the world. Step One: Impregnate Kate Beckett. Complete."

She choked out a laugh, ignoring the fact that they were standing in the middle of the precinct in a puddle of coffee, their friends and colleagues and she thinks even Gates all watching them, and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her.

She kissed him, not giving herself a chance to say that it was inappropriate because they were having a _baby_.

He pulled away from her and she smiled at him, rubbing at the moisture that had formed under his eyes before touching her forehead to his.

They were having a baby.

* * *

**February 19, 2016**

"Do you want to order in?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded, "sounds good."

"Alright," he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket, "What are you in the mood for?"

She pursed her lips, her hand coming down to rest on the small swell of her stomach. He could barely contain the giddy smile off his face at the sight of it, wondered if she really even realized that she had picked up the habit from the moment she realized their baby was first there.

Their baby.

A baby with Kate Beckett.

His wife.

He still couldn't believe it.

"How about just pizza?" she asked, nodding down towards her stomach, "I think he likes peppers."

"That sounds go - wait… He?" he said, looking over at her with a raised eyebrow, "Do you know something I don't know?"

Kate shrugged, smiling at him.

"It's just a feeling."

Rick tucked his phone back into his pocket.

"I think it's a girl."

Kate scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"You're just trying to be difficult."

"No, I'm not!" he insisted, "I have a feeling, too! I knew that Alexis was going to be a girl. And I make good girls!"

"Alexis could have been a fluke," Kate teased.

"Possibly," he admitted, "But I don't think so. And our little girl will be just as wonderful as Alexis."

"I'm sure _he_ will be."

"Fine," he said, putting his hands on his hips, "Let's bet on it."

"We're not betting on the sex of our –" _there it is again_ "- baby," Kate said, crossing her arms over her chest indignantly, "that's almost as bad as betting on murders."

"What?" he said teasingly, "Are you afraid you're wrong?"

Kate pursed her lips.

"No…" she said finally, "Fine. We'll bet on it. What are the stakes?"

"Naming rights," Castle said, almost immediately, "If it's a girl, I name her. If it's a boy, you name him."

She thought about it for a moment.

"Middle name rights," she amended.

"Afraid I'll pick something crazy like Rainbow or Cherry?" he smirked.

He watched her suddenly go shy, the atmosphere in the room shifting from competitive to something much softer, and he wasn't sure if it was the mood swings or something he said that caused it. He was about to take it back, reassure her that he would make sure their little girl had a perfectly respectable name that wouldn't get her teased on the playground and that teachers would be able to pronounce so she didn't feel self-conscious when she spoke.

"It's just…" she started, her cheeks tinged pink, "…I want their first name to be something that we decide together. Something we're both happy with, you know? We both made this baby, I want us to both choose their first name."

He tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

This woman, his wife, the mother of his unborn child, had the capability to knock him, a man who made his living with words, breathless with one shy sentence.

"Fine," he said. He cleared his throat and walked up to her, sliding a warm hand underneath her sweater and placing it on her abdomen, "Middle naming rights. If it's a girl, I get the middle name. A boy? It's yours."

"Deal," she said softly, holding out a hand to him. He shook it with the hand not on her barely noticeable bump (her abs were really helping her out there). After they shook, he tugged on her hand, pulling her into his embrace.

"It's totally a boy, though," she said against his chest.

"Whatever you say, dear."

Honestly? He doesn't really care.

He just wants him or her to be healthy, all ten fingers and toes and all the parts where they're supposed to be.

Their baby already has half of her DNA.

What more could he possibly want?

* * *

**April 1, 2016**

"Are you sure this is how you want to spend your birthday night?"

Kate was curled up in their bed, her knees tugged up as close as she could to her chest, looking at him as he moved in from his office, a fresh pen in his hand.

He was 45. _Forty Five_. Five more years and he would be 50.

They had gone to a small birthday party at the Old Haunt, and he could see just how much it had taken out of her. He had only had one glass of his favorite scotch, spent the rest of the night nursing glasses of water with Kate, content to watch his friends drink his alcohol around him. As much as he would love to have his way with her (or let her have his way with him), he knew that was the last thing she needed at the moment.

Besides, there would be plenty of time for that later.

He sat down on the bed next to her, placing his new pen on the legal pad from his nightstand.

"You," he said, kissing her softly, "have already given me the best present I could have ever asked for…"he let his hand trail down to her stomach, "… there's nothing else I'd rather be doing."

She bit her lip, not believing him, so he kissed her again, this time lingering on her lips, letting his hand not on her stomach trail up to wrap around her neck. She opened her mouth to his, and just before he was about to open his to hers, she yawned.

He pulled away from her, laughing slightly as she blushed and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He settled down next to her, picking up the legal pad from the bedspread.

He quickly drew a line down the center, splitting the page into two equal parts.

On the top of the first, he wrote "Girl names," on the second "Boy names".

"Which do you want to start with?" he asked her.

She put her head on his shoulder, tilting slightly and kissing his t-shirt covered skin.

"You pick," she murmured, "It's your birthday."

He turned, pressed a kiss into her hair and hummed.

"Alright…" he mumbled, "Let's start with girl names."

He wrote one name on the sheet, and Kate laughed.

"We're not naming our daughter Nicole."

"Why not?" he huffed, "She's part you, part me. It's perfect."

She smiled.

"It's a lovely thought…" she acquiesced, "… But do you really think you'd be able to write Nikki Heat the way it is now if we named our daughter Nikki? You still have at least two more to write."

He thought about it a moment before he cringed.

"You're right," he said, crossing it off the list.

They were quiet for a moment.

"Not Johanna," she said quietly.

He didn't push her for her reasoning, just nodded.

"What about Genevieve?"

She scrunched her nose, "Emily?"

"Too common. Madelyn?"

She sighed, "But then she'd be a Maddie."

"So…"

"Madison Queller," she reminded him.

"Right."

He crossed it off.

"Veronica?" she suggested.

He paused.

"Hm… I like it."

He scribbled it down on the list.

"Adrienne?" he asked.

She paused.

"Put it down."

"What about Cara?"

She pursed her lips.

"Maybe… Elizabeth?"

He frowned.

"… Or not."

"How about Mia?" he said.

She froze beside him, and for a moment he wondered if he had done something wrong.

"Kate…"

"The baby kicked," she said. She grabbed his hand, pressed it against the swell of her stomach. He couldn't feel anything, but she looked up at him, smiling brightly. He smiled back.

"So… Mia?" he asked. "We can name her Amelia, and she can be our little Mia."

Kate nodded, lacing her fingers with his over her stomach.

He leaned over, brushed a kiss against her temple.

"Okay… now onto the boys! You go first."

She laughed at his excitement pressing herself closer against his side.

"Okay… William?"

"Sorenson."

"Thomas?"

"Demming. Michael?"

"Royce," she sighed.

"Don't even say Joshua," he warned. She laughed at him.

"James? Wait… nevermind, Patterson."

"Derrick?"

"As in Storm? Do you just like naming your children after your characters?"

"Har har," he said, pushing against her, "You love Derrick Storm."

She rolled her eyes, but didn't deny it.

"Robert?" she offered.

"Weldon."

"Damn."

"Benjamin?"

She pursed her lips before she nodded.

"A contender."

He put it on the list.

"Corey?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Sam?"

"Too boring… Nicholas?"

She rolled her eyes.

"What?"

"Nicholas? As in… the masculine version of Nicole?"

He pursed his lips but didn't take it off the list.

He liked it.

They were quiet for a minute before she spoke up again.

"What about Jonathon?"

He looked at her, "Jonathon?"

She nodded, "As in the longer version of John."

"As in… Jonathon Swift?"

"You know, I was thinking more like John Watson."

He twisted toward her, his excitement bubbling up past his lips.

"You'd really name our son after a character in one of the greatest Detective stories of all time?"

"Well," she said, her cheeks coloring slightly, "I'm certainly not naming him Sherlock… or Arthur."

He shifted, rolled over on the bed slightly and pressed a searing kiss against her lips.

"You're the most amazing woman in the world."

She chuckled, kissing him back until he pulled away from her slightly.

"Amelia or Jonathon?"

Kate nodded, "Amelia or Jonathon."

He smiled, unable to help himself and kissed her again, placing the notepad back on his nightstand.

He pulled away from her, saw her eyes drooping and leaned over to turn off the lamps. He helped her lie down and then settled behind her, his hand rest protectively over her stomach.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she murmured, "Happy birthday."

And as he felt her wife breathing start to even out, he could have sworn he felt the baby push against his palm.

Best. Birthday. Ever.

* * *

**August 8, 2016**

She needed to get home.

She was sitting at the precinct, by herself, filling out paperwork. She looked at the clock, saw that it was almost 5. She could leave before that if she really needed to, Gates had made that perfectly clear, but Ryan and Esposito were out running down a lead, and she was trying so hard to stay at least until they got back. They had gotten particularly protective of her once they found out she was pregnant, and while it basically felt like having three overprotective husbands, she also thought it was sweet. Ryan already had a little girl named Claire, and she knew that Esposito and Lanie were trying, but they couldn't wait to be uncles.

Regardless, she had to go to the bathroom.

… Again.

Kate heaved herself up from her desk, groaning at the pain in her back. The doctor had told her that this could happen. The back pain is normal.

She felt her stomach clench again, and cringed as she made her way to the bathroom.

Another thing the doctor had warned her about: Braxton Hicks Contractions. He had told her not to panic if she felt them. They were normal.

But didn't he say something about them not being particularly painful?

And were they really supposed to last 3 hours?

She made it to the bathroom, and settled into a stall, groaning in relief as the pain in her back finally subsided. She felt her shoulders relax.

And then she felt it.

A little pop.

Didn't some women say they felt that when their -

Kate's eyes went wide.

She was sure she wasn't going anymore, but the sound of liquid filling the toilet bowl didn't stop.

"No…" she muttered to herself, looking down. "Oh, baby no… not yet. Please not yet."

She stood up, ignoring the uncomfortable sensation of fluid running down her leg and looked down.

The liquid in the toilet bowl was tinged slightly pink.

Her water had broken.

She could feel the panic start building.

No, it was too soon. She was only 36 weeks.

And Castle wasn't here.

He was with Alexis in California.

With her classes starting up in a few weeks, she was moving out there and into an apartment. Rick hadn't wanted to leave Kate alone, but she insisted, and Alexis pleaded (at Kate's urging) and so he had gone to help her settle in. He was supposed to come home in two days, the day before her maternity leave officially started.

She grabbed a handful of toilet paper, shoving them between her legs to try and clean herself up. She reached down to pull her pants back on. She needed to get to a phone - to call him, to tell him what was happening and get herself to a hospital or Lanie or something. She managed to pull up her pants before she doubled over again, her hand settling on her stomach. She let out a small cry as her muscles clenched painfully, the last contraction still not over completely.

She didn't think she was going to be able to move on her own.

The boys weren't here, no one was in the bathroom with her, so she did the only thing she could. She took a deep breath.

"Captain!"

* * *

His phone started ringing as soon as he and Alexis adjusted the sofa so it was the perfect distance from the coffee table they had bought earlier in the week. He stood up, groaning at the pain in his back and staring at Alexis.

"I'm getting too old for this," he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

Alexis smirked.

"Well you better find your youth soon. You're going to have a toddler running around the loft soon enough."

He couldn't stop the smile that started spreading over his face.

"That's what Kate's for. She's younger."

A baby with Kate. He never thought he would ever get so lucky.

He looked at his phone in his hand, the picture of Kate on their wedding day flashed up at him as her call came through.

He smirked at Alexis.

"Speaking of Kate…"

He answered the call.

"Hello, my beautiful wife. We were just talking about you."

"Oh, I doubt you were talking about me, Mr. Castle."

He yelped, nearly dropped the phone as Gates' voice came echoing through the phone.

He coughed, clearing his throat and composing himself before bringing the phone back up to his ear.

"Hello, Captain."

Alexis stifled a laugh. He glared at her.

"May I ask why you're calling me on Detective Beckett's phone?"

"You mean your 'beautiful wife's' phone?" He could practically hear her judging him on the other side of the line.

"The two are synonymous."

"Mhm…" she hummed on the other side of the phone. Hm… maybe he had mistaken judgment for humor.

" – Mr. Castle are you listening to me?"

"I'm sorry," he said shaking his head, "My daughter distracted me."

Alexis scoffed, tossing a pillow at him.

"Is everything alright?" he continued.

There was a slight pause on the other side of the phone.

"Captain?" he said, starting to get worried.

"Are you ready to be a father again, Rick?"

Momentarily sidetracked by Gates using his first name, it took him a second to decipher what she had just said. His heart started beating faster in his chest.

"You don't mean…"

"I do mean, Mr. Castle. Her water broke at the precinct about 10 minutes ago. I drove her to the hospital myself."

His mind was spinning. Kate was a having a baby. _Their _baby.

"Mr. Castle, are you there?"

"Yeah…" he said, almost dazedly, "Where's Lanie?"

"On her way."

"Ryan and Esposito?"

"Pulling up any second now."

"My mother?"

"Ryan and Esposito said they would call her."

"Her dad?"

"Already in the waiting room…. Mr. Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm in Califo – on my way. On my way. I'm on my way. To the airport. I'm coming home. Right now."

"Good answer," she said, "Ryan and Esposito will keep you updated I'm sure."

"Wait!" he called, "Captain… can I talk to her?"

There was a pause on the other end of the phone.

"Give me a minute," he heard her say, "I'll see what I can do."

He sighed, "Thank you, Captain."

He heard the sound of a hand covering the receiver, muffled voices on the other end of the line and he looked over at Alexis, who was looking at him with a concerned expression on her face.

"Kate's in labor."

Alexis's eyes widened.

"Now?"

"Now!" He smiled, laughing once in excitement.

Alexis smiled back and moved over to him, throwing his arms around his waist and laughing with him.

"You're going to be a big sister!" he whispered excitedly.

"And you're going to be a dad again!" she said in the same tone.

The muffled voices on the other end kept talking. He furrowed his brow.

"Pumpkin… I'm sorry…"

"Don't you dare apologize," she said, "You need to be in New York with her."

She backed away from him, pulling her own phone out of her pocket.

"Are you coming back with me?" he asked.

Alexis smiled at him, but shook her head.

"I probably shouldn't."

He felt his stomach clench.

"You don't want to be there?" he asked, almost hurt, and he knew he was being oversensitive but his wife was in labor on the other side of the country and this was supposed to be time spent with his daughter.

"No, I want to be there, Dad! I'm so happy for you two and I want to meet the baby more than anything…" she smiled sheepishly at him, "… But I know if I go… I may not want to come back."

His eyes softened, looking at his grown daughter. He reached out with the hand not holding his phone to his ear and pulled her back into a hug, pressing his lips against her forehead.

"You're going to be a great big sister," he said against her skin.

"And you're going to be a great dad," she said before pulling away from him, "I know… I speak from experience."

She pulled away from him again, diverting her attention back to her phone.

He listened to the voices on the other side of the phone continue to talk.

"Dad," Alexis said, "the quickest flight with open seats to La Guardia from San Francisco gets you there at 1 in the morning."

He looked at her, "there's nothing quicker?"

She shook her head sympathetically.

"There's a short layover in Chicago, but the forecast is clear all night so I don't think you'd be delayed."

He thought he heard movement on the other side of the phone.

"Dad?"

He nodded to her, "Book it for me, please? When does it leave?"

"An hour and a half… You need to get to the airport _now_."

He nodded, taking a deep breath.

"The airport… Right."

He started moving towards the second bedroom where he had been staying but she pushed him away.

"I'll ship your stuff back," she said, "… you don't want to waste time at baggage claim."

She led him over to the door.

"I'll email you the confirmation email and the ticket, your credit card has been charged $550, and…" she stopped moving. She shifted so she was standing in front of him, leaned up, and pressed a kiss against his cheek, "… I want all _three_ of you to facetime me as soon as you can."

He kissed her back, smiling at her, "You're the best."

She smiled, "I know. Drive safe. And tell Kate and the baby that I love them both."

He moved away from her, starting down the stairs because he knew the elevator would be too damn slow. He needed to get to his car. He heard his phone ding in his ear, pulling away from it slightly to see that he had just gotten an email with his ticket, and he silently thanked whatever deity existed for giving him a daughter that was as wonderful and thoughtful as Alexis.

And now he was getting another. Another daughter. Or a son.

A daughter or a son with Kate.

God the thought still made him giddy.

There was rustling on the other end of the line.

"Castle?"

* * *

She wasn't in the private room she requested, but honestly, she was a 4 weeks early. She would deal with what she was given. She just wanted to lie down.

Well, that's not all she wanted.

What she really wanted was Castle.

She was in a wheelchair, had just finished talking to her dad and was dialing Castle's number when the nurse told her that she wasn't allowed to talk on the phone. She tried to argue, explain that she needed to tell her husband what was going on but Gates simply plucked the phone from her hands, promising her that she'd tell him what was going on and she'd send people back as they got there if that's what she wanted.

She nodded in thanks, and Gates spun on her heel, walking back past the nurse's station and into the waiting room.

The nurse helping push her turned into a room, smiled at the couple that was already in there and pulled the curtain back for privacy. She helped Kate change into a hospital gown and sit on the bed.

"Do you want to pull the curtain back?" she asked.

"I don't mind if they don't," she said. She was almost hoping they wouldn't, because she really didn't want to be alone at the moment, even though she knew that the others would be back with her soon.

She heard the curtain slide back.

"Another nurse will be back with you soon to get your vitals, Katherine," the nurse said, moving out of the room.

Kate nodded, taking a deep breath as another contraction hit.

"Is it your first?" the woman asked softly.

Kate nodded.

"Is it yours?"

The woman laughed slightly, "Oh no, this is our third," she smiled fondly at the man next to her, "It gets a little easier every time."

Kate nodded, "Good to know."

The woman smiled, "I'm Lindsay. This is my husband, Greg."

Kate smiled back, "I'm Kate."

A nurse came in then, looking at Kate with a large smile.

"Well hello there, I see you've met your roommates. I'm Rachel, and I'm going to be your nurse."

"Kate," she said, introducing herself.

Rachel moved towards her. She immediately slipped a blood pressure cuff around her upper arm, her stethoscope in her ears. She listened for a moment before nodding, removing the cuff and sliding over towards her chart, writing something down on it.

"Are there any medical issues the doctor should be aware of?"

Kate felt her muscles tighten slightly, and she hissed.

"Um… Open heart surgery… five years ago for… a gunshot wound to the chest. And… ow! Hospitalized for lacerations and contusions and dehydration back in 2014 after being kidnapped… but uh…" another hiss, "… nothing since then."

The nurse nodded. If she was surprised or knew who she was, she didn't give anything okay.

"Okay, Kate, Dr. Reynolds should be in with you shortly."

"Thank you," Kate mumbled.

As the nurse left, Kate let her head fall back onto the pillows, breathing deeply.

She shot a glance over at Lindsay and Greg, saw them both staring at her in horror.

"Oh…" Kate breathed, "I'm Detective Kate Beckett-Castle."

She watched the woman's eyes widen at the realization.

"Castle? As in… Richard Castle?"

Kate nodded, "The one and only."

"Oh, I love his books!" she said excitedly, "So you're Nikki Heat?"

Kate nodded, long ago accepting that she wasn't going to escape the name.

"In the flesh."

Lindsay looked at Greg, squeezing his hand.

"Oh, this is so exciting! Have you told him the news?"

Kate shook her head, "I was trying to… my Captain is calling him now."

"So he'll be here?"

Kate shrugged, "I certainly hope so… he's in California right now with his daughter."

Lindsay frowned.

"What horrible timing," Lindsay said sympathetically.

Kate put her hands over her stomach, "This little one is 4 weeks early…" then she looked over at Lindsay and smiled, laughing slightly, "… It seems that horrible timing is genetic."

She heard the door open and looked over, smiling at Dr. Reynolds walked into the room.

"Well I certainly wasn't expecting to see you here so soon." The doctor said.

She smiled wryly at him, "Yeah, me either…"

He moved his way over to her, pulling a pair of gloves out of his pocket before moving over to the curtain. He nodded at the couple before he pulled the curtain shut.

"I'm just going to check your progress quickly, sound good?" he said, snapping on his gloves.

Kate nodded, shifting. Dr. Reynolds came over, put her feet into the stirrups, and started the check-up.

"And how far apart are the contractions?" He asked her.

"Uh, around 15 minutes?"

"And when did you start feeling them?"

"About 3 hours ago."

He came out from between her legs and stood up, peeling off his gloves and throwing them away.

"Well… you look to me about 4 cm dilated."

"Already?" Kate said, her voice rising.

"Don't get too nervous," he said, "you've still got plenty of time left to go…"

The doctor seemed to realize something at that moment and looked around the room.

"Hey, where's Rick? I didn't think he'd miss any of this."

Kate sighed, "He's in California. He was supposed to come home in 2 days before I go on Maternity leave."

Dr. Reynolds nodded.

"Does he know?"

Kate shrugged, "I tried to call him, but the nurse said I couldn't talk on the phone. My Captain is supposed to have told him the news."

She watched Dr. Reynolds's gaze soften slightly before he began to move out of the room, pulling back the curtain as he did so.

"I'll see what I can do," he said, and then left the room.

Kate sighed, closing her eyes again, preparing herself for a long wait.

It was only a few moments later before she heard a knock at the door, almost surprised to see Gates walking in quietly.

She held out the phone to her and Kate took it with another sigh. She was about to put it on the table by her bedside, but Gates raised an eyebrow at her. Kate's brow furrowed and she looked at the phone.

The call was still connected.

She looked up at Gates, her eyes wide with gratitude.

Gates smiled slightly.

"Your father's in the waiting room. I'll send him back in a second. And I think there's… oh, two other detectives, a medical examiner, and an actress out there that are very excited to see you, too."

Gates began to walk out of the room, and Kate called out to her.

"Captain?"

Gates stopped walking, turning around slowly.

"Thank you… for everything. Really. Thank you."

Gates nodded once, then left the room.

Kate looked at the phone in her hand only a moment before she lifted the phone up to her ear.

"Castle?"

She heard shuffling on the other side of the line.

"Kate?" he answered, his voice with a tone of anxiety.

"Hey, Rick," she said, smiling.

"Kate," he sighed, "Are you alright?"

She shrugged though he couldn't see it, "Yeah, you know… just having our baby right now."

He chuckled lightly, and she thought she heard a door close on the other side.

"I'm coming home," he said, "I'm on my way to the airport right now. My flight leaves in an hour and a half and we have a stop in Chicago. I'm supposed to get into La Guardia around 1 in the morning. Will… Will it be that long?"

Kate sighed, "Reynolds says I'm already 4 centimeters…"

"Already? Kate… how long have you been having contractions?"

She bit her lip, "Almost 4 hours."

"Kate!" he admonished.

"I didn't realize, okay!" she defended, ignoring the knowing smiles she knew Lindsay and Greg were throwing her way. "My water broke half an hour ago in the precinct bathroom. Gates brought me to the hospital."

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry," he said, "I love you. You know you're body better than I do."

"Well… just barely," she teased.

"You're evil."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

There was a knock on the door and Kate looked up, saw her father walk in quietly.

She smiled at him.

"Hey, my dad just walked in, let me put you on spe – oh wait," she looked over at Lindsay and Greg who were looking at her softly, "Do you mind if I…"

"No," Lindsay said, shaking her head, "Not at all."

She smiled in thanks, quickly putting the call on speaker phone.

"You're on speaker, Castle."

"Who were you talking to?"

"Our roommates, Lindsay and Greg. They're keeping me company."

"Well, Lindsay and Greg," Castle said, "I must thank you for keeping Kate company while I'm on my way. She can be a handful…"

"Hey now," she warned, "Watch yourself. I'm having your chi – oh!"

She felt another contraction hit her and her dad was immediately by her side, clutching her hand. She nodded at him in thanks and he brushed a kiss against the crown of her head.

"Kate?"

"I'm fine, Castle. Just a contraction. My dad's here."

Rick sighed in relief, "Good. That's good. Hello, Jim."

Jim chuckled, "Hey, Rick. You coming home?"

"Breaking a few San Francisco speed limits but I'm nearly at the airport right now."

"Good," Jim said, "We'll see you in a few hours."

"Yes, you will. Hopefully with time to spare."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll make it."

"May have to bribe some airline pilots…" Kate chimed in, her tone light.

"Whatever it takes," he said seriously, "I'm not going to miss this."

Kate smiled softly, "I know you won't."

She heard a door shut on the other side of the line.

"Are you at the airport?"

"Yeah," he said before he sighed, "I have to go. My ticket is on my phone and I need to get to my email…"

"Go Rick," she mumbled, "I've got my dad, your mother, Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie to keep me company. I'll be alright."

"I'll call you once I pass security. And again between flights in Chicago."

"Okay, Rick."

"I love you," he said, "I'll be home soon."

"I love you, too," she said quietly, "We'll wait as long as we can."

* * *

He bought the bear on impulse. When Meredith was pregnant with Alexis, he had bought her Monkey Bunky so she would have when she was born. He realized that he didn't have anything for his next child as he passed through security.

He had bought Alexis a monkey because she was always tossing and turning in Meredith's stomach. He didn't have the chance to think about what to give his future son or daughter, he obviously thought he'd have more time when he got back and Kate went on maternity leave. But he wanted their child to have something, something from him that they could keep tucked away in their closet, when they would pull out the dusty stuffed animal and look at it and smile and remember that it was the first birthday present that they had ever gotten.

He had stopped into a gift shop in the airport, the one with all the stereotypical touristy souvenirs like shot glasses with historic landmarks and t-shirts with the local sports teams printed across the front. He searched before finding a teddy bear that worked for him, smiling as he pulled the brown bear with an Alcatraz t-shirt and took it to the register.

Now, the bear was the only thing keeping him grounded as the plane tilted downward, preparing to land at La Guardia. The majority of the plane was asleep, but he was wide awake, wired with nerves because his wife had been in labor for over 10 hours now and he hadn't been there for her. He had promised himself as soon as Kate told him she was pregnant that he wouldn't make he do a single step of it on her own. And then, when the moment of truth finally came, the most important part of this entire journey, he wasn't there for her.

And logically, he knew it wasn't his fault. The baby was 4 weeks early. No one knew this was going to happen.

Still, he felt awful. He had called her quickly in Chicago like he promised between his flights, and she updated him on what was going on. She was at 6 centimeters, the contractions now 10 minutes apart and he was going to get there in plenty of time. She had joked with him, telling him that the baby was obviously waiting for his daddy to be there.

Still, he was anxious. He couldn't keep his foot from tapping, his hands playing with the arm of the bear as his mind kept wandering.

What if during the time he had been on the plane from Chicago to New York, something happened? What if the baby was coming right now? What if she'd already had their child, or what if… something worse had happened. The baby _was _premature...

He needed to get to her _now_.

He felt the familiar bounce of the plane as it landed on the runway, and he nearly bolted out of his seat at the thought of being so close to her. He got a glare from the flight attendant walking up the aisle and gently waking people up, and he let his free hand rest on his seatbelt buckle. The rest of the plane began to stir, the pilot coming up over the intercom and announcing the time and wishing everyone well and then the flight attendants opened the door to the terminal and he was already up out of his seat and running up the aisle, ignoring the odd stares he got from the other passengers on board. The flight attendants glared as he worked his way past them, but he ignored them, too.

The airport was relatively empty. He pulled out his phone, bringing it to his ear as he walked past the tired looking few milling around the terminal, once again ignoring the questioning looks at the man currently running through an airport without luggage or a carry on and a teddy bear clenched in his fist.

She picked up on the second ring.

"Hey, Castle," she said softly, the exhaustion already clear in her tone.

"Kate, I'm here," he panted, "I'm in New York. Are you…"

"Yes Rick," she said, cutting him off, "I'm okay. 7 cm, but the contractions are still 9 minutes apart. Reynolds is thinking another few hours."

The automatic doors slid open as he ran out of the airport into the humid August night. He hopped into one of the cabs waiting by the curb, startling the driver. He rattled off the address of the hospital, telling the cabbie if he got him there in less than 10 minutes, he was getting a $100 bill and could keep the change.

He heard Kate laugh on the other side of the phone.

"Castle, it'll take longer if you get your cab pulled over for speeding. We'll still be waiting for you even if you go the speed limit."

"Kate," he said earnestly, "You've been in labor for over 10 hours, and I've missed all of it. I want to be there. I can't deny you the satisfaction of telling me you're never going to let me touch you again and nearly breaking my hand."

"Oh trust me, I've done plenty of that… Esposito left the room nearly crying about his 'poor fingers'."

"But I don't want to wait for that to be me. I want it to be _my _hand. I want to kiss your temple when you threaten to castrate me so I can't get you pregnant again…"

The cabbie stopped outside of the hospital and Castle shoved the promised money through the divider, exiting the cab with the teddy bear in his arms. He shut the door quietly, walking swiftly into the hotel. He followed the signs for the maternity floor, taking the stairs 2 at a time, talking to her the entire time.

"I want to rub your back when it hurts too much…"

He made it to the right floor.

"I want to wipe the hair from your face, pull it up for you…"

He saw Gates in the waiting room with Ryan and Esposito, who was indeed rubbing his hand. He motioned for them to be quiet, and all three stood up and led him to her room.

"This is not fair to do to your wife that's in labor," she said, and he was pretty sure he could hear the tears in her voice.

"I'm sorry," he said, following the three as they walked down the hallway, "I'm sorry that I haven't been here for most of this with you. But I want to make it up to you…" they stopped in front of the door, "… I'm going to start making it up to you right now…" the knocked slightly and he heard Kate call them with that same watery voice. They walked through first, he walked through after them, seeing her with her eyes squeezed shut, holding her dad's hand with her free one.

"Kate."

Her eyes opened and she sobbed once at the sight of him, standing just inside the door, his phone still pressed to his ear, holding a teddy bear in front of his chest. She hung up and he did too, crossing the room quickly. She let go off her father's hand, held out her arms to him and he wrapped his own around her. She squeezed his shoulders tightly, breathing heavily against his neck and he buried his head in her hair, breathing deeply.

"I'm so happy you're here," she said softly.

He pulled back, looking into her shining eyes. He swiped his thumbs under her eyes, wiping away the moisture on her cheeks before he leaned down and kissed her sweetly.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

She leaned up and kissed him again, and he noticed the rest of the people start to leave the room. Jim leaned down and kissed Kate on the top of her head and Martha came around to stand next to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him slightly, before reaching down and grabbing Kate's hand, squeezing it tightly with a bright smile. Then they both left, leaving the two of them alone.

He looked over at the stripped bed beside her.

"Lindsay and Greg?"

She smiled at him.

"Went to the delivery room three hours ago. Greg came back about an hour ago while Lindsay and the baby were still sleeping. They had a little girl… named Emma Lynn."

He smiled at her, moved around her to settle into the chair that her father had just vacated.

"I brought a bear for the baby," he said, almost shyly as he sat down. He held it out to her and she took it, looking at it for a moment before laughing quietly.

"Did you pick this up at an airport gift shop?"

He shrugged, "It was the best I could do on short notice."

She smiled at him, looking at the bear's shirt.

"Is that Alcatraz?"

This time he smiled, "Indeed it is."

She laughed again.

"I bought Alexis Monkey Bunky because she was always kicking and shifting about 2 weeks before she was born and it reminded me of an overexcited monkey..." he laughed slightly, "… I was going to wait to see what this one would do while you were on maternity leave so I could decide what to get. But… I just wanted to give this little one to have something that their sister had… their first birthday present –"

Kate grabbed his hand, and he looked up at her, seeing her eyes surprisingly wet again.

"This is perfect," she said, her voice choked, "because when this baby gets older their going to look at this bear and know that their Dad raced across the country as quickly as he possibly could so he could be there when they were born because they are that loved…" She brought his hand up to her lips, kissing his knuckles softly and mumbling into his skin.

"… I'm so happy they'll have you as a dad."

He smiled at her. He didn't expect her to be so… sentimental.

He was about to respond but was cut off by a knock at the door and they both looked up as Dr. Reynolds walked in.

"Oh hey," he said brightly, "Daddy's here!" He reached over and held out a hand to Rick, who took it and shook it firmly.

"Kate's been such a trooper," the doctor said, pulling on a pair of gloves so he could check Kate's progress again.

Rick smiled fondly at Kate, "She always has been."

Dr. Reynolds pulled a stool over to the bottom of Kate's bed and put her feet in the stirrups.

"Now that both of you are here," Dr. Reynolds said, looking at the two of them as he sat down, "Maybe this little one will finally come out and meet you."

* * *

"You're so close, Kate. You're so close. I know you can do it," he encouraged.

He was standing by her side, holding her hand as she squeezed it tightly, his bones crushed painfully together in his grip.

It's worth it.

"Okay, Kate," Dr. Reynolds said, "On the count of three, you need to push again. One, two, three, push!"

Her entire body clenched, her back bowing as she grunted in pain but refused to cry out, trying to push as hard as she could.

" - Eight, nine, ten."

Her body collapsed back against the delivery bed, her chest heaving.

"It hurts more than a bullet," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut.

"I know it does, baby," he murmured, knowing just how exhausted she was by the way she didn't scold him for the pet name, "It'll be over soon."

"Alright, Kate," Dr. Reynolds said to her, "Just a few more pushes and you'll get to meet your baby. On the count of three again. One, two, three, push!"

Kate grit her teeth, pushing again as hard as she could.

"I see the head, Kate!" the doctor said, "Come on, keep pushing!"

A sob burst past her lips.

"You're almost there, Kate!" Rick whispered, rubbing his free hand along her back.

"Keep pushing!"

Kate sobbed again, squeezing his hand as tightly as she could before she fell back against the bed.

And then they heard crying.

"It's a boy!" Dr. Reynolds announced.

He held up their crying baby, still attached by the umbilical cord.

Kate lifted a hand to her face, still crying.

Rick quickly did the honors of cutting the cord, before he moved back to Kate's side. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her tightly. She let her cheek rest on his chest.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered, "I love you so much."

"I love you," she said, sobbing in relief or happiness or pain he wasn't quite sure but he thought it was a combination of the three so he pulled away from her slightly just so he could kiss her fiercely because she'd given him a son and she loved him and he was just so happy that he had made it in time.

She pulled away from him slightly, and he felt her start to shake under his hands.

He looked at her, saw that she was still crying, but laughing.

"I told you so," she chuckled, smiling through the tears, "I told you it was a boy."

He leaned down, kissed the top of her sweat drenched forehead.

"Yeah… you did."

"Mommy, Daddy…" Dr. Reynolds said, moving over towards them, a small blue bundle wrapped in his arms, "I think I have someone you want to see."

He moved over towards Kate, tucked the small bundle in her arms.

"Do you have a name yet?" One of the nurses asked softly.

Kate nodded, looking up at him.

"Jonathon," Castle said.

Kate took a deep breath, "Jonathon Alexander Castle."

He looked at her, his eyes shining brightly and he kissed her again, once again overwhelmed by how it was possibly to be so in love with the woman in front of him. When he pulled away from her, he looked down to meet the wide blue eyes staring up at him and Kate. He hoped that soon they would turn green.

"Hey Jonathon," she whispered to their son (_their _son). He watched as Jonathon looked up at her at the sound of her voice, his wide eyes seeming to stare at the woman who brought him into the world with wonder.

He doesn't blame him. He's in awe of her, too.

"I'm your mommy," she said softly, "and this is your daddy. And we love you so much."

Rick reached out a hand, brushing his fingers over his slightly still damp hair, before leaning down and pressing a kiss against his forehead.

"We're so happy you're here, Jonathon," he whispered.

"He's so tiny," Kate whispered.

"He'll get bigger," Rick whispered back, "Quicker than we would like him to."

She nodded in acknowledgment.

"Do you want to hold him?" she asked.

He nodded and they shifted the small bundle in his arms. His large frame dwarfed the small blue bundle in his arms, his son's head cradled perfectly in the palm of his hand.

_His son._

"You look good with our son," she said softly, the exhaustion finally working its way into her tone. He looked down at her, saw her smiling up at him with shining eyes and he just couldn't help himself.

_Our son_.

So he kissed her again.

* * *

When they began to move Kate into recovery and put Jonathon into the nursery for a more thorough check-up before he could go back with Kate (they were surprised how developed he was), he excused himself to tell their family and friends the news. He walked out into the hallway still wearing the protective, paper shirt over his button up.

He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Alexis as he walked, giving her all the information on her newborn baby brother.

He found everyone sitting in the waiting room (though Gates had gone home after he had gotten there: she had to be at work the next morning, but she'd given Ryan and Esposito the morning off), the crowd at 4:30 in the morning less than stellar but everyone was still up and waiting for the two of them. Martha and Jim jumped up as soon as they saw him moving towards them. Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie quickly followed suit.

They approached him quickly and he stopped a couple feet away from him. They were looking at him anxiously. He let his smile bloom across his face.

"It's a boy!"

A cry of relief came from everyone. Martha reached up and pressed a kiss against his cheek and Jim pulled him into a hug. He listened to the congratulations with a smile on his face.

"Do you pick a name?" Martha asked.

He nodded, "Jonathon Alexander Castle."

Martha gave him a watery smile, and he smiled back, feeling the claps on the back from the boys and Lanie squeezing his arm as they spoke.

"Now, I should get back to Kate," he said, "They were just moving her into recovery. I'll come get you all when you can come back?"

The group nodded and he spun on his heel, moving quickly back down the corridor towards the room Dr. Reynolds said would be Kate's recovery room.

As he walked he felt the lethargy begin to seep into his excitement, his flights from earlier slowly starting to catch up with him. He pulled out his phone, saw that Alexis hadn't responded. Without thinking, he opened the Twitter app on his phone, and typed out a quick tweet.

_Kate's first words after giving birth: "*sobbing* I love you. *laughing* I told you so."_

He looked at it for a moment before he sent it.

And then he found himself typing another.

_Worth being wrong. I wouldn't have missed this for the world._

He smiled to himself and sent it in. Then he frowned, worried that those may have sounded too sappy as Kate would say, so he sent another one.

She would kill him for tweeting if she ever found out, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted to stick his head into every hotel room and let the world know that he has a son with Kate Beckett and he was beautiful.

_Speaking of which… I'm never leaving again._

He chuckled to himself. That sounded like him.

He typed out a quick message to Paula, telling her the details and that the article they had already decided on would need to be released early.

He nearly bumped into a nurse as he tucked his phone back into his pocket and started walking faster towards her room. He apologized, yawning slightly just before he entered.

He paused in the doorway, though, finding her resting in bed. Her hair was a mess, her cheeks still pink from giving birth not 20 minutes beforehand. She was holding Jonathon in her arms, smiling softly at him.

And she was positively glowing.

He pulled out his phone and put it on silent, opening the camera and taking a picture of the scene before him.

Yeah… it was definitely worth it.


	9. December 16, 2016

**December 16, 2016**

"You're such a handsome boy," Rick cooed, looking down at his son, "You get it from my side of the family."

He heard Kate scoff from where she was getting a bottle in the kitchen and he smiled.

_Only a few more weeks of bottles_, he thought to himself, _and then it's time to make a go at solid food. _

Had it really already been four months?

He listened to her sock covered feet pad across the hardwood floor towards him, and he looked up from his son in his arms to take her in.

She was wearing jeans and one of her oversized sweaters, though she really didn't need to. As soon as she could, she was back to getting in shape, going for runs while he took care of Jonathon for an hour in the morning, doing yoga before everyone else was awake. She was back to her normal size, had been religious in her use of cocoa butter while she was pregnant to help with stretch marks.

If you didn't know her, if you couldn't see that extra spark in her eye that wasn't there 4 months ago, you would never guess that she'd had a baby.

_Their _baby.

Nope, still not over it.

"Are you forgetting that half of his genes are mine?" she said, smirking slightly.

Rick shook his head, "Of course I'm not. He had to get his eyes from somewhere."

They were turning green.

He had been so happy the first time he noticed.

Kate smiled at him, holding out her arms, the bottle still in her hand.

"Give me my son," she said.

"Hey now," Rick mumbled teasingly, looking down at their gurgling son, reaching out a finger and touching the tip of his nose, "Half of his genes are _mine_."

Jonathon reached up and grabbed one of his fingers in his tiny hands, his newest obsession grabbing the things nearest to him, trying to suck it into his mouth.

Kate laughed out loud.

"Of course," she said, her eyes shining, "He had to get his appetite from somewhere."

He pulled his finger gently out of Jonathon's grasp, handing him over to Kate as he started to whimper. Kate took him in her arms quickly, coddling him against her chest as she gave him his bottle, rocking him from side to side. He immediately latched on, his eyes locked on Kate, his hand coming up to grab at the bottle.

He heard a knock at the door, and he jumped up. Alexis was due home any minute from her first shopping trip back from her first semester at Stanford with his mother, and he wouldn't be surprised if they couldn't open the door with the amount of stuff they would undoubtedly buy.

Christmas was coming up after all.

Or maybe it was Jim. They were having dinner tonight at the loft to celebrate Alexis' homecoming.

Yeah… Jim would make more sense.

Kate shook her head, but smiled all the same as Castle moved towards the door.

He opened the door with a large smile of his own.

But it wasn't Martha and Alexis.

It wasn't Jim either.

"Can I help you?" Rick asked the man standing his doorway.

He was older, his hair graying, deep lines in the corners of his eyes. He was tall with broad shoulders covered in a sports coat. He didn't think he'd ever seen him before, but he looked almost familiar.

The man took a deep breath, "Richard Castle?"

Rick nodded.

"I'm Jeremy Buchannan."

"The journalist?"

The man nodded, "The journalist."

"Rick…" he heard Kate shift and he looked behind him to see her walking towards them, Jonathon cuddling himself against her chest, his bottle gone, "… who is it?"

Kate made it to the door and he watched her freeze, her expression going blank, her eyes flickering quickly back and forth between the man – Jeremy – and him.

What the –

"Is that Jonathon?" the man asked, looking at the baby in Kate's arms.

He watched as Kate shifted on her feet, moving their son so his head was lying against her shoulder, effectively hiding his face from view, her brow furrowed.

"And, Kate, of course," the man said quickly, nodding towards her, "You're even more beautiful in person. Richard's chosen well."

Kate swallowed, exhaling through her nose.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Buchannan," Rick said, turning away from Kate to look back at the man outside their door, "Is there a reason you're here?"

The man looked away from Kate, who was still looking at Rick, and took another deep breath, his shoulders shaking.

"Yes," he said, "I – I'm your –" the man chuckled, "- I'm not really sure how to say it…"

"Just say what you have to say," Kate said, her voice low, that no nonsense tone she uses on the people sitting in her box.

When did this become an interrogation?

He looked back at Kate, startled by her tone, but she was looking at him, worrying her lip.

What was he missing?

"I'm your father."

_Oh._

* * *

He didn't invite him inside.

He listened in stunned silence as Jeremy Buchannan – his _father _– stood outside his door, explaining how he met his mother, how he loved her but couldn't stay because he was working towards his eventual career and Martha was just so young, so he broke it off after a few months, and then disappeared, getting his first real job as a journalist and going to Vietnam for two years.

He didn't even know about Rick until he got back.

Martha and Alexis came home with Jim in tow when Jeremy was telling Rick that he'd read every article that had been published about him. Martha had frozen in the elevator when she saw him, but Jim and Alexis were clueless, pushing her towards the loft. Kate stepped away from him, Jonathon still in her arms, for the first time since he opened the door, leading them inside the loft. His mother wouldn't look at him.

That was fine. He didn't really want to look at her at that moment either.

He stood at that door for another 10 minutes, listening to the man talk about all of his regrets. Cancer, he had said, lung cancer. He was dying. That's why he reached out to him. And when he finished, Rick told him to leave. Jeremy nodded, probably expecting it, handing Rick a sheet of paper with his phone number on it.

Call him, he said, if he wanted to talk.

_I'd love to hear from you_.

He shut the door in his face, walked straight through his loft into his office, ignoring the apologies from his mother, the concerned questions from his daughter, the sympathetic silence of Kate and her father, the whimpers of Jonathon who had woken up from the sudden rush of noise, slamming that door before walking into his bedroom, slamming that door, too.

That had been three hours ago.

He'd moved from his bedroom back out to his study, and couldn't sense any movement in the loft. The whole apartment was dark sans a table lamp in the living room, the fireplace flickering in the dining room.

He ran his fingers over the paper in the darkness, no longer seeing the numbers but they were already swirling around in his head.

Jeremy Buchannan.

_Huh_.

He had read his stuff before. He was good. He'd won a Pulitzer for an article about the CIA.

Maybe Sofia Turner had been telling the truth before she was killed. Maybe his father _was _the only reason he got into the CIA to do research to start with. What else did he silently help do?

His father had known about him his entire life, and had done nothing about it. If he didn't get cancer, he might have lived his whole life without trying to find him.

He tried to imagine knowing that Alexis and Jonathon, _his _children, were alive but never meeting them. The thought made him sick to his stomach. He loved his children with everything he had, would give anything to be with them.

He would have fought for them. He would have tried to be a part of their lives.

His mother knew who his father was. He wasn't a product of a one night stand. They were in a relationship. And she never told him.

Who else knew?

He heard something come to rest on his desk and looked up from the crinkled piece of paper.

Kate was standing in front of him, a glass of water and a plate of leftovers on his desk between them.

"I figured you might be hungry," Kate said with a shrug, "Your mother and Alexis are spending the night at your mother's apartment. My dad took Jonathon for the night. He's going to bring him home in the morning."

At his silence, she crossed her arms over her chest, exhaling quietly, her eyes shining in the dark.

"I'm going to take a shower," she said softly, "and then go to bed. Come get me if you need _anything_."

She uncrossed her arms as she walked past him, letting her hand drift across his shoulder as she moved towards their room and suddenly the thought of her leaving was just too much to handle. He twisted in his chair when her touch disappeared and grabbed her wrist, bringing her to a stop.

"Please stay," he said, his voice cracking with disuse.

Kate looked at him for a moment before nodding.

"Okay."

He tugged her towards him, turning in his chair so he was facing her, opening his legs and bringing her to stand in front of him. When she was close enough, he let go of her wrist and wrapped his arms around her hips, burrowing his face into her stomach, the warmth of her body and her sweater comforting him. Her hands came to rest on his head, her fingers lightly scratching his scalp the way he always loved.

"How did you know?" he mumbled, "You knew as soon as you saw him didn't you?"

Kate exhaled, and though he couldn't see, she could tell she was nodding.

"He had your nose," she said, "and your shoulders…" she paused for a moment, "… it was like looking at you 30 years from now."

He nodded against her, breathing her in.

"You don't have to do anything about it," she said softly.

"I know," he mumbled.

"It doesn't change anything," she continued, "You're still a great father."

He squeezed his eyes shut.

She always knew what was going through his head.

"I know," he said.

She was quiet for a moment, realizing that her words weren't helping. She let her fingers graze over the shell of his ear.

"I love you."

He squeezed her tighter, feeling his eyes start to burn.

"I know."

* * *

**December 19, 2016**

"Who the hell does he think he is?"

"Rick –"

"No," Rick said, pacing around his office, the paper clutched in his hand, Kate leaning against his desk, her arms wrapped almost protectively across her chest.

"What the hell is this?" he said, his voice strained, "_'I always believed in my son'?_" he quoted, "_'I am proud of the man he has become'_?"

Kate stared him, her eyes moist, and he couldn't handle it.

"He has… no right," he fumed, shaking the paper in his hands, "to say those things. He has no _right_ to call himself my father."

He pursed his lips, shook his head.

"He knew, Kate. He knew for forty five years that he's had a son, and he did _nothing_. _Forty five_ god damn years and he didn't try to find me _once_. What kind of _father_ doesn't try to find his kid, huh Kate? Or his _grandkids_?"

His voice got louder, Kate's silence encouraging him.

"It's not like I've been hidden, Kate. It's not like… like I've became an accountant or a teacher or I moved out of the city. I've always been right here. In the paper, on the… on the back of my damn book jackets, and he's just going to do nothing about it? Until it's convenient for _him_?"

He's screaming and he knows it.

"He had _forty five _years to come to me, and he waits until he's dying to try and find me? Says that it's up to me and then puts this in the damn paper to try and get my attention? To hell with him!"

He inhaled deeply through his nose.

"A _father_," he sneered, "would do anything to be with his kids. A father is there to teach his son how to shave, or go to baseball games, or those stupid little awards ceremonies. He's there for career day, and helping change diapers when the mother of his children is tired and needs that extra 10 minutes of sleep. He's there to teach him what it means to be a man, and Buchannan knows nothing about that. He gave me up forty five years ago when he left my mother. If he chose to live alone with his career, then he can die alone with his career. I don't need him. I have my mother, and Alexis and Jonathon, and our friends. I have _you_. He doesn't deserve to be a part of my family… _Our _family."

Kate looked at him, her eyes soft.

"I just want you to be sure this is what you want," she said quietly, gesturing towards his computer with the open word document, his response to Buchannan's statement sitting open in a Word document.

He took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair before he nodded.

"Yes," he said slowly, "this is exactly what I want."

Kate looked at him again, her eyes soft, before she nodded.

They heard a crackling on the baby monitor in the bed room, the sound of Jonathon waking up from his nap and Kate pushed herself off his desk.

He stepped in front of her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"No," he said, "I'll get him."

She looked up at him with a small smile and he leaned down and kissed her lightly, just barely applying pressure before pulling away, moving out of his office and through the loft, striding with purpose. He took the stairs two at a time, moving swiftly down the hallway towards the room with his fussing son inside. He opened the door quietly, eyes immediately finding the crib in the darkened room, and walked over to it.

He lifted Jonathon up and cradled him against his chest.

"Hey buddy," he whispered through the lump in his throat, rocking him gently to calm him down, "It's okay. You're okay. We'll get you in a clean diaper and then go downstairs and find your mama. She loves you, and so do I. I love you so much. And I'm going to do my best to be there for everything. Your first steps, your first words, and when you have to learn to shave, and your first date and everything. No matter what. You know why?" he murmured, moving towards the changing table, "Because you deserve it. I love you, and nothing will ever change that." Rick leaned down, and pressed a kiss against Jonathon's forehead, looking straight into his son's changing eyes.

"I promise."

* * *

(You all have been incredibly amazing recently)

(And by recently, I mean always)

(Hope this lives up to your expectations)


	10. May 10, 2014

The companion piece that would never end

Part 2.

* * *

**November 13, 2013**

He spun her around, urging her feet to move with him as she laughed at him, his hands still covering her eyes.

"Castle, what are you –"

He uncovered her eyes.

"doing?"

She took a deep breath and looked around the room for a moment, her eyes taking in every detail.

"The library? You brought me to the library?"

He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her to him, resting his head on her shoulder.

"Have you ever been in this room before?"

Kate shook her head, "No, but I've seen pictures."

Rick nodded his head against her shoulder, "I've been to a few fundraisers in here for the Library - First Books, Reach out and Read, things like that… but I was thinking…"

"Yeah?"

"What if we got married here?"

Kate spun around in his arms, "Here?"

"Here," he nodded, "In this very room. Beyond which lies millions of pages of history and literature that I searched through as a child, that you poured over as an NYU undergrad, and which there are two full complete sets of the _Nikki Heat _series, the fictional us."

Kate looked up again at the high ceilings, the white washed stone walls and pillars.

She looked back at him, worrying her lips, "We said we would keep it small."

"And we still can. The same people we were going to invite before… The minimum is 50 guests. That's easily covered by the Twelfth and my writer friends. Not to mention Joe ("_We'll just invite him, Kate. We go way back and he thought you were adorable. Besides, his wife loves weddings. The worst he could do is decline") _and Natalie and Carson ("_They need to see how Nikki and Rook's wedding really looks. For research") _and Shaw and Fallon (there was no argument there from her), but we could stay in the city. There won't be the fear that it'll be too hot or too cold or if it'll rain." He saw her pursing her lips at the thought, so he kept going.

"Close your eyes."

She looked at him for a moment she let her eyes slide shut. He jumped at the opportunity, sliding his arms around her waist from behind and held her against him.

"Picture it," he whispered, "this room filled with our family and friends, FBI agents, Detectives, Uniforms, Best-Selling Authors, and whomever else we think of last minute to invite. A white runner that leads to where we are now, and I'll be waiting for you. You in a dress you refuse to let me buy for you –" her hands come up to rest on his over her stomach and he doesn't have to see to know that she's smiling –"looking positively radiant and I'll take your hand in mine and kiss it because I can't actually kiss you until the end of the ceremony but can't go another second without touching my lips to some part of you. Bob or Markaway will preside over the ceremony, everyone else sitting in rows of white chairs in front of this platform draped in green and purple. They'll be two empty seats in the front row, one on each side of the aisle, a white rose on the one on your side for your mother… Montgomery's picture on mine because without him letting me shadow you so many years ago, we wouldn't be here…"

He hears her sniffling and gives her a moment before he starts again.

"They have an opening," he said quietly, holding her as she tried to hold back her emotions, "May 10, 2014. It was a cancellation. I called and talked with the woman who books the room this morning. We have a week to decide before they fill it. I know it's earlier than what we originally planned on, but it's the only opening before 2016..."

She shook her head, mumbling to herself, "Too long…"

He smiled, tried to hide it by burying his face in her shoulders, pressing a loving kiss at the base of her neck.

"We can still do the Hamptons if that's what you want…" he continued, "… We can still do all of those things wherever you want to get married. But I just wanted you to know that this…" he gestured toward the room quickly before wrapping his arms back around her waist, his chest pressed against her back, "… is an option. The choice is all yours."

Kate scoffed.

"It's not even a choice at all, is it?"

"Of course it is," he said firmly, "I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with."

"But you make it sound so perfect."

He spun her around in his arms, catching her chin between his fingers, "… I'm only letting you get married once. I want it to be everything _you've_ ever wanted it to be."

"Well I don't plan on letting you get married again either so it should be perfect for you, too…" she murmured, "… which means we make decisions like this _together_."

Her consideration for him continued to blow him away. He had very little input in either of his previous weddings. Meredith had been quick and rushed, marrying her before she would show in a wedding dress, and Gina had hired a professional planner that had essentially handled everything, from the venue to the colors, to the napkin rings on the tables.

But Kate… Kate cared. She wanted him to be involved. She wanted him to help her choose colors, decide what tux he'd want to wear. She wanted him to help with the venue, the song for their first dance, that absurd moment when they'd have to send out invitations and they had to choose between whalebone and ivory for the placement. She wanted him there for everything.

And that meant everything to him.

"At the risk of sounding 'too sappy'…" he said, quoting her words from their engagement announcement, '… It already is – Perfect that is. Because it's you."

He watched her adorable, half smile crawl onto her lips and she smacked him lightly on the chest, trying to compensate for the pink coloring her cheeks as she avoided his gaze.

She looked around the room again, sighing breathily.

"It really is gorgeous."

He hummed in agreement.

She was quiet for a long while, or perhaps it just seemed like it because his heart was beating so anxiously in his chest, looking around at the room again.

Then, she pursed her lips, and nodded.

"I could have a May anniversary."

His grip tightened around her waist, his heart threatening to burst from his chest in excitement because yes she had his ring on his finger and they had talked vaguely about dates but this, getting a venue, god it made it so much more real.

"So… May 10th?" He said excitedly.

Kate smiled at him, her teeth sinking into her lower lips as she nodded.

"May 10th."

He smiled at her, before he laughed.

"May 10th!" he shouted once, wrapping his arms around her and crushing her towards his chest, unable to contain his joy.

"Shh!" she shushed him, laughing as he lifted her up off the ground and spun her around in a circle.

_They were getting married._

_He was going to marry her_.

_She was going to marry him._

She wrapped her arms around his neck, one hand playing with the hairs on the nape of his neck, the other cupping his cheek as she leaned towards him, her beautiful smile splayed across her face as she pressed her lips to his.

* * *

**January 14, 2014**

"Oh goodness, darling, no."

"Definitely not the one."

"Girl, why on Earth did you even try that on?"

"Because I'm desperate!" Kate groaned, "Nothing's working!"

"You look like a snowball," Lanie continued, staring at the layers of tulle in the skirt of the ball gown in horror.

"A beautiful snowball," Martha added on.

"That's the problem," Alexis said, "You look great in every dress so far. It's just… none of them have been…"

"Me?" Kate finished.

"Exactly," Alexis said, "you need something simple."

"But elegant," Martha added.

"Something sleek," Lanie offered.

"But not too tight," Kate said.

"And please, darling, no more feathers," Martha pleaded.

"Or flowers," Alexis said.

"Or ruffles," Lanie chimed in.

"How about ruching or lace?"

Kate spun around, the princess skirt moving with her as she looked at the tired consultant she almost forgot was there.

Bless her heart.

"I like ruching and lace," Kate said.

"But this is definitely a no?" the woman said, looking at the dress.

Kate nodded.

"Absolutely."

The woman sighed, trying to hide it, but Kate can't say she blamed her. She was exhausted. She had tried on at least 15 dresses during the hour they'd been there; mermaids and trumpets, sheaths and a-lines, and ball gowns; strapless dresses, halter dresses, dresses with cap sleeves and long sleeves; dresses with ruffles and lace and flowers and rhinestones and real crystals, and even the awful, infamous, dress with feathers.

And none of them were _the one_.

She may not have been particularly disillusioned about weddings, but even practical Kate Beckett thought that when she'd find the dress that was meant to be her wedding dress, she would feel it.

"Then let's get this one off," the woman said, "Your dress is here somewhere."

She stepped down off the pedestal and turned to look at the three women she had brought with her, crossing her fingers before she lifted the skirt in her hand and began walking towards her changing room.

Do women really wear a dress like this all night? All the tulle was deceptively heavy.

The woman helped her undress, handing her the soft satin robe before leaving the room to go look for more dresses for her.

Kate looked at all of the dresses hanging on the rack. All of them beautiful in their own way, but just not right in the way that mattered.

She shook her head, closing her eyes.

She wished her mom was with her.

There was a quiet knock at the door before her consultant came back inside, holding at least 5 more dresses in her hands.

As she hung them up on the rack, Kate immediately dismissed half of them, the necklines too low to even have a chance of covering her scar, but the last one caught her eye. It was simple, almost painfully so, a sweetheart neckline and ruched chiffon that wrapped around the ribs and a flat panel down the front. She lifted it slightly in the garment bag, admiring the corset back, the ruching continuing onto the back and leading down into a graceful train, long enough to be romantic, but certainly not anything close to cathedral length.

"Let's try this one first," Kate said quietly, afraid to get her hopes up.

The woman nodded and Kate shed her robe, allowing the woman to help her into the dress. She laced it up while Kate held it against her, looking down and pleased to see that the dress was indeed covering nearly all of her scar. The woman nudged her slightly and Kate turned around to look at the mirror.

"Oh," she breathed out at her reflection.

The dress was perfect. It was simple, but elegant. Sleek, but not too tight. It covered her scars, no rhinestones, or ruffles, or feathers. It was light.

It was her.

She felt her eyes start to blur and quickly blinked them back.

Oh, no way. She was _not _going to be one of those women who cried because of a dress. Absolutely not.

"Let's go show them," Kate said, taking a deep breath.

The woman gave her a knowing smile, and opened the door for Kate to walk out.

She saw Martha, Alexis, and Lanie huddled together on one of the small chaise lounges, their heads bent towards each other. She cleared her throat as she walked closer, and all three of them looked up.

She could have laughed at the expressions on their faces.

"Oh, Kate," Martha murmured, her hand coming up to cover her mouth.

"You look amazing," Alexis said softly.

Lanie looked like she wanted to cry.

"This is it, Kate. This is your dress."

"You think?" Kate asked, looking shyly over her shoulder.

But she knew.

"Kate," Martha said, "You're glowing. This is your dress."

Kate looked at herself again in the mirror, her eyes drifting down and back up again, imagining herself in a new pair of heels, her hair knotted elegantly at the nape of her neck, her mother's pearl hair pin as her something borrowed.

She didn't even try to hide her smile.

She was going to get married in this dress.

"Yeah," she said, softly, meeting their gazes in the mirror's reflection, "I think it is, too."

* * *

**March 7, 2014**

"Well, your feet are almost completely healed, though your bruises are probably still tender. I'd like you to start physical therapy next week to practice walking again," the doctor nodded towards Kate's feet, "start with athletic sneakers, then flat shoes, and then back to heels. It may take a while to get to that step though," he warned.

"How long do you think before my ribs are healed?"

The doctor looked thoughtful, "Ribs are tricky because they're always being moved when you breathe. But yours seem to be heeling pretty quickly. I think, with physical therapy, you should be back to your normal self by the end of next month."

The answering smile Kate gave the doctor was blinding, and Rick was more than a little blown away by it.

"Thank you," Kate said.

He held out his hand and Kate shook it quickly from her spot of the hospital bed, her wheelchair sitting beside her. She'd gotten the bandages off today. Rick shook the doctor's hand firmly. As the doctor left the room, Kate was still smiling as she turned to him.

"The end of April," Kate said.

Rick smiled back, "Only a month and then you'll be back on your feet… literally."

He stood up from the plastic chair he was sitting in, leaned up towards where she was sitting on the hospital bed because she was still smiling that beautiful smile and kissed her softly.

"Just in time for the wedding," Kate murmured against his lips.

He froze against her, pulling away slightly to look at her.

That's what she was worried about?

"Kate…" he whispered.

He watched her smile start to fade, worry clouding her eyes.

"What? What's wrong?" Kate said.

"Kate…" he said again, running his hand through his hair, "… we don't have to get married in May. We can wait until you're healthy."

He watched as something flashed behind her eyes, before he watched her entire face shut down, all the joy there earlier disappearing behind her poker face.

She pushed him off of her slightly, refusing to make eye contact as she leaned off of the bed, grabbing her wheelchair and jerking it towards herself. She swatted his hands away as he tried to help her, attempting to drop herself into the wheelchair. He grabbed her shoulders lightly.

"Kate, what did I say?"

"Nothing, Castle," she said, not looking at him, "Just take me home."

"No," he said, refusing to let her go. One of his hands moved to her face, his fingers running across her hairline, "What's going on up here?"

She shook her head slightly, lifting her shining eyes to the ceiling before looking back at him.

"I can't let her win, Castle," she whispered.

"Let who win, Kate?"

Kate's brow furrowed, pursing her lips, her tongue pressed to the inside of her cheek.

"It was the second day I was on that boat," she said. His breath caught in his throat, "She was… talking about my ring," she said quietly, shaking her head, refusing to make eye contact, her fingers twisting around the metal, "kept saying that she would have gotten a bigger one, that you would have gotten me a bigger one if you really loved me. And she was going on and on about how she didn't know why you would pick me of all the women you could have…" Kate took a deep breath, "… and I know she's psychotic and I told her that you _knew _me and you chose a ring that was perfect for _me_ and then…" Kate exhaled unsteadily, cutting herself off.

"Tell me, Kate," he whispered, his fingers still dancing across her skin.

She looked up at him briefly and saw the pain lurking behind her eyes. She had been seeing Burke since they found her last month, and she looked like she was getting better. But sometimes she lost herself in memories and he hated it. He wished he could just take all the pain away.

"She told me that if she didn't kill me," she said slowly, "she would at least make it so you'd never want me again."

Oh, damn him.

Never before had he wanted so terribly to hit something, preferably the woman currently locked up in a mental hospital or himself.

He opened his mouth to retort, to tell her that he loved her and always wanted her but she broke eye contact again, looking at her hands in her lap.

"I know it's stupid," she said quickly, "I know that you love me and more scars wouldn't make you love me any less even if they _were_ all over my face and not my feet but I just –"

He cut her off, kissing her softly. She startled under his touch before relaxing momentarily and then he pulled away.

"I love you," he murmured, "I love you and the only thing I want more than to marry you in May is for you to be healthy."

"I will be," Kate said, "I know I will be."

He kissed her softly.

"I don't want you to push yourself too hard to prove a point, Kate. You're healing. We can find another venue, another time when all of our friends are available. I'll wait until you're ready."

"I think you've waited long enough."

"I'll wait lon –"

"Richard Castle," Kate said, her voice low, her eyes dark and intense, "I am marrying you, on May 10th, in the New York Library, if the boys have to spray paint this wheelchair white and my dad has to push me down the aisle in it."

He barked out a startled laugh, looking at her, the sadness nearly gone from her eyes as the air in the room lightened dramatically, and smiled. He let his hand drift down from her hairline to her cheek, smoothing his fingers over the bruise-free skin.

"I love you."

"I love you, too," she responded, "though now that you tried to call off our wedding, I feel obligated to ask you something."

"What?" he murmured, his brow crumpling in confusion.

She cleared her throat, reaching for his left hand and looking him in the eye.

"Richard Castle," she said, her eyes sparkling with mirth, "will you marry me?"

He smiled at her, laughing in relief and leaned in, pressed a soft kiss against her lips before folding her into his arms.

"Yes."

* * *

**April 3, 2014**

He'd always wanted to go there. He's not ashamed to admit that during many late night writing binges stopped abruptly with the writer's curse which shall not be named, he's turned on the television in his office and watched mindless hours of television. And TLC might have gotten turned on around 3 in the morning.

And then Kate told him he could do the cake.

She gave him basic instructions – enough to feed 75 people, preferably round, and if there was a Nikki Heat silhouette on their cake she'd kill him.

But everything else was up to him.

He didn't plan on going overboard. This cake was going to be mostly classy, elegant and white with some purple and green. But there were going to be… Castle touches.

"Hey there, how you doing'? I'm Buddy."

Richard Castle stood up from his spot, at the table and shook his hand.

"I'm Rick Castle."

"I know," the Italian said, sitting on the opposite side of the table, "I've read your books. They're great."

"Thank you," Rick nodded, "I'm glad there are still people who think so."

The man laughed, "So what can I do for you today, Rick?"

Rick leaned forward, "I'm getting married on May 10th, and Kate has put me in charge of the cake."

"Your fiancée put you in charge of the cake?"

"Kate's extraordinary," he said, "… and she gave me strict instructions."

Buddy laughed again, "That sounds more like it."

Rick nodded, smiling all the same, and leaned over the table.

"So here's what I was thinking…"

* * *

**April 16, 2014**

"If you like reading murder mysteries than our first guest this morning is someone you're probably going to recognize. He's the author of the best-selling _Nikki Heat _series, which has sold over 2.5 million copies worldwide, and an official consultant for the NYPD. Everybody, please welcome Richard Castle."

The crowd clapped, and Kate looked up from where she was scrubbing the rug trying to get the wine stain out of it, and blowing the hair out of her face to see the TV screen.

Her day off and she was cleaning. Go figure.

Though she supposes it's only fair… She was the one who made him drop his glass last night… Sitting on his desk… wearing only her underwear as he came back with wine to celebrate getting the go ahead for her ribs from the doctor that afternoon.

Thank heavens it was a Pinot Grigio.

Castle walked across the step, demurely kissed each of the five women of The View on the cheek before sitting down in the middle of the couch, adjusting his suit jacket.

"Hello, Richard, welcome to the show," Whoopi Goldberg continued.

"Oh, no, thank you for having me. It's an honor. And please, call me Rick."

"Now, you next book coming out is titled 'Body Heat', is that correct?" Elizabeth Hasselback asked.

"It is. Final edits just finished up. It scheduled to hit the shelves in September."

"Well, I love you books," Whoopi said, "I really do. And the way you left _Heat of the Moment _was just cruel. Can you give us any indications of where you went with it?"

"Whoopi, are you asking for spoilers?" Rick said, pretending to be aghast. The crowd laughed and even Kate chuckled, Rick's expression morphing into a smile.

"No, Nikki and Rook are trying to make a decision regarding their personal life while trying to solve the murder of a firefighter. That's all I can give away."

"Your last book was _Heat of the Moment _and it was a huge success, was it not?" Elizabeth asked.

"It was. My most popular book to date."

"And you proposed with that book didn't you? You proposed to your muse, Kate Beckett, at the launch party back in September."

"Ah," he said, reclining back, "I knew there was an ulterior motive here. No one ever wants to talk about my books."

The crowd chuckled and Rick sat up straight again. He nodded, a genuine smile blooming on his face, "But to answer your question, yes. I did propose to my girlfriend Detective Kate Beckett at the launch party."

"And she said yes," Sherri Shepherd said.

"Well I doubt he'd be smiling like that if she said no," Joy Behar chimed in.

The crowd laughed and Rick's smile grew.

"Yes, she said yes. We're getting married next month."

The crowd clapped again and Rick nodded to them, his smile never fading.

"And this is marriage number 3 for you, isn't it?" Elizabeth said.

Rick composed his features and looked towards her.

"Uh, yes," he said, "I've been married and divorced twice before."

"Doesn't that make you feel a little skeptical about marriage?" Barbara Walters asked.

He looked thoughtful.

"You know, for a long time after my second divorce, I swore off love. Everything that I thought was love before had always let me down and I didn't know what I was doing wrong so I swore that I would never open myself up like that again…" he trailed off.

"And then?" Sherri prompted.

Rick shrugged, his smile growing again.

"I met Kate."

The crowd aw'd and Kate could feel her cheeks heating up though no one was around to see.

"You think this time will last?" Elizabeth asked, "Most people only get married once."

"Nobody gets married thinking that the relationship is going to fall apart," Rick said, "But yes, I fully intend for it to be my last marriage."

"And how does your muse feel about that," Elizabeth continued, "Being wife number 3?"

"We hashed things out at the very beginning of our personal relationship," he said slowly, calculating his words, "She's met both of my ex-wives and I answered every question she had openly and honestly and she did the same about her past," He stopped, shaking his head slightly, undoubtedly trying to stay away from anything personal, "The point is… we both have our own baggage, and no suitcase is heavier than the others they're just… different shapes and sizes. We've learned to help each other shoulder the burden. She knows that she's more than just a number: She's not 'wife number 3' – she's just going to be my wife. And I'm not 'husband number 1' – I'll just be her husband."

"What I want to know is what makes this so different?" Joy Behar said bluntly, "Why is this marriage with your muse any different from the last two?"

Rick paused for a moment before answering.

"With her… it's such a different feeling than anything I've ever felt before, and I think it's because we have a really solid foundation. We started out at colleagues and then I nearly ruined that before we even got a chance to get started. Then we became friends and I _really_ almost ruined that relationship with her and everyone at the Twelfth. Then we became partners and we both almost ruined that, but we've always come back to each other. And it gradually grew into this thing where I'd watch a bad movie and think about how much she would have laughed at it, or I'd eat at a restaurant and make a note to take her there, or I'd look at flowers on the street corner and almost buy them for her when I know she would've killed me for doing so, and I'd call her when I needed to talk a plot line out with someone, and ask for advice regarding my teenage daughter, and bring her coffee every morning because I just wanted to see her smile. We've been there for the good and we've torn each other into pieces and we've made our relationship stronger as a result. She was never just my girlfriend – she's always been my partner and I'm not marrying my fiancé this time - I'm marrying my best friend, and I think that's made all the difference."

He was talking with his hands.

He did that when he was nervous, like he knew she would be watching.

She smiled.

"And how did you know," Barbara questioned, "that Detective Beckett was different? That she was the woman for you?"

Rick smiled, his eyes crinkling in the corners in that way she loved so much.

"You mean besides the way she refused to put up with me for the first month I knew her?" He chuckled slightly, his smile leaning strongly towards adoring. "She keeps me settled," he said, "She's not afraid to knock my ego down a few notches or remind me that I'm really not as great as everyone thinks I am. She always saw the real me behind all the money and the clothes and the articles. She loves my daughter, she loves my mother, and they've both loved her since they first met her. She's really made me grow up and be the man that she deserves to have, but she'll still indulge me and play laser tag with me (which, please note, playing laser tag with a cop is a terrible idea. You'll basically always lose) - " the crowd laughed, "- or try my crazy recipes in the kitchen. She's… extraordinary, always keeps me on my toes and every day I learn something new about her that only makes me love her more. She's –"

Kate watched as the picture of them from the "Heat Wave" premiere flashed on the big screen behind the couch. The crowd aw'd again, cutting the writer off. He looked back at the screen in confusion before she watched his smile grow even wider. He threw a thumb back at the picture and shifted again so he could look back at the crowd.

"- the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Really, just look at her! If I didn't try and keep her for myself, I would hope someone would have me committed."

The crowd laughed and clapped wildly and Kate bit her lip in the privacy of their home.

Sometimes it still surprised her just how much he loved her.

"Oh, she's going to kill me for saying that…" he said finally.

You know what, Castle?

You're safer than you think.

* * *

**April 30, 2014**

"Are you ever sad that I told you I didn't want to take your name?"

He looked over at where she was sitting at the bar, a thoughtful look on her face.

He shrugged, shaking his head slightly.

"I never assumed you would. You've built your entire professional career around 'Beckett' just like I've built mine around 'Castle'. I have no right to ask you to change it."

"But do you want me to?" she pressed.

"I want you to do whatever makes you happy," he smiled at her, "In my mind, you're always going to be Mrs. Castle, and that's more than enough for me."

She hummed, and Rick turned back to their dinner.

"What if it wasn't just in your mind?" she questioned quietly.

He paused looking over his shoulder in confusion, still stirring the pot of sauce.

"What if I took your name?" she asked softly.

Rick froze.

She wanted to take his name?

_Katherine Castle._

God, he didn't realize how badly he wanted that.

He didn't notice his hand sliding down his wooden spoon until his skin made contact with the burning the metal. He immediately hissed in pain and snapped out of his stupor, his skin instantly reddening as he pulled it away from the pot, clutching it in his other hand.

Kate jumped up from her spot and rushed over to him, dragging him towards the sink. She immediately turned the tap on, running the water as cold as it could go before she put his hand underneath of it.

"Remind me to never drop bombshells while you're handling hot things," she tried to joke.

"Kate…" he choked.

She looked up at him, before she looked away, biting his lip, no doubt because he was doing nothing to hide his emotions.

"I was thinking I could hyphenate it - Beckett-Castle. Keep the Beckett because of the precinct and we can't have two people answering to Castle because that would probably confuse some people. But for everything else… I could be Kate Castle… I_ want_ to be Kate Castle."

She looked back up at him and he couldn't contain himself. He pulled his hand out from under the stream of water, immediately moving it to cup her cheek as he surged toward her.

She squealed shortly at the moisture before he brought his lips down to hers, kissing her with bruising force. One of her hands absently reached out and turned off the water, but he never relented, his tongue pushing past the seal of her lips as he pushed her towards the kitchen counter.

"Dinner…" she protested.

"We'll order in," he said, nipping at her lip.

"Your hand…" she mumbled against his lips.

"Is fine," he finished, letting his hands slide away from her face towards her hips, hoisting her up onto the counter. She wrapped her legs around his hips in response, pulling her towards him as his lips trailed from her mouth to her neck.

"You should get it checked out," she groaned as he sucked on the spot just below her ear.

"My hands have more important places to be -"

He let his hands slide up under her shirt, his rough palms spanning her ribs until he reached his goal. She threw her head back, arching into his touch and he smiled against her neck.

"- Mrs. Castle."

* * *

**May 10, 2014**

"Oh, Katie," Jim said, looking at her with shining eyes, "you look beautiful."

Kate stood up, just finished dabbing her perfume on her wrists and looking at her dad. Alexis and Lanie were watching her with a smile, both of them dressed in their simple, sleek, vintage looking black dresses and green heels, their hair straight and long. She adjusted her dress over her dark purple heels and turned to face him, ignoring the click of the camera one of the wedding photographers was using in the corner of the room.

"You clean up pretty well, too, Dad," she said, smiling.

Lanie caught her attention out of the corner of her eye, motioning that they were going to head downstairs towards where the guests were taking their seats (thank goodness Rick had the foresight to find rooms in the library they could get ready in so they wouldn't have to deal with people outside), giving her a moment alone with her father.

"Your mother would be so happy to see you right now."

Kate nodded, feeling her eyes fill up with tears that she wouldn't let fall.

"I wish she was here."

Jim reached out and grabbed her hand.

"I know you do. She's so proud of you, Katie. I know she is."

"Thanks, Dad," she whispered, taking a deep breath and squeezing his hand.

"You ready to go?" she asked lightly.

He took a step back from her, but shook his head.

"One thing first."

He reached into the pocket of his suit and pulled out a long, thin blue box, wrapped up nicely with a pretty, cream, ribbon.

"A present from the nervous groom."

Kate took the box from him, smiling and shaking her head. She untied the ribbon slowly, lifting the lid off the box. There was a piece of paper folded up inside of it, and she took it out slowly, unfolding it and reading his familiar handwriting.

"_Something new? _

_I love you._

_I can't wait to see you."_

Kate smiled, folding the paper back up and taking off the top layer of cushioning in the box, revealing a white gold and diamond tennis bracelet, just a simple, thin, strand of diamonds.

Perfect.

"That man," she heard her father say, "has excellent tastes."

She laughed lightly, pulling the bracelet out of the box and handing it towards her dad, holding out her wrist.

"Would you?"

Jim smiled, and quickly clasped the bracelet around her wrist.

Kate took one last look in the mirror twirling one of the curls framing her face around her finger, smoothing down her dress one more time. She grabbed her bouquet from the small table, the light green hydrangeas and carnations with the deep purple stargazer lilies and sweet pea flowers, interspersed with paper roses made from an upcycled romance novel she found on the internet. She balanced it in her hand for a moment, before looking at her father.

"Come on, Dad. Let's go."

* * *

He could barely keep his palms from sweating as he waited up in front of the crowd of settling people, Bob standing behind him. He was nervous, embarrassingly so for someone who has done this twice before but this… this was Kate. It wasn't an obligation, or a desperate attempt at building a family. This was… right.

He checked his watch for the fourth time in 3 minutes.

The wedding officially started in a minute.

He looked down and saw Alexis and Lanie in their black dresses, holding their tiny bouquets, Ryan and Esposito standing next to them laughing. Alexis looked over at him, blew him a kiss from the end of the aisle before turning back around to look at Ryan, laughing lightly. Then, they all looked behind them simultaneously before turning back around and lining up, Ryan linking his arm with Alexis, and throwing Rick a thumbs up.

Is that equivalent to Prince Harry turning to Prince William during the royal wedding and saying "wait until you see her"?

He thinks it might be.

He thinks there was music, there had to be music right? All of them started walking towards him down the aisle, Alexis and Ryan first followed by Lanie and Esposito. They settled up at the front of the room near him, and then the entire crowd turned to face the entrance of the room.

And there she was.

His eyes started to water as soon as she started walking towards him, and he hoped to god that all of the eyes in the room were on her (as they should be) when he swiped at his eyes.

She was a vision.

A vision in a wedding dress.

A smiling vision in a wedding dress walking towards _him_ holding her bouquet in one hand, the other linked with her father, because they were getting married.

When Jim and Kate reached him, he took a step towards them. Jim turned to Kate and kissed her cheek, squeezing her hand lightly before Jim put her hand in Rick's, taking a step back and moving back towards his seat to sit next to the seat with nothing but one of those paper roses Kate had found on the internet that she'd put into her bouquet sitting on top of it.

Kate squeezed his hand, and smiled at her.

He wanted to kiss her, but he knew he couldn't. So he lifted her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles without looking away from her, his fingers brushing over the strand of diamonds on her wrist.

He doesn't remember what happened. His mother read something and then Bob spoke some more about love and the journey. He thinks he made a few jokes because Kate chuckled a few times, the smile never fading from her face and she looked so happy and beautiful and she was wearing all white, standing in front of him and this was _their wedding _and was anybody really expecting him to pay attention?

But then she let go of his hands, reaching around and grabbing something from Lanie, a piece of paper, oh right, their vows, and he realized it was his turn to speak. He dug around in his pocket, pulling out the sheet of paper he'd written his vows on, and started.

"From the moment I met you, I was intrigued. You showed up at my book party with your no nonsense cop attitude and you took my breath away. You were a challenge, composed of so many different layers that I couldn't get enough of. I didn't expect to fall in love with you the first time I saw you…" he looked at her, smiling, "… but I'm so glad I did. You are so much more to me than a muse – You're my best friend, the person who saw straight through my defenses and pulled the real me out from behind the curtains. You're my partner, in every sense of the word and you could have any man in the world crawling at your feet, yet you chose me, and for that I am forever grateful. I am going to spend the rest of my life proving to you just how extraordinary you are, how much I love you. Because I do - I love you, and I always will."

Kate blinked quickly, reaching up a hand and wiping at the moisture under her eyes before she started to read her vows.

"When you suggested we write our own vows, I was nervous. You're the writer and I'm just the muse. But that's when I realized something important…" she looked up at him, her eyes starting to shine, "You've been my inspiration, too. You make me want to be more, better, to be someone that is worthy of all the love you've given me. You've waited so long for me and I'm not going to make you wait another second. It hasn't been easy, but it's brought us here. We wrote our story with best-selling books and case files, pens and dry erase markers, and now we start a new chapter with these rings…" she reached out, wiped the tear he hadn't realized he cried away from his cheek, her hands steady, "… I love you, my loving, childish, perfect partner, and I always will."

He stared at her, fighting the urge to reach out and tug her towards him, wanting to kiss her senseless but refraining.

"Just when I thought I couldn't love you more," he whispered to her, watching her smile grow shy, her cheeks turning pink.

Bob cleared his throat behind the two of them and Rick startled slightly looking back at him.

"Do you, Richard Castle, take this woman, Katherine Beckett, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Rick smiled.

"I do."

"And do you, Katherine Beckett, take this man, Richard Castle, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Just when Rick thought her smile couldn't get any bigger…

"I do."

He felt Esposito nudge him on the shoulder, and he turned around and saw him holding out a ring.

_Her ring_.

He took it, choosing to ignore Esposito's smirk at his shaking hands but not the moisture on his lower lids.

He'd get him for it later.

But now, he was holding onto Kate's hand, repeating the lines Bob was feeding him back to her and thank god for Bob because he wouldn't have been able to remember what he was supposed to say if his life depended on it.

And then Kate was sliding a ring onto his finger, her eyes never leaving his, repeating after Weldon.

"Now, by the power invested in me by the state of New York, I know pronounce you husband and wife. Rick, you may now kiss your bride like we can all tell you've wanted to do since you saw her at the other end of the aisle."

The crowd laughed and Kate closed her eyes briefly before looking back up at him, her eyes expectant. He took that extra step towards her, his hands coming up to cup her face as he pressed his lips to hers. She melted against him immediately, the smile still on her lips, her hands coming up to rest on his chest.

He pulled away from her after a moment, resting his forehead against hers as the crowd stood up from their seats, clapping wildly.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Bob said loudly, his voice projecting over the crowd, "I am pleased to _finally _introduce you to the new Mr. and Mrs. Castle."

* * *

If you're curious...

To see Kate's dress, go to Maggie Sottero's website and look at "Erin"  
For what the bridesmaid's dresses _essentially _look like... go to Modcloth, and search for "Sleek It Out Dress"

I don't think I'm going to go many more of these.


	11. December 31, 2025

Kris says this is the hardest thing she's ever had to read that I sent to her.

Take that as you will.

* * *

**December 31, 2025**

"Ayo, boss," she heard Esposito say, "Our witness just came in, says she's ready to talk."

Kate paused, her hands hovering over the power button on her computer, looking up at the him.

"The witness? As in, the 7-year-old witness that hasn't spoken a word in two days?"

Esposito nodded, "that's the one. She even said hi to me."

Kate looked at the time on her watch, sighing before letting her hand fall away from her computer.

"Do you want me to take it?" she said, knowing that the little girl may be more comfortable with her in the room.

"Nah," Esposito shook his head, "Ryan and I will handle it. We brought in a sketch artist. Hopefully she'll give us something to work with."

Kate nodded, "Just try to make it quick okay? We have a party to go to."

Esposito nodded, a smile spreading across his face.

"A party at the Old Haunt with your boy's free alcohol and a sitter all night? Chica, you know I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Kate smiled, nodding at him as he turned away from the door.

She could always do some more paperwork.

* * *

Kate looked up from the stack of paperwork on her desk at the sound of heavy footsteps outside of her door. Her eyes immediately found the cause, a tall, white man in a dark gray zip up walking quickly through the bullpen, headed towards the interview room where Ryan and Esposito were. Kate tensed, her shoulders stiffening, her brow furrowing, her hand drifting down towards the drawer in her desk where she kept her gun, her eyes never leaving the man.

She watched as the man threw open the door to the interview room. She stood up quickly as the man's hand reached inside of his coat, her hand gripping the handle of her drawer until she heard the little girl scream, the deafening and unforgettable echo of a gunshot ringing through the bullpen. She wrenched her drawer open as more shots were fired, her heart racing, pulled out her piece, unlocking the safety as she pushed past her desk, barreling through the door. The gunshots didn't stop as Kate reached the man.

He must have heard her footsteps because he turned around, firing at her. His bullet grazed her arm and she flinched in pain, before raising her own gun, firing back instantly, putting two rounds in his chest. The man, whose face was so horrifyingly emotionless, crumpled in on himself, and fell to the floor, his hands lifting up to the spot on his chest where he was bleeding profusely.

She rushed over him.

"Javi! Kevin! Are you alright?"

She looked around, quickly finding Kevin laying on the ground, clutching his leg, the sketch artist in a similar position holding his arm. The little girl was crying, sobbing her eyes out from behind Esposito and –

_Oh my god._

"Esposito!" Kate screamed.

She bypassed Ryan, a uniform already moving towards him to help and landed in a heap near Esposito.

She pried his hands off his neck and replaced them with her own, pushing down on the bullet hole, his eyes wide with fear.

"Esposito, stay with me," she said, trying to keep her voice steady, "hold on, Javi, a bus is on its way."

He just stared at her, blood squirting out of his neck.

The bullet must have hit an artery.

_Damn it_.

"You're going to be fine," she said, her voice cracking slightly, "You're going to be okay."

She heard Ryan shout out in pain and looked over, saw one of the uniforms pushing down on his wound, another uniform tending to the sketch artist. She vaguely heard Gates calling out orders, the sound of people talking on their phones, running through the bullpen.

She looked back down at Esposito, saw his eyes starting to close.

"Javi, no!" Kate barked, her hands pressing harder against his neck, the blood still pouring out between her fingers, "Don't you dare close your eyes."

She looked over her shoulder screamed out to the people in the bullpen.

"Someone get help!"

She looked back down, and his eyes were closed.

"Javi, no!" she said again, "Javi open your eyes."

He didn't respond.

"Javi, come on!" she cried, her voice finally breaking.

"Lieutenant," she heard Gates say, her voice impossibly soft, "that's enough."

Kate squeezed her eyes shut, letting out an unsteady breath that sounded suspiciously like a sob, letting her weight fall from her heels as she rocked back, landing on the ground with a muted thud.

She couldn't feel his pulse underneath her hands anymore.

She leaned forward, pressed her hands against her forearms, trying to control her breathing and failing miserably. She heard Ryan yelling off to the side, calling out for his partner and she felt the tears slip from the corner of her eyes at the desperation in his tone, listening to Gates try and calm him down.

It wasn't working.

* * *

She couldn't look in the interview room. Kevin was gone, carried out on a gurney followed by the sketch artist and finally the little girl wrapped tightly in a blanket. The only thing left were two bodies, covered in white sheets, one from the man she had known for so many years, the other the man whom she wanted to bring back to life a hundred times over just so she could kill him again and again.

Two bodies, two white sheets, and blood.

So much blood.

Gates had taken her gun. The paramedics cleaned up her arm as she gave her statement to one of the officers, her hands wiped clean but tinted red. The paramedic finished patching her up, not even bothering to smile at her before he stood up and moved away from her, though she didn't look at him either, her head hanging limply as she stared blankly at the floor.

Esposito was gone.

"I want you," she heard Gates say, directing a uniform, "to go downstairs to the person at the front desk, figure out how the hell this man got in here. You, Martin, contact the girl's grandmother and get her down here. Hurley, Lock," she said, pointing to two uniforms, "go down to the morgue and inform Dr. Esposito what happened -"

Kate inhaled deeply, her head snapping up, her eyes burning.

"Don't you dare," Kate said, her voice low, her eyes rimmed red but her gaze no less intimidating as she glared at the uniforms, then at Gates. Gates raised an eyebrow at her, and Kate swallowed roughly.

"I'll tell her."

* * *

Kate walked down in the morgue, tucking her phone back inside her pocket.

She'd barely been able to keep it together on the phone when she called Rick, but she knew that she had to try and keep it together when she saw Lanie.

She walked through the open morgue doors, finding Lanie sitting at her desk, looking through a file. She looked up at the sound of Kate's heels across the tile floor.

"Hey girl," Lanie said, looking her up and down, "you look like hell."

Kate shrugged, her arm protesting at the movement and Lanie stood up at the wince.

"Kate, you're bleeding!"

Kate nodded, sniffling slightly, "I know."

"Girl, what happened?"

Kate closed her eyes briefly, trying to keep the tears back but she couldn't.

"Kate…"

"There was a shooting," Kate said, trying to keep her voice steady, "He came after a seven year old witness."

"Oh my god, is she alright."

Kate nodded, "Yeah, she's fine."

An unstable silence filled the room.

"What aren't you telling me?" Lanie said, moving towards her. She kept her eyes trained on her, and Kate watched as the realization made its way into her mind.

"Kate," she said quietly, "Where's Javi?"

Kate felt her face crumple momentarily and tried to smooth it out but she knew that Lanie had seen it.

"I'm so sorry, Lanie," she exhaled unsteadily.

"No, no Kate no," Lanie said moving away from her, "This isn't funny."

"We did everything we could, Lanie," Kate said, taking a step towards her, "Ryan got shot in the leg. He's headed to the hospital right now, our sketch artist, too…"

"Kate…"

"He jumped in front of the little girl when the gunman started shooting," Kate said, shaking her head, "I got there as soon as I could but he'd already..." Kate pursed her lips, trailing off.

Lanie took a step back, her eyes shining, leaning against the autopsy table, her palms resting flat against the surface.

Kate watched her, her arms crossed over her chest, waiting for Lanie to make a move so she would know how to react. She watched Lanie squeeze her eyes shut, before she opened them slowly, lifting her head to look back at Kate.

"Javi…" she croaked.

And then Lanie fainted.

* * *

He found them in the morgue an hour later, sitting on floor, Kate sitting on the ground with her knees slightly extended, Lanie curled up into her side, her legs tossed over her lap, his wife's arms wrapped around her.

He stood outside the morgue, watching the scene through the open door, not wanting to intrude on the moment.

He didn't know what to do.

"Kate…" he heard Lanie whisper, her words choked.

"Yeah?" Kate responded softly.

"Did you get him?"

Kate nodded slightly.

"Yeah," she whispered, "I got him."

She paused for a moment, before continuing.

"And I made sure he felt it."

Lanie seemed to sink against her, exhaling unsteadily.

"Good," she said quietly, "that's good."

Rick took a step back from the open door moving as quietly as he could away from the door.

This wasn't his place right now.

* * *

Kate drove Lanie home.

She texted him an hour after he found her in the morgue, telling him that Gates had forced her to take at least until Sunday off of work, so she was going to take Lanie home and then head back to the loft.

He was helping Gates with the press release, trying to keep his emotions in check around his wife's boss and noticing that she was struggling to do so herself, and he left as soon as he got her message. His mother took Jonathon for the night when he explained the situation, offering her tearful condolences, so the loft was empty.

He beat her home.

When Kate walked through the door, he was waiting in the kitchen, trying to force himself to drink a glass of water when the door opened slowly and Kate slipped inside. She locked it behind her and took a few steps away from the doorway.

He didn't say anything but she found him quickly. Their gazes locked and Kate stopped moving, standing in the living room of the loft. He watched as her shoulders lifted with each breath she took, breathing unsteadily but so beautifully alive and oh god it could have been her so easily.

His gut twisted at the thought, guilt seeping into his core.

It was Esposito. Their friend, their coworker.

Their partner.

But it could have been her.

Suddenly, he watched Kate's face crumple, a sob bursting past her lips as she started to move towards him quickly. He met her halfway, pulling her into his arms as Kate sobbed against him, his own tears spilling from his eyes as they sank together on the floor of their living room, holding on to each other desperately.

* * *

**January 2, 2026**

There were hundreds of people at the viewing. Hundreds if not thousands of people coming to pay their respects to Javier Esposito – former military, current military, cops, politicians, civilians alike, all expressing their condolences.

_He died a hero._

_He was a good man._

_A tragedy – that's what this is. A damn tragedy._

He could tell Lanie was about to break.

She was standing up at the front of the receiving line, Esposito's two sisters and brother standing to her right, her chin high.

After about 200 people, she excused herself, stealing out from one of the doors. He excused himself from Kate and the kids, and followed her.

He managed to find an employee and they scrounged up a bottle of water, and Castle moved towards where she was sitting against the wall just beyond the doorway. He slid down beside her, not saying anything, handing her the bottle of water.

She looked at him, her eyes red, and he shrugged.

"I thought you might like something to drink."

Lanie nodded, twisting off the cap before taking a small sip, and then another one, and another. She closed the bottle back up once it was nearly halfway gone.

Rick waited.

"Why did we do this to ourselves?" Lanie said finally, her voice so uncharacteristically quiet.

"Do what?" Rick asked, matching her tone.

"Fall in love with cops," she said quietly.

"I don't think we had much of a choice there. New York's finest are surprisingly charming," Lanie cracked a small, sad smile, so he continued, "But we did marry them willingly. We knew what we were signing up for."

"But Kate's still here," she said, a bitterness he knew she didn't really feel biting her words.

But it was all so unfair. Jenny still had Kevin, though he had been shot. Rick still had Kate though she had been shot. But Javier was gone.

He took a deep breath.

"There's not a day when she walks out of the loft in the morning that I'm not terrified that something's going to happen to her or she won't come home," he admitted softly, "I have nightmares where she dies, back at Montgomery's funeral before we had a chance to start, when Maddox threw her off the roof when she thought I was angry at her. She knows it, too. I don't hide things well. I worry, just like you worry, and Jenny worries. But all those worries are worth it because she makes me better. We're a family, and we love each other. All the worry in the world is worth having a taste of someone you love," he said, "you know it is."

At her silence, he continued.

"It's still worth it," he murmured, "even now. You know why?"

Lanie looked up at him, her eyes still red and Rick knew that in any other situation she would have rolled her eyes and left him sitting there by himself.

"I can think of two off the top of my head," he said, "They look just like you and Javier. You've got two living reminders that he was here and how much you loved him and he loved you. He'll live on in you, and in your children, and in Kate and Ryan and Jenny and myself. He'll always be here," Rick said, reaching out and taking her hand gently in his own, "And you don't regret a single thing."

Lanie was quiet for a moment, letting it sink in, her hand still encased in his when she exhaled unsteadily.

"When'd you get so damn smart, Writer boy?" She said, her words barely above a whisper.

Rick gave her a small smile, squeezing her hand gently.

"It's going to be alright, Lanie," he said gently, "You're going to be okay."

* * *

Kevin woke up through the haze of painkillers, the steady sound of the heart monitor mocking him as his body tried to fight off unconsciousness.

His partner was dead. His best friend, his brother, was dead.

And he was still here.

As he became more and more aware, he felt the weight of something against his palm, fingers curled around his and he tried to focus on that, letting the warmth bring him back to reality.

He opened his eyes, blinked at the hospital lights to find Jenny.

"Hey," she whispered, squeezing his hand tightly.

"Hey," he croaked back, "How are you?"

She gave him a small smile.

"Isn't that what I'm supposed to be asking you?"

Kevin gave her a rueful smile.

"That answer is probably less than good."

A silence enveloped the room, weighing heavily on them both.

"The doctor was in here about an hour ago," Jenny said quietly, "They think you'll be able to leave on Sunday."

Ryan froze.

"The funeral's tomorrow."

"I know," Jenny said, her voice sympathetic, "but the doctors think you should –"

"To hell what the doctors think."

"Kevin, this is your health."

"And he was my partner!" he barked.

Ryan took a deep breath trying to calm himself down.

"Jenn," he said, "I need you to sign me out tomorrow. I… I _have _to be there. I'll let you bring me back afterwards," he said, looking up at her, his eyes rimmed with tears, "but I _need _to be there. With Kate and Castle and Lanie and the kids… I have to be there."

Jenny looked at him, her eyes shining, before she nodded.

"Okay," she said, her voice soft, "I'll sign you out tomorrow morning. For now, go back to sleep."

He looked at her.

"Do you promise you'll wake me up?"

Jenny sighed, standing up and leaning over the hospital bed, pressing a chaste kiss against his forehead.

"I promise, Kevin."

* * *

**January 3, 2026**

It was cold.

Lanie held onto the flag the officers had folded up and handed to her, her kids flanking her on both of her sides, huddled against her.

Lanie let her eyes drift, scanning over the crowd of people. Weldon came, so did Martha and Alexis and Jim. Rick and Jenny stood off to the side, holding onto their children. She looked at Kate, standing next to Ryan in a wheelchair, both dressed in their blues, trying to keep their chins high.

She braced herself for the first shot from the salute, her eyes still trained on Kate and Ryan, watching as they flinched at the first shot from the riffle. They prepared themselves for the next one, their shoulders back, as they saluted for their fallen partner.

Her husband.

She watched as they lowered the casket into the ground, and breathing out a puff of white air once she could no longer see the lid of it over the ground.

She heard Matthew sniffle.

Lanie wrapped her arms around her kids, pulling the two crying children against her tightly, the flag lying in her lap.

Lanie saw what murder had done to Kate. She saw how Royce's death changed her, how Montgomery's death changed them all.

And she was determined not to let that happen.

She looked back over at Castle, who had his hand on his son's hair as he stood pressed against him, one arm wrapped around his daughter. Jenny was in a similar position. And then she looked back over at Kate and Ryan, saw that while no one was looking at him, Kate had moved. One of the hands clasped behind her back was positioned behind Ryan's wheelchair, her fingers just visible on top of his shoulder.

Lanie closed her eyes, letting the image sink in.

They'd help keep each other warm.


	12. May 22, 2013

So, uh... life happened. And that sucked.

* * *

**May 17, 2013**

"I don't want you to do it."

Kate paused outside of the precinct, spinning slowly on her heel to look back at him.

"Excuse me?"

Her eyes were shining with something that looked an awful lot like betrayal.

She had been withdrawn since the moment she walked out of Gates' office 2 hours before, so he took her by the hand and led her out of the precinct, taking her to get coffee. They sat down for lunch, picking at stale muffins left over from the morning before and then she told him what Gates had said. Then they took their coffee to go, and started moving back towards the precinct.

They wanted her to have the arrest.

They really shouldn't, not if they wanted the case to be as open and shut as they needed to it be, but he understood the appeal. She was well-known, well-loved, not only in the eyes of New York but all over the country, if not the world, thanks to Nikki Heat. Letting her have the arrest sends a message – that good conquers evil, hard work and determination pays off in the end. It'll give her closure.

It's what he's wanted for her since the moment they met.

"I don't want you to go."

She frowned at him.

"Castle…"

"I don't like it."

"I'm going to be fine," Kate said, her voice rising slightly, still looking at him incredulously, "What's gotten into you?"

"What's gotten into me?" Rick hissed, his eyes widening, "This man tried to kill you, Kate! Do you not remember that? I'm sorry if I don't want you anywhere near him."

"Of course I remember!" Kate answered defensively, "Rick, he killed my mother!"

"He nearly killed you!"

This was wrong. He watched her mouth clench shut, her teeth grinding together as she looked at him, her hand clenched around the coffee cup in her hand. They shouldn't be fighting about this. He was handling this terribly.

"You're asking me to give this up," she said, her voice frighteningly even, "I've been waiting for this for 14 years, and you're asking me –"

"I'm not asking –"

"Then what the hell are you trying to do, Castle?" she yelled, and he swore he saw her eyes start to glisten, "I have worked for 14 years to get to this moment, have fought for 14 years to see this man taken down, and I will be damned if I don't see it all the way through."

He reached out a hand towards her, placing it on her arm, "Kate –"

"No," she said, shrugging him off, her voice low, "don't you dare 'Kate' me. We may be in a relationship, Castle, and I love you… but you don't own me. And I'm not going to let you take this away from me."

She stepped away from him, throwing her fresh coffee in the garbage can by the precinct's entrance before turning back towards him, her eyes blazing.

"Go home."

* * *

He got a text at midnight.

He had stayed up, staring blankly at his computer screen in his office, waiting for her to come home.

So he could apologize, so he could tell her he loved her and try to explain himself.

He nearly jumped when his phone vibrated on his desk.

He lifted it up, his heart sinking when he saw that it was from Lanie.

_Kate's fine. She's staying with me tonight. What the hell happened?_

Rick closed his eyes, simultaneously relieved and heartbroken that she was with Lanie, before he opened his eyes and typed out a quick response.

_Thank you, Lanie._

He turned his phone on silent and immediately dialed Kate's number, her phone immediately going to voicemail. He tried not to let that hurt as much as it really did, listened to her recording as he rubbed his hand across his face. At the tone, he took a deep breath.

"Hey, Kate, it's me," he exhaled, "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I know how much this means to you, and I don't want to stand in the way of that. I just… the thought of you, so close to the man who almost took you away from me… It makes me nauseous. I don't even like the thought of him being on the same planet as you… but you're right. This is what you've been waiting for, and it's selfish of me to try and stand in the way because I'm afraid. If you don't want me to come in tomorrow, just… text me or something. Let me know. If you don't, I'll see you in the morning, with your coffee…" he paused for a moment. "I'm sorry, Kate. I love you. I really, really do."

He hung up the phone and stood up, ignoring the text back from Lanie. He stretched, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck as he moved towards the bedroom. He went into his bathroom, washed his face, brushed his teeth before turning off the light and moving into his bedroom. He took off his button up and threw it into the hamper, his pants following quickly before he paused, staring at the bed.

The rational side of himself was telling him to go to sleep. He was tired. Things would be better in the morning after they both got some sleep. But his heart wouldn't let him move.

He couldn't sleep in it without her anymore.

Not when she was angry with him.

He pulled the blanket off the bottom of the bed and moved out into the living room, settling on the sofa with the blanket wrapped around him, and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep.

* * *

He tried to fall asleep. Really, he did. He tried to control his breathing, count backwards from one hundred, tried counting sheep but his mind wouldn't shut off. His thoughts wouldn't stop spinning around in his head, scenarios playing out along the back of his eyelids.

She was fine. She was with Lanie.

She was safe.

He heard the front door open quietly around 3 AM, the sound of a key sliding nearly noiselessly into the lock. He heard her close the door behind her, the sound of something that sounded like a bag being placed on the ground, shoes being toed off, her footsteps moving closer to him, slowing down as they moved towards the couch.

Her footsteps stopped in front of him, and she couldn't see that his eyes were open, long since adjusted to the darkness, watching her move through the loft.

"Rick?" she whispered.

He blinked up at her, dressed in a pair of gym shorts he recognized as the pair from her locker at the precinct, a faded NYPD t-shirt on and socks, her hair hanging limply around her face.

He reached out a hand from underneath the blanket, grasping hers and squeezing it tightly.

She nodded, crouching down on the balls of her feet, lifting their hands to her lips and kissing his knuckles softly, her free hand stroking the skin of his wrist.

He sat up, propping himself up on his elbow, and leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against her forehead, inhaling deeply at the same moment she let out the breath she had been holding, both silent forms of forgiveness.

Rick moved away from a moment before settling back down onto the sofa, maneuvering the blanket so he could open it up for her, his arms spread wide as he beckoned her forward.

He thought he saw her smile before she crawled onto the sofa and into his embrace, her nose pressed against his chest, her hands coming up to fist his t-shirt. He closed his arms around her, encasing her in the blanket as she shifted closer to him, breathing out a sigh as she got comfortable.

It was enough to lull him to sleep.

* * *

**May 22, 2013**

He found her sitting at the bar in the kitchen, staring at the paper in front of her.

He moved slowly, purposefully shuffling his feet across the hardwood so he didn't spook her. Martha and Alexis were still asleep, Alexis home again having just finished up her last exams of her first year of college days before, and it was too early for both of them to get up. The paper probably only arrived half an hour before he realized that she was no longer lying next to him in his sleep, and he immediately got up to look for her.

Even knowing the danger was gone he still panicked when he couldn't find her.

He's going to have to work on that.

The morning after their big fight, which had ended up with their faces in the paper, they had a meeting with Gates that morning about the takedown that would happen within the next few days in the Hamptons. Castle offered his beach house as a base and it was decided who would go to the house with Kate for the arrest. He was surprised to be the first name Gates mentioned, but he didn't question it, and they decided they would head up to his house the next morning. He gave Gates the address to pass along to the Feds and left her office with Kate in tow.

She went home with him that night.

He finally reached Kate, placed a soft, tentative, hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly, his thumb sliding over the fabric of his shirt she was wearing, rubbing soothing circles against her skin.

He had no doubt what she was looking at.

"I voted for him," she whispered, her voice filled with horror. She swallowed loudly, shaking her head.

"I did, too," he whispered back, almost ashamed.

Because really, they had no idea Senator McConnell, known for building himself up from nothing, for protecting the little man, was behind any of this, but it feels like they should have, right? It seemed impossible that they helped build McConnell into the monster that he was; that Kate helped put the man who ordered the hit on her mother, the man who ordered the hit on _her_, into office.

That Rick voted for the man who put a bullet into Kate's chest makes him sick.

He looked down at the front page, saw the face staring back at him that he had seen so many times before. He thought back, wondered if he ever shook McConnell's hand before at one of Weldon's parties: they were friends, he remembers, something about knowing people in high places and how that protects you.

It makes him wonder if Weldon knew about all of this, if that case a few years before when Weldon almost got kicked out of office was a warning sent from McConnell not to do anything stupid.

Like try and run for the Senate.

He read the title again, "**20 YEAR OLD CONSPIRACY UNCOVERED: MAN RESPSONSIBLE FOR THE DOZENS OF DEATHS FINALLY TAKEN DOWN, DETECTIVE GETS JUSTICE." **The second part caught his eye and he fought the urge to grip her shoulder tighter.

They had thrust her in the spotlight, uncovered the past she had tried to keep so desperately hidden from everyone with black ink and recycled paper, on display for everyone to see. People would save this paper, put it in boxes in storage so their grandchildren could see a moment in history and generations to come would know just exactly how much she had suffered.

She wanted the truth and she finally found it, and just when they both started to think that it was time to heal, the press put her straight in the middle of everything. It was precisely what they didn't want.

He noticed that the article continued on the next page.

"Have you read the rest of it?" he murmured, leaning in to press his lips to her hair.

Kate shook her head against him and he felt the controlled sigh rake through her body. He saw her fingers twitch against the corner of the paper, rubbing the edge between her fingertips before she exhaled loudly and turned the page.

They both froze when they looked at it.

He recovered first, brought his other hand up and skimmed it up her spine, feeling each vertebra under the palm of his hand, trying to break the rigidity in her back before he found her other shoulder, squeezing it tightly as if that would calm her down.

Because there, staring right back at them in black and white, were the three men that lied to her, the ones that started this whole mess.

John Raglan, Gary McAllister, and Roy Montgomery.

"No…" she murmured.

He gripped her shoulders a little bit tighter, trying to keep her grounded, bring her back because he can see she's about to lose it, and all he wanted to do was thrust the paper away from her, throw it out the window, burn it in the fireplace, but he knew she wouldn't let him. He read the article over her shoulder and closes his eyes at the mention of Montgomery, his hopes that the picture was just explaining the situation of her shoot quickly torn into pieces, realizing that everyone would know the truth now, that her captain, _their _captain's legacy and memory were now marred forever because of words printed in dirty, black ink.

All he could hear was her breathing speeding up.

"How did they know?" she whispered quietly before repeating the question with more force as she reached the same point he had, her voice unsurprisingly unsteady and he had dealt with enough crying women (most notably his own daughter) to know what was about to come.

He slid his hands up and down her arms, trying to sooth her, bring her down off the ledge but his heart ached, because the loyalty she had for Montgomery - the Captain who lied to her, betrayed her, was a key part of the equation that led to her mother's murder and a bullet in her chest, whom she forgave no questions asked that night in the hangar when he sacrificed himself for her – had never wavered. That reporter had brought up every trauma, every person that had betrayed her in regards to this case, violated every shred of privacy Kate had tried to maintain, and yet she focused on the fact that Montgomery's name had been tarnished.

"Why?" she demands again, sniffling slightly.

He had a feeling she was going to wake his daughter and mother but he knew that they would forgive her, understood that after 14 years of pain and anger that she needed this.

"I don't know," Rick says honestly. Perhaps it was the FBI, maybe Gates.

He really had no idea.

He heard her let out something that sounded like a sob and moved around her quickly. She immediately shifted to accommodate him, her legs widening so he could stand between them, her face burrowing into his chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders, holding her to him protectively as she cried violently in his arms. Her own arms snaked around him, holding him to her as if she was afraid he would pull away.

"They used his name…" he thought he heard her say, but he couldn't tell for sure and he heard someone at the top of the steps so he looked up.

Martha and Alexis were standing there in their pajamas, hands gripping the railing, looking down at the scene with compassion and sympathy but Rick shook his head at them. He knew they would want to come down, try to help but it would only make Kate hole up inside of herself again and he couldn't let that happen.

Martha nodded in understanding, tugging on Alexis' arm and pulling her back up the stairs, both casting concerned looks behind them as they head back to their respective rooms.

Her sobs began to slow down, but he could still feel the moisture of her tears soaking into his undershirt and he rocked them slowly from side to side.

"We have to call Evelyn," she said as she tried to pull away from him.

"It can wait," he responded, his arms

She unwrapped her arms from his torso and tried to slide them in between their chests to push him off.

"No, it can't… we have to explain –"

"It's six in the morning, Kate," he murmured, sliding his hands around her until he was holding her face in his hands, his thumbs swiping at the tears on her cheeks tenderly.

"We'll call later," he continued quietly, "We'll _all _go and talk to her, explain why we did what we did and what really happened."

She nodded slightly, tilting her head to the side and pressing a soft kiss against his palm, a silent thank you that she really didn't need to offer.

He leaned down, pressed his lips to her forehead, felt her warm breath against his throat as she exhaled.

"I still miss them so much," she choked out.

He swallowed painfully, feeling a fresh wave of tears falling onto his thumb. He couldn't bring back her mother. He couldn't undo what Roy had done. He couldn't protect her from her past.

But he could wrap his arms around her again, bring her into his embrace again, hide her in his arms for a moment. He could make her feel loved, give her his shoulder when she needed it, be her legs when her heels break and she can't walk on her own. He could be the strong one when she just can't do it anymore.

And from the way she settled against his chest, hands gripping his shirt, her legs moving to wrap around his own, he had a feeling it was helping. At least a little bit.

He would stand with her as the world burned down around them if it would make the flames hurt a little less.

* * *

**May 29, 2013**

It was far too early for a phone to be ringing.

He heard Kate groan, shifting off of him, and he reached blindly towards her side of the bed blindly, trying to tug her back down to him and failing miserably.

They didn't have to be back at work for another week.

Whoever it was could wait until it wasn't…

He opened one eye a crack, found the clock on his nightstand and groaned once the blurry numbers became clear.

Seven in the morning.

The ringing stopped.

"Beckett," he heard her say.

He closed his eyes again.

"Hello, Sir."

His arm came up in an attempt to keep out the sunlight.

"What?" he heard Kate say, her voice surprisingly quiet.

He opened his eyes in shock at her tone and looked over at her, their sheets lying low across her waist, her bare back facing him, shoulders tense.

"How the hell did he –"

Kate cut off, listening to the person (_Gates?)_ on the other sign of the line.

She was quiet for a long time, listening to the person on the other line, before she mumbled a quiet "yes, sir," and hung up the phone, dropping it back down onto the end table. She stayed frozen in place.

He reached out, placed a gentle hand on her back but she didn't move.

"Kate?"

She didn't respond.

"Kate, what happened?"

A silent moment stretched between them, minutes passing before Kate answered.

"That was Gates," she mumbled.

He nodded though she was still facing away from him, running his hand down her spine.

"What did she say?"

Kate swallowed, he felt it through his palm.

"McConnell's dead."

He felt like the air evaporated from the room, the words weighing heavily on his chest.

"What?" he breathed out unevenly.

"They found him," Kate said, her tone dangerously even, "in his cell this morning when they went to transfer him. Prelim says it was cyanide."

He tried to wrap his head around it. This was… good. It was really over now. He was gone. There would be no doubt. He wouldn't come back to bite them. The dragon was dead.

He watched Kate shake her head.

"That bastard," she said, her shoulders tightening for a moment before she sank back down into the pillow, curling up into herself, "… that fucking bastard."

He let his hand fall from her back, looking at her in confusion.

This was good, wasn't it? It was over. There would be no more press or articles. There would be no trial. There would –

Oh.

There would be no trial.

McConnell may have been arrested but he pleaded not guilty. So there would have been a trial, a trial that would have held him accountable for all he had done. There would have been evidence, evidence that Kate had spent 14 years living under the weight of. But now he's dead. He'd never take the stand, never be forced to justify his actions, never be found officially guilty and be forced to pay for what he'd done to so many people, to so many families, to _her_.

He took away her victory.

And there was nothing Rick could do to make it better.

He reached out, wrapped his hand around her shoulder and rolled her over to face him. Her face was in her hands and he tugged her towards him, wrapping his arms around her and holding her as she tried not to cry.

"You beat him, Kate," he whispered, "He knew he couldn't win against you, Kate. You won."

She shook her head, against his chest, her shoulders hitching slightly.

"He's a coward," he tried again, "he's a monster and everyone knows what he's done."

She just continued to shake her head, trembling in his arms.

Realizing that he wasn't helping, he squeezed her tighter.

"I've got you," he murmured against her forehead, "we'll get through this."

And then she shattered in his arms.

* * *

"We should get away," he said softly a couple of hours later.

After Kate cried, screamed, and cursed herself out, she had fallen asleep again. He sat in their bed, holding her as she slept until she woke up. She took a shower, and Rick made her breakfast, and they had ended up back in their bed, curled around each other while they sat, lost in their own thoughts, trying to ignore the news broadcast his mother and Alexis were listening to as they moved around the loft.

"I don't think I can handle the Hamptons right now…" Kate mumbled honestly.

"No, farther than that," Rick said, not wanting to go anywhere near the Hamptons at least until the wounds left by McConnell started to heal.

"Like where?" she said.

"Wherever you want," he said, "We could go to London, or Paris. We could go to Russia so I can admire your Russian skills," she cracked a small smile, "Hell, we could go to Canada if that's what you want. Let's just go."

Kate sighed against him, and he thought she was going to ignore him, or tell him no, so he let the subject drop.

"Whatever you want, Kate."

She was on paid administrative leave for the next month and a half.

He wrapped his arms a little tighter around her.

"Let's go somewhere new," she said softly after a moment, "Somewhere we've both never been."

"Like where?" Rick said.

"I don't know," she answered.

"Well," he said, "I think I have a world map lying around here somewhere… and I can probably scrounge up some darts…"

She smacked his chest lightly, and he smiled, leaning down and pressing a kiss against her head.

Then he let go of her for a moment, reaching over and opening the drawer to his nightstand, pulling out his iPad.

"My dear," he said grandly, turning on the device with a flourish, "Let's plan an adventure."

* * *

(I really don't know how many more of these I have left in me.  
This one took me weeks and I'm still not overly fond of it.)


	13. September 19, 2065

I've been trying to update at least once every week.  
I've had this written for weeks now.

* * *

**September 18, 2065**

He hadn't been expecting it to happen so quickly. He always knew it was going to happen, but even at 92, he always thought he'd have more time. With her.

He never imagined outliving her. She'd always been the healthier of the two.

It started when she woke up in the middle of the night panting. She told him she was fine. It was probably just a dream she didn't remember.

Then she would run out of breath as she walked from their bedroom to the kitchen. She told him she was fine. She was just getting older and he knew all about that, didn't he?

When he caught her hunched over the sink in their bathroom, clutching her chest, he took her to the hospital.

Heart failure, the doctor had said. When Rick argued that that wasn't possible, that she was more in shape than anyone he knew, that she had run until she retired and still did yoga every morning, the doctor had given him a sympathetic look and told him that sometimes these things just happen.

Sometimes hearts just… stop working.

It's a miracle, they told him, that she had survived this long with all the trauma her body had gone through: Explosions, hypothermia, bullets, torture…

A heart can only take so much.

They told them that she could get a transplant, but they had no human hearts available and she was far down the list, and the mechanical prototype would need to be ordered and shipped from California, and those were on backorder because of all the 40-somethings with money that wanted to live forever, and yes, the system was flawed but that's just the way it is.

Other than that, the doctors said, there's really nothing else they could do. They put her on medicine for the pain, and kept her in the hospital.

He called his children and told them what had happened, and they all came to say their goodbyes. Alexis and Ian had come by, Spencer and Riley coming later on the first day, Jonathon, Veronica, and James came by on the second, and on the third day the doctors said they didn't think she would make it through the night.

So when she told him she wanted to go home, that's what he did. He checked her out of the hospital, and took her home.

* * *

**September 19, 2065**

"Can we go to bed?" she asked him quietly, "I'm so tired."

When they had gotten home, he had asked her what she wanted to do. So they were in his office, he was sitting in his desk chair with Kate curled up on a chair right next to him. He was holding her hand, rubbing the long since wrinkled skin while he read her _Heat Wave_, the book that had started their lives together over 50 years ago. Real books had long since become obsolete, ebooks taking their place but his books still sat in the outdated bookshelves that separated his office from the rest of the loft, the two of them from the rest of the world.

He closed his eyes and took his reading glasses off, nodding at her.

"Of course we can."

He closed _Heat Wave _and set it on his desk, put his reading glasses on top of it and stood up, ignoring the creak of his aging bones. He held out his hand to her and she took it, and he led her into their bedroom like he had done so many times before, but this time much slower, as if he could prolong the inevitable.

Or maybe they just couldn't go any faster.

He helped her get changed into her pajamas and he put his on as well. He led her over to the bed, pulled down the bed sheets, waited for her to crawl onto the mattress that had been their haven for half a century before he covered her up and moved to his own side, slipping under the sheets to lie next to her.

As she settled up against him, she exhaled unsteadily.

"I'm so sorry," she said.

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing away the tears.

"None of this is your fault," he reassured her, "There's nothing to be sorry for."

She nodded against his chest, as if his apologies somehow made it all easier to deal with.

Maybe they did.

Anything to make it easier.

"All of our friends are already gone."

He didn't respond, but she kept talking.

"Esposito's been gone for almost 40 years…" she breathed, inhaling deeply once, trying to get as much air into her lungs as she could, "… and then Ryan and Jenny in that subway crash…. And Lanie a few years ago with her breast cancer..." she chuckled slightly, "You'd think by now they would've found a cure for cancer."

She inhaled again.

"I'm not scared," she said suddenly, her voice as strong as she could possibly make it, "I just don't want to leave you alone."

He pulled her tighter against his chest. One of his arthritic hands ran up and down her back slowly, and he could feel the ridges of her bones beneath her skin.

"I won't be alone," he assured her, "I'll have Alexis and Jonathon… and all of our grandkids. They'll take care of me."

"Well someone has to," she laughed lightly, but it sounded more like a wheeze.

He chucked with her, happy to be the butt of another joke if it made her happy right now. They laid together in silence for a long while and for a minute he thought that she may have fallen asleep.

"You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me," Kate said a moment later, her voice even softer than before, "I don't think I told you that nearly as often as I should have."

"Hey," he said softly, his hands still running up and down her back, "No talking like that. I know, Kate. I know. I got to spend 50 years of my life with your ring on my finger and nothing is ever going to take away the happiness you've given me, or what we've given each other. I don't regret a thing."

Kate inhaled through her nose.

"I don't either."

His hands stopped rubbing up and down her spine and he held her tightly against him, feeling her chest rise and collapse against his side like he had nearly every night for over 50 years.

"Castle?" she whispered against his chest.

Wow, she hadn't called him that in years.

"Yes, Beckett?" He said back. He felt her smile through his shirt and he pressed a gentle kiss against her nearly white hair.

"I love you," she looked up at him.

He leaned down to meet her, kissing her softly.

"I love you, too," he smiled.

She smiled back at him before settling her cheek back against his heart. Her left hand, still wearing the wedding ring that he had put on that very finger 50 years ago, came up and settled itself flat against his sleep shirt.

"Always," she breathed against him. Her eyes slid shut.

He felt his heart clench in his chest and nodded. He could feel her breathing slowing against him and grabbed her hand on his chest in his own, squeezing it tightly. He leaned down to press another soft kiss against her hair.

"Always, Kate."

* * *

When he woke up in the morning, he clenched his eyes shut, willing the tears away as he clutched at her desperately.

She was gone.


End file.
